Parshat Lech Lecha 5778

Please note that this D'var Torah was shared at our Friday night Kabbalat Shabbat minyan; it is still relevant for several weeks to come in terms of the text we continue to read and for our lives in thinking about what we fight for, the faith that motivates us, and why.

We live in an age of too many words, too many versions of stories we may not know much about and too many pulls on our intellect, emotions and sanity in trying to figure out what exactly is going on. What is the real story and not fabricated versions of what has happened? Further, is there even such a thing as a completely TRUE distillation of events or is every narrative filtered through various lenses as we try to decipher its meanings and the elements of its various threads? And what are the lessons of those stories that explain why we keep telling them over and over again? This is precisely the work of Biblical commentary when we look at these stories of our Torah that form the foundation of the story that we have inherited, continue to tell and will pass on as our legacy to those to come. And we have some difficult components of this week’s telling of Lech Lecha to be sure.

Rabbi Moshe ben Nachman Girondi or Nachmanides does not having any qualms about calling the Patriarchs and Matriarchs to task for deeds that are less than honorable. In commenting about this week’s Parsha’s narrative, particularly those events chronicled in 12:11 ff regarding how Avram acts when he realizes that the Egyptians may kill him because of his beautiful Sarah, Nachmanides teaches as follows:

Know that Avram our father unintentionally committed a great sin by bringing his righteous wife to a stumbling block of sin on account of his fear for his life. He should have trusted that God would save him and his wife and all his belongings, for God surely has the power to help and to save. … It was because of this deed that the exile in the land of Egypt at the hand of Pharaoh was decreed for his children.

Later in Chapter 16, when Sarai comes complaining to Avram about Hagar and Avram tells her to do with her maidservant as she sees fit, Nachmanides is none too pleased with her either, as he explains

Our mother Sarai transgressed by causing this affliction in sending Hagar away as did Avram by allowing her to do so. So God heard Hagar’s cries and gave her a son who would be a wild man to afflict the seed of Avram and Sarai with all kinds of trouble.

Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks points out that we must understand the context of this thinking as Nachmanides unpacks the text for us. Where does it come from? In Ramban’s own age (1194 – 1270), Jews were subject to attack by radical Islamist, the Almodhads, who ended what we know as the tolerant rule of the Umayyads and the Golden Age of Spain. Ramban and his contemporaries were clearly suffering and no doubt were put in the situation of having to make forced choices amongst alternatives that were not favorable or perhaps, even honorable. It may well have been this reality of his historical context that provided the overlay for how he saw, perhaps, justified Jewish suffering as a result of these missteps of those who birthed nations to come.

Isaac ben Judah Abarbanel (1437–1508) was a Portuguese Jewish statesman, philosopher, and commentator who looks at these events a bit differently. He suggests that Avram would have been willing to save Sarai with sacrificing his life; but he realized that Sarai would have been abducted anyway if he was no longer alive. Therefore, he may have realized that allowing himself to be killed for her sake as her husband would have been futile and thus claimed she was his sister. Abarbanel compares this to Aaron and the Egel HaMasecha – if he had not allowed the people to do what they wanted, they would have killed him and then done what they pleased, so what would be the point? Again, Abarbanel lived at a time when the Jewish people were often under attack and thus subjected to forced choices. Maybe for him the lesson is how does one decide in such impossible situtions in which there are choiceless or forced choices?

A bit later in the narrative (18: 12ff) when Sarah and Avraham are told they shall have a son of their own, Sarah laughs, and again many commentators have a really hard time justifying this action. Abarbanel asks where is Avraham’s and Sarah’s faith in God. Here he compares them to Noach whom God tells to build an ark and to save his family and he does not ask any questions but rather does all that God tells him to do in exactly the way God tells him to do it. While Rashi and others claim that this very difference is the source of why we consider Avraham and Sarah better role models of so much as they are worried about others, serving guests, negotiating for the people of Sodom and Amora while Noach just worries about his family; Abarbanel shows us that something else is going on here. Where is the faith in God that Avraham and Sarah are to have? Why are they not able to call upon it when it matters the most in their personal lives?

Nechama Leibowitz has us ask WHY did God choose Avram? Clearly God is invested in all people and ultimately we all have one father, going back to the story of Creation. But what exactly is going on here? Why is Avraham instructed to leave all that he knows and go to the place that God will show him? Nechama states that no reason is given. We know why Noach was chosen – he showed himself to be worthy and followed God in every way. But Avraham – we do not know why he was chosen or that he should have been the one who was chosen, given the various choices and actions we see that made up the totality of his life. He protects and advocates on behalf of the people of Sodom and Amora but lies to save his life, potentially putting Sarah in danger. He welcomes guests to his home and rolls out the red carpet for them while showing readiness to sacrifice his son, replicating practices that no doubt he saw during his formative years. What lesson is there in his becoming Avraham Aveinu and in Sarah being Sarah Emeinu for us today? To be sure, we have all talked many times in different venues about how the Patriarchs and the Matriarchs are imperfect. We embrace the Jewish narrative of the Torah in which we see their doubts, their flaws, and their shortcomings. That being said, I want to suggest something else.

Perhaps it is their lack of faith or the expanse of that faith in God so repeatedly chronicled in this and in coming Parshiot that we are to take note of and watch. These chapters of our past may have their most probative value in showing us how God and our ancestors negotiate what faith looks like. It is not automatic, it is not unquestioning, it is not blind. Rather, it is hard work and requires working through a relationship even when there are difficulties that threaten to sever that relationship. Further, maybe these experiences provide a context for God to show us the breath and breadth of God’s capacity in instructing us that there is a reason for us to place our faith in God. Ultimately, Sarah is not raped or taken by the Pharaoh, Hagar and Yishmael are saved and Yitzchak is born. That being said, there are consequences – we will be slaves in Egypt, Yitzchak’s generations to come will be in conflict and Yitzchak will not laugh at every juncture in his life. My point is not to create artificial and untenable equations here, but rather to indicate the complication that is inherent in the trajectory of our lives and in the many chapters we live through, as well as the extent to which faith gets us through them.

We speak of the Ten Tests of Avraham. I like to point out that the Hebrew word for testing and experiencing is the same word, n-s-h, which is to say every experience we have is potentially a test. We constantly are called to “put our faith to the test” in our lives, finding ourselves in impossible situations with choiceless choices to be made. Perhaps this is one of, if not the most salient lesson that Avraham Aveinu and Sarah Emeinu bequeath to us. Further, these tests of faith most powerfully present when they involve the fate or have ramifications for the ones we love the most. We are willing to argue for a just cause for others, we are willing to acquiesce to the requests of others when it is not a matter of life or death for us as does Avraham when he and Lot come to a land that must be divided between them and their groups. It is when it is OUR LIFE or OUR PERSONAL DESTINY that our faith is most put to the test. It is here that Avraham and Sarah may not get the highest scores.

Pastor Rick Warren, an Evangelical Christian minister explains as follows:

The Bible also tells us that with every promise there is a condition. One of the conditions for this promise is that you have to trust God. The more you trust God, the more God is able to meet needs in your life.

So, how can you learn to trust God more so God can meet all of your needs? How can you learn to have greater faith?

You don’t get faith by sitting in a Bible study group or just talking about it. Faith is like a muscle; it develops by being used. The more you use your faith, the more it gets stretched. And the more it gets stretched, the more God is able to bless your life.

We call the circumstances that God creates to stretch our faith "trials."

Stretching our Faith by Trials – this is what happens to Avraham ten times in our narrative. And as Pastor Rick says, the more Avraham uses his faith, it gets stretched and honed and expands. Maybe this is the most salient lesson of Avraham Aveinu and Sarah Emeinu – yes, there is their imperfection, but here we are talking about something else. How far can you stretch and use your faith so that it expands to the point that God is always part of the equation as you make decisions? The degree to which we can do that will directly impact the place of faith in our lives and the ongoing relationship we craft through its presence with God and all those around us, and for this lesson taught we thank Avraham Aveinu and Sarah Emeinu.

Shabbat Shalom.

Context is Everything – Now What Are We Supposed To Do? -- A Lesson about Processing our Laws and Practices

As I continue my learning of Masechet Kiddushin in the Gemara (Talmud) I am continually struck by not so much the laws and practices and discussion of them in the text, but more so by the context in which they are developed and the resultant adaptation. I continue to be more and more certain that we HAVE to look at the spirit of the law and the times in which it was developed and extrapolate lessons for our days, our time and our context in terms of this adaptive process. We need to remember not get tripped up on what one thinks to be the exact following of this practice or that tradition without a full understanding of how it came to be the practice it was and the nuances that are involved in that process as well as the resulting practice. Let me explain. I am in the middle of Perek Sheni (Chapter Two) of Mas. Kiddushin for those familiar with the text and am specifically engrossed by a discussion regarding marriages that are valid and those that are not. From a contemporary point of view, this discussion may seem odd at best and sit-com ridiculous at best. Here is an example (promise not to laugh too hard or shake your head too vigorously)!

On 51b (for those of you who want to check this out) we learn as follows:

“One who has two groups of daughters from two wives and says ‘I gave my oldest daughter to a certain man for marriage but I do not know if it was the oldest daughter of the older group of daughters or it was the eldest daughter of the younger ones… or the oldest daughter of this wife or the oldest daughter of that wife…’ they are all prohibited to marry other men except for the youngest daughter of the group of youngest ones.”

Okay, where do we begin? First of all let me assure you this is NOT part of a comedy sketch, but a realistic question. So before we even address the issue, remember that at this time as for so much of history marriage was in fact a business arrangement, not a love match. Involved were factors including maintaining of family fortunes, status, and connection to other families with whom there was already a generational connection as well as insuring the birth of children who would do all of the same things. Ask around in your own families and if you go far back enough, say as little as two generations for some of us, you will find that this discussion from no later than 600 CE would still be relevant, even operative say, 70 years ago. In some parts of the world today, it still is.

So before you pull out your NOW (National Organization of Women) posters and go to your nearest “How Horrible Men Are Rally,” consider that everyone, INCLUDING MEN, had scripted roles in communities to insure the viability and continuation of those groups of people and all that they had built up. Also to be factored in is that health care was not what it is in our world (though it still is not what we would want and need in too much of our world today, if we are honest with ourselves) and giving birth was always considered a “sakana” or a danger; that is a rather compelling reason that it was men who are commanded by Jewish Law to have children; women just agreed to help them do so (how nice of us!). And then of course there is this – people were not professionals and quality of life was just so different it is impossible for us to imagine the cultural, historical and social context of the backdrop against which these practices were implemented.

That being said, contracts, word of mouth, designation of status of people, stating use for things, and so much else were very much part of everyday life and it is the most basic of principles regarding these elements that informed the development of so many practices in so many categories. Within this context, laws and practices of marriage and divorce were based on what we might call today in modern legal terms “contract law.” Feelings, desires of one person in terms of charting out their destiny and fulfilling one’s dreams – so greatly encouraged today in many parts of our reality – just did not happen at this time generally.

As we continue in the same text, we learn a few lines later as follows:

“If a man marries one of two sisters and got mixed up and does not know which one he set out to marry, he must give a bill of divorce to both of them.”

Really? How can one be so UNINTENTIONAL about whom one marries? Yes, that may feel foreign to us today (though again not necessarily in all parts of the world as we know it) but marriage was one of the things one did as one journeyed through life, without the intentionality we would hope is attached to it today. Remember that people did not date for a few years or meet in college, but rather were matched for a variety of reasons as explained above.

Back to what I like and find so remarkable about this discussion. Within this extremely foreign context with its seemingly questionable practices, which were part of society at the time, great pains are taken to insure that injustices are not committed within the parameters of these practices, as they existed. Men are not to engage in these arrangements without thought, women are not to be considered unworthy and not respected, women are not to be left in unquestionable situations as to whether or not they are married, there are great pains to insure that children are not born without proper and known lineage and so on. Marriages and divorces are to be undertaken with intention and to be done in a respectable way.

Again, for many of us today, there may be no way to make any of this respectable in our eyes. But, this is where our context is so important. If, in a world that was “not as evolved” as we think we are, these concerns are carefully, repeatedly and painstakingly constructed, de-constructed and re-constructed to insure proper practice, this is quite instructive. That alone would be a good practice for today.

If we were to ask ourselves these same questions: Are our practices accommodating the impact of the actual things we do to others? Are all parties to a contract or any arranged interaction respected and addressed in a way that is “for their sake” (a concept that is continually repeated as discussed in this blog previously regarding what is for the sake of the woman)? Are we acting intentionally and considering all of the different aspects of what we are doing in a way that is fair and just?

If we could just do that much, and, since we do think and believe our basic practices are so much more evolved, imagine what a world we could build together…. in the spirit of the very intentional development of the law of the Talmud.

Our Post- Holiday (Chag) Season of Taking Account of Ourselves, Women and the Rights of All

Note: I was in the middle of writing this when my daughter, Rachie, shared her brilliant Rosh HaShana Drash and felt it was so timely and well expressed, I bumped this to the next entry. Of course, it’s all related, so to continue Rachie’s thinking….

We in the Jewish community find ourselves in a very pensive and reflective time. At this juncture, we think endlessly about ourselves, our communities, the laws and practices that bind and define us as well as their actual intent that should inform how we practice them. Within the context of this consideration, I continue to learn Masechet Kiddushin from our vast lore of law and explanations of how they are to be observed known as our Talmud in the Jewish community. I continue to be amazed at the subtext that is anything but hidden in the discussion of the Rabbis – the Tannaim, the Amoraim, and for those of us who acknowledge them, the Sebaraiim. As they painstakingly meander through conflicting interests and try continually to be true to all elements of the scripted and commanded law, this is done with questions as much as answers, respect for differences as much as focusing on one’s own thinking and with concern for all members of the community, even when they may be, and they are at times, in disadvantaged positions. Clearly, as this is the last Tractate of the Order of Women in the Talmud, the various ways that women can maintain their own agency or get it back or not give it up will surely cause many to scratch their heads in wonder regarding why these are really even issues, often feeling antiquated and out of touch with our present reality. The present reality of those of us who live the life of privilege offered by some elements of our contemporary society, that is. However, when considering the time, the culture, the historical epoch of this text and just what life was like up to about 600 CE, I am continually struck that if we in today’s world – if our leaders – would work as painstakingly to insure fairness and proper application of the law as intended, we might not be in the mess we are.

There was a particular statement found on Kiddushin 40a within the context of a discussion about how good things are supposed to happen to good people and bad things are not, but are supposed to be reserved for bad people. You know, the age-old problem of theodicy – when bad things do indeed happen to good people. How do we square that? Basically we do not, it is the way of the world on many levels, and part of the reality of too many intersecting journeys of too many individuals as well as the reactions of our environment to so much, often things over which we may and should have control over. Within this discussion, there is mention of the “good righteous person.” Of course, immediately the question is raised, “Is there such a thing as a bad (or not good) righteous person?” So as it turns out, we are taught as follows: “Yes there is a ‘tzaddik tov’ -- a good righteous person and there is a ‘tzaddik she’eino tov’ - that is a righteous person that is not good. The one who is a righteous person in their dealings with God and with fellow human beings is a good righteous person; the person who is righteous in their dealings with God and not with their fellow human beings and other aspects of our world is a righteous person who is not good.” That is, piety that is only God directed and not shared and distributed as good acts with and for others is NOT the preferred path in Jewish law.

A foundational teaching of Jewish Law is that it is actually through our treatment of each other and in our negotiating with those different than we are that we are to find our true character – be it good or not so good. I am often validated by my Muslim and Christian friends that my suspicion that this is true for them as well, given my text study of their sources (which is clearly not anywhere as extensive as my learning of Jewish sources) is accurate. God wants the same from all of us – to learn from and with each other and in so doing to discern the many ways that God, whatever one calls The Divine One, is present in our lives in every moment, every place and every one with whom we interact.

Are there inequities and more needed balance in the actual position of women in this society from our past of which our Talmud speaks? Of course there are – as there are for children, for those with various differences (that is disabilities in many cases), those of different social status and strata, and so on. It would be dishonest to say otherwise. However, what is fascinating to me is the recognition of these inequities in Jewish law and not only a willingness but a requirement to address them – not always to the satisfaction of all, but again, if we could only reach such a level of concern for others in our world today as a collective, we would be so much better off. Women who live in poverty and who are abused, children who are malnourished, those with physical, emotional or mental challenges who are ignored and others with such stations in life should not be cast aside and there is NOTHING in Jewish Law that allows, justifies, or in any way excuses such inhumane or ungodly treatment.

Rachie was definitely on to something so important when she decided that others in her community could check the Eruv (that boundary string that allows enhanced celebration and observance of Shabbat) while she would use that time to help a Sanctuary family, who needed human interaction as well as resources and basic necessities. My daughter Talie who is working with underserved populations patiently and with respect and honor for all those who need her physician hands, mind and soul for healing is living these words of Torah and Jewish Law. The many people who daily have to make decisions whether to continue their comfortable patterns of prayer and service to God but do not touch those who need to be touch or interact with those who just want to be noticed need to step back and truly look at the words we say and learn and understand the action they are meant to lead us to.

When one looks at the many words of this past season of liturgy in the Jewish faith, there is so much talk about what we need to do better to get closer to God and to live the life that God wants for us to live. For those of us who do not feel that The Holy One, whatever we call God, is not as imminent in our lives, let us take up the charge that we can find proof or at least important indication and validation of God’s existence in the care and concern of other human beings. Let us be those human beings.

Just as we learn in the Talmud that women are to be able to have agency in their decisions, though not all of the voices in the Talmud agree, the arguments that this should be so are compelling and honor the station of women in life. Just as we are taught that we are not to disadvantage another by our actions, let us consider what that means in the practicality of everyday life. Just as respect for individuals and society are valued and strongly considered in the distillation of practices that evolve from Torah standards, let us remember that at its best, that is precisely what our society asks of us.

In the Jewish community, there is often a feeling of “what now?” after this intense season. In fact, our next month which begins this coming Shabbat, Cheshvan -- is actually called Mar Cheshvan (poor little Chesvan without holidays and special observances). However, I think Cheshvan can absolutely be amazing if we take all that we have learned, all that we have prayed for and all that we have expressed as our hopes to God for a better world and work with our hands, our resources, our energy and our abilities to make it so.