Gratitude and Growth

I am writing this blog at a time where I have grave concerns for our country, for Israel and the rest of the world. I worry when our leaders forget that they are to represent what is in the best interest of all of the people to whom they are supposedly accountable and instead are more concerned about their individual fiefdoms. It used to be that we would speak of those countries who were led by individuals who did not think of the masses and be grateful that OUR country was not that country, and now…. I am worried, afraid, ashamed and so much else. That being said, I would like to think that contextually our expectations have evolved for many, hopefully the majority of us, and that we will be set back on a course of reason where we can talk through our differences with respect and honor, and not outshout those with whom we disagree. The very fact that this can be an expectation or even hope on any level represents growth – growth in what we hope for our fellow human beings, hope in what we ask of ourselves and hope in building a better and more secure world of cooperation and caring.

We don’t always see this growth in our involvements and actions, but sometimes if we just stop and think, we get to acknowledge with tremendous gratitude their presence. I am grateful that all of our children are doing things to make this planet and community of ours a better world. Our son Brian is working as a CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) for children at risk. Talie is working to make medicine a more caring practice. Rachie is working with the Jewish Community Relations Council in Boston on many social justice concerns, presently consumed with protecting people who have been in their community as contributing members who fear deportation at present. Our daughter, Yoella, is maintaining her ethical and moral standards and bringing them to the practice of law. Our inherited children through marriage are also amazing, working on Environmental Concerns (Jeremy), guiding Jewish students at Vassar through their faith and identity journeys (Liz) and finishing Rabbinical school while bringing grace and high ethical standards to communities with whom she has contact (Mimi).

We all share frustrations with what is going on in our world. Yet, here I am with seven members of the next generation each working to make things better – to bring us to a higher level of caring and compassion than people long ago dared to hope for. Additionally, we all surround ourselves with those who also have memories of better times and hopes for better futures. It’s so hard to watch the news every day – any news – as no matter which way you turn, it’s clear that too many people have lost that sense of all people being created in the image of God. Yet, we are living at a time when more people than ever are volunteering, taking initiatives, reaching out to others. That is growth. I would like to think that we do not need a catastrophe to spur people on to good action, but in looking at the big picture, it is clear that more people are doing more things to help and share with others. That is clearly amazing growth.

Several weeks ago, I was walking home from synagogue on Shabbat and a woman beeped her horn and stopped the car. We chatted for a bit as we were both moms when our sons were going through school. I had not seen her son, one of our son Brian’s classmates for many years. There was this full-grown man sitting in the front seat and when Teddy said hi, I almost fell over. Of course, his mom remarked that I had a son that had grown up as well. The difference, I said, is that when you watch and see the day to day process, you don’t see the dramatic difference in the same way.

I would like to think that we can use this lesson – that we are watching situations evolve day to day. But if we step back and look at the level of social entrepenerialship in our world, if we consider the large numbers of relatively young adults who are doing so much and not just concerned with themselves, if we take notice of some of the very creative partnerships that are being build and if we stop to consider that so many who believe in the goodness and future of humanity are working so hard to protect it, we will indeed have gratitude for the growth that has occurred even if the Six O’Clock news does not document it.

Summertime and the Living is Easy… But I am depressed….

Yesterday, our wonderful daughter and son-in-law put their two also-wonderful eight-year-old daughters on the bus for overnight camp (YAY Camp Nesher!) for four weeks. Everyone is excited, the girls are well-fed, nicely clothed, loved, taken care of, safe and secure, have pretty new hair cuts, and so much else -- in short truly blessed. And we are grateful.

Then we watch the news and the horrible, unbelievable and terrifying conditions that children and families are in AT THE PRESENT TIME in THIS COUNTRY, the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA at our various borders and elsewhere. Children living without basic sanitation needs met, young people whose potential and dreams are so damaged at this point they may never be regained and people – of faith, fellow human beings, who are being treated as less than human by those claiming to be very much so, at least in their eyes.

Our eight-year old campers are the great-grandchildren and great-great grandchildren of the immigrant population in the various branches of our family, whose members came to this country to escape persecution, imminent danger, and almost certain death in many cases. Sound familiar? If, G-d forbid, the same criteria used today were to be in operation then, with all of the shortcomings and challenges of that time duly noted, NONE of our family would most likely be alive, certainly not living the lives we live.

Let’s understand what exactly that means. Doctors in our family who are serving medical needs including one of our daughters who is trying to make significant changes in palliative care would not be contributing to our country. A lawyer who is bringing reason, conscience and ethics to law would not be who she is. We have amazing family members trying to work to better the environment (because we happen to believe that this is indeed a need), trying to make horrible situations better by working with people who have lived in this country for many years and are now at risk because of new policies out of Washington not at all addressing the inhumanity and horrors that are created as a direct result, educators teaching lessons of caring and compassion along with texts and religious teachings, and so many others. Our generation and our children’s generation IN OUR FAMILY and their hopes and dreams have not been destroyed, but we are acutely aware that in other families NOT UNLIKE OURS this is NOT the case.

There is now work afoot to get synagogues and other faith communities to collect and distribute packages to children whose lives have been destroyed, in one community in which one of our daughters live, she is actively involved in PIKUACH NEFESH, the Jewish teaching of saving souls and trying to restore the dignity of life to those from whom it has been ripped away by policies in this country. In my own Interfaith efforts, we are extremely aware of what is threatening all of us, and I am truly honored and awed to work alongside wonderful people of all faiths and join our hands, sit together, in our various religious garb and with our shared values and try to restore humanity and caring in any way we can.

It is so important that those of us who are comfortable, well-fed, nicely-clothed, loved, safe and secure, able to pursue our dreams and aspirations CARE ABOUT and WORK TO ALLEVIATE the pain of those who cannot. It is only through these efforts where “citizens will prevail where governments have failed” that we can find any comfort and feel that we are not oblivious to the pain and the sorrow that surrounds us on all sides.

I hope that all those in camp, swimming in pools, enjoying the lazy relaxing days of summer and working at careers and goals we are able to take pride in, vacationing, eating great barbequed food, and generally enjoying the comforts of a life we should never take for granted remember that there are those who are not so blessed. It is therefore our task to work on their behalf in whatever way we can. It is my prayer that those who are living presently in horrid conditions will soon be relieved of their pain and restored to the type of life our own previous generations took the same chance to assure that their future family members would have.