Another Cyber Siyyum: Masechet Moed Katan

Several days ago I completed my learning (this time around, as we all hope to return and learn more at a later date from all of the texts we explore and interact with) of Masechet Moed Katan. This ended up being particularly meaningful for me for very personal reasons.

Those of us who are Halachically observant (living according to Jewish law) are often asked if there are things that bother us about this system as it is articulated and in how it developed. Even as we look at where we are presently in the Jewish calendar, there are those who have issues with Purim, which we just celebrated with great merriment, due to the mass killing that is carried out at the end of the narrative by the Jews and its sometimes troubling message of destroying Amalek and who Amalek may be taken to be in various generations. Further, as we are presently learning Parshat Shemini (the third portion of Torah reading of the book of BaYikra/Leviticus) and read the narrative about Aaron’s sons who are killed for showing their love for G-d in an original and unscripted manner as well as laws of dietary restrictions that too many people do not understand, this quandary is clear and present.

I am reasonably sure that most, if not all religiously observant Jews must have some area of law that troubles them, usually connected to personal experiences, where perhaps, if I can be so bold, they feel let down by this system that dictates our lives. For me it has always been in the area of the laws of Avelut, or mourning. I remember many years ago, when I had just lost a pregnancy a bit more than mid-way into gestation, I did not listen to the rules about bed rest and went with my husband to a class given by an area Rabbi. I will always remember his reference to the teaching that “to mourn is public and can be dictated; to grieve is private and one has to do what is needed for themselves.” This always stuck with me and the more I engage in my learning of Talmud, the more I see that this kindness and compassion is clearly present.

As I have learned in Moed Katan, there is a great deal to be taught and learned about mourning and what we do when we lose someone in our lives. So one of the set of rules and regulations about mourning is that if you lose one of your primary relatives (parent, spouse, child, sibling and assorted associated others according to some of the voices in the Talmud and elsewhere), the seven days of staying at home to be consoled by others is canceled if the death occurs within a set period before a Yom Tov/Holiday. Further, if such a death occurs within a certain window, say before Yom Kippur and thus a set number of days before Sukkot which occurs five days later, then the Sheloshim – the thirty days of restrictive practices that the mourner observes is also cancelled. I just lived through this with the death of my mother on Shabbat Shuvah, the Shabbat immediately before Yom Kippur. When my dad died on Rosh Hodesh Elul, just five weeks before, we observed all of the various periods of restrictions, coming slowly out into full public life. It made sense. When my mom died, I had a hard time making sense out of the loss of these periods of time to share with others, to think and just adjust, especially having lost both parents in five weeks. I ended up doing most of my processing by myself and with one cousin with whom I am particularly close. It felt more solitary and at times that was challenging for me.

Enter my study of Moed Katan and the explanations. Why does the observance of these community celebrations trump the restrictive isolation of the mourner? Is this fair? As I continued to go through the arguments and the back and forth discussion so characteristic of the Talmud and the many voices it contains, I finally and slowly got it. The community comes to the mourner to console the one who is bereft of a loved one. However, the public festivals are important for all to follow and to rejoice together. The thinking is suggested that perhaps the mourner will actually be helped along in their process more by being part of the public than continuing their isolation while everyone else observes these special holidays. Before Sukkot, we had a lot of scheduled guests for all of our meals, as is always our practice. I had indicated to my husband, Ken, that I did not think I would feel up to it this time around and perhaps we should cancel all of our plans. He promised to do all of the work to make these meals happen if I could not do so and that it would be better for me to participate in these celebrations as I always do. I am always the planner and just did not want to have to disinvite people at the last minute if I could not handle being with people. Lo and behold, a mere eight days after burying my mom, people were in our home – lots of people. Yes, actually it was quite okay and I did feel better. I may very well have felt worse if I had been isolated from all of this community interaction.

The more I engage in my daily learning of Gemara (Talmud), the more I appreciate the principles that guide our lives and provide for a consistency that may (and often does) elude us when looking at various practices in isolation. I always teach that Halacha and life as informed by it is a giant jigsaw puzzle in which there is an interdependence and interfacing between the various pieces and in which the sum total is so much greater than the arithmetric sum of the parts. Here my own teaching was put to the test as I was a bit lost in the intersection of the coming of Sukkot after Yom Kippur, so close to my mom’s death, coming a mere 30 days after my dad could no longer stay in this world. But as I often teach, in driver’s education, you are taught that when the car skids, DO NOT turn against the direction of the skid, but into it and you have a better chance of a good result. I guess I sort of turned into the skid of Halacha and let it guide me, and it did! Thank you for the explanation, Moed Katan. I will return to learn from you again at some future point.

Who’s in your family?

I am truly one of those truly fortunate people who thank G-d every day for my amazing family. I get to live with my favorite people in the world and that is pretty cool. To the outside world who does not know us so well, we look like a close nuclear family – a dad and a mom, four children, two of whom are married and three cute little girls whom I call my daughter’s daughters, while my husband refers to them as grandchildren. (I do not use the G word!) We talk to each other all of the time, continue to make amazing family vacations happen, are so close to each other and genuinely love as well as like the people we each are. This is truly a blessing.

So how did this family come together? I will preface this part by sharing one of my very familiar quotes – “I think I am a really together person and how my life turned into a soap opera is so NOT my fault.” Those of you who kow me well have heard that one many times – I know. Here goes! Yoella, my eldest daughter is from my first marriage to her father. Our middle daughters, Rachie and Talie are identical twins and were the product of my second marriage to their father. They also have another sister and brother who are the children of their father from a previous marriage. Then, there is Ora, another parent figure in the family who is now the third ex-wife of their father and we have all kept her as part of our own family constellation. Ken and I married twenty-two years ago (our anniversary is actually in three days!) and Brian is our adopted son, brother to Yoella and Rachie and Talie. This was so confusing and head spinning to people, that Rachie, being the kind person she is, prepared a lovely flow chart explaining our family to everyone who needed to reference it on her dorm door in Israel. Eight and a half years ago, Yoella married her high school boyfriend, Jeremy, who has his own family tree to explain and now they have Neli, Neima and Adel. Rachie, our second married child, is with the love of her life, Liz. As we always tell Jeremy, he is definitely my favorite son-in-law; he now informs me that he does not feel there will be much competition.

This all resonates in a particularly humorous manner when we are out and about and people say, oh, you all look alike. Rachie and Brian look like Ken and Talie and Yoella look like me. Little do they know that this would not be due to genetics, not where Ken is concerned and certainly not where Brian is concerned. So we got it!!!!! This is our amazing, interconnected to other people, family!

Then the last week happened. Brian, who was adopted from Karelia, supposedly a type of territory of the FSR, though no one can quite pin down what the relationship is, was brought into our family close to nineteen years ago. At that time, we were told that there were no relatives who had been looking for him and we were given information regarding his birth mother’s name and the name of a brother and sister, who were aged 12 and 11 respectively. We knew that his brother and sister were actually raised by the grandmother and that the mother was out of the picture. That was it! He had no connections where he lived in The Childrens’ Home in Petrosovodsz and we would be his first family when he was 2 ½ years of age. Further, we were informed that we should never try to find out about his birth family because there was no way to get the information and that the members of that family would never be able to locate him.

Fast forward three months shy of nineteen years and what has changed remarkably in our world? SOCIAL MEDIA!!!! Lo and behold, Brian listed his identifying information on an adoption web site and within a few days a wonderful young lady from Spain named Caroline contacted him and asked if he wanted her help. We were just a bit skeptical given the many scams and dishonest things that do happen in the reality in which we live, but we took a leap of faith and Brian responded. We are truly grateful to Caroline, who we hope will forgive us for any hesitation in just accepting this lovely gift she was about to bestow upon us! Within another 36 hours, we had so much information about Brian’s birth family. Brian was nervous and overwhelmed; I was just really excited. Between finding out that Brian did in fact have a birth family that had been searching for him, specifically his birth sister, Zina on Saturday night and Tuesday night of this week, Brian and Zina became Facebook friends, chatted extensively on that medium, and Brian had pictures of Zina, her daughter, and his brother Dmitry. Zina had just joined Facebook about two months ago incidentally, so talk about timing! On Tuesday night, Brian and Zina skyped for over an hour with the help of Zina’s wonderful husband who was the only one who could speak and understand both Russian and English and could serve as translator. Brian introduced Zina to me, to Ken, to Yoella and Jeremy and the three girls and we also told her about Rachie and Talie. She was rather impressed (overwhelmed!) by our large family! It turns out that Zina did see Brian when he was four days old (and named originally Victor Alexandrovitch Chingin) and did try to find him on numerous occasions – but apparently regulations and protocol took over and she was not allowed to be in contact. And now here we were -- It was an amazing experience. Zina confirmed what I could see in the picture – Brian and his birth brother Dmitry look alike. Zina asked if Brian likes to draw. Why, because while Zina did not know that much about their birth mother, she knew she drew well. Brian draws beautifully, by the way. He appears to have real talent. It turns out that his birth family includes an uncle as well as the maternal grandmother that raised his birth siblings. And then there is this funny coincidence that no one could make up.

Zina’s birth date is September 11, 1987, the very same date of birth as Rachie and Talie! Funny enough, apparently, Rachie and Talie used to joke with people that they had a third sister (triplet) in the attic… Who knew? So, we have not even begun with the cousins and aunts and uncles in our family…. But I imagine, Rachie, it might be a really good idea to go and update that Family Tree Flow Chart some time soon!

I am often asked why I maintain and encourage maintaining all of the family connections we have. After all, don’t I have enough people to be concerned about and keep track of…. So, here is my answer. I know that Ora ADORES Rachie and Talie and I adore her for doing so. Yoella benefits from the love of her dad’s family and I love how everyone keeps in contact with all sides of each of these nuclear units. All of those aunts and uncles and cousins that are part of my children’s lives … I think it is wonderful to have so many people in your life who love you and whom you love. This is truly a gift that enriches the lives of all who benefit from it. And now, my dear Brian, you too, have a whole other family to include in your life. We hope you will share them with all of us and that one day we can move past Skype and actually meet your sister Zina, brother Dmitry and other family members. More blessings have just appeared in our lives! I am again so very grateful!

The Story of a Yom Iyyun - An Important Day of Study

Let me tell you the story of a Yom Iyyun – a day of study of Jewish texts and issues that just occurred this past Sunday in the Greater Philadelphia area. This is a story of how we work within the system to get people to talk about challenging topics. As you know, I have been extremely involved on many levels with ESHEL, the Orthodox consortium for LGBTQ Inclusion in our Orthodox Jewish community. Due to a generous grant, I am working on several initiatives with ESHEL, including building community models of Orthodox Jewish inclusion. One of those initiatives is to join forces with another colleague locally in our Greater Philadelphia area and shuls and communities that are able to become more welcoming, thus amplifying the Welcoming Shuls Project (WSP) presently a large focus of ESHEL. The goal is to insure that we keep our LGBTQ members in our Halachic communities and not have them feel, unfortunately with legitimate reasons, that there is no place for them. This is a matter of validation, acceptance, and most importantly, נפש פיקוח, the foundational Jewish dictum to save a life and protect the well being of all of our community members.

We have been here before, excluding members of our community. Before 1976 and the advent of PTACH, the acceptance of the responsibility to educate all of our children, including those with learning differences and a variety of disabilities was too often not observed. We hid our children who were not unencumbered for whatever reasons – ranging from shame to fear that this was some type of punishment to some thinly veiled understanding of their lack of inclusion in our Halachic world. Baruch HaShem (Thank G-d) this has mostly been resolved, though truth to be told we still have miles to go in this regard in too many of our schools and Jewish institutions in our Orthodox Jewish world.

Then there is the matter of our women. Halachically, there are different levels of being bound by obligation ( חיוב ) that result in legitimate differences between men and women in various areas of religious functioning, such as making up a minyan ( מנין ) – a prayer quorum and fulfilling certain roles on behalf of others. However, within these definitions and differentiations, there is NOT any permission granted for misogyny, which unfortunately has occurred. Women have been maligned, excluded, and relegated to the category of “other” increasingly in too many aspects of religious observance and public assembly. This is NOT the Halachic way, and here too in many Orthodox circles the conversation has accommodated this disconnect and there is advocacy in many (though clearly not all) circles for correcting this situation, adhering to Halacha while not amplifying additional restrictions that are coming from elsewhere.

In the trajectory of both of these narratives, we have observed that where there is an honest will, there is a Halachic way to include and embrace, to validate and protect. This IS our Halachic obligation. It is within this context and using these precedents that I would suggest we can honestly discuss the inclusion of our LGBTQ members; and this is precisely what we did this past Sunday.

Years ago, a colleague of mine who was Orthodox and gay was never able to come out of the closet and even within the protective shield of our friendship and my caring for her, she could not say the words that would validate her being – the way the God chose to make her. I knew she was in great pain and tried to validate her in every way possible. She and her partner were at our Shabbat table, we sat together in shul, and yet, she knew it just was not enough. Some years later, she was found dead in her apartment, apparently or possibly having taken her life. This should NOT be in a community that adheres to the value of protecting each and every life. And to be sure, we know for a fact that there are too many others!

So, we as Orthodox Jews must discuss how we are endangering our own community members through inflammatory rhetoric, mean-spirited exclusion, lack of education and learning, and most important, not adhering to the very Halachic principles we claim inform every aspect of our lives. This was the purpose of this particular Day of Study – to engage in this dialogue, to learn about Halachically legitimate approaches to how we address our community members, and to check our politics, our socially informed fears and personal prejudices at the door. G-d created all of us – women, left-handed people, visually impaired community members, hearing-impaired people, physically disabled individuals, those who are mentally and emotionally challenged, and yes, LGBTQ individuals the way that G-d chose to create us. Within the tomes of Halachic discourse, all of these categories, not to mention children, are often indicated as “except for’s” in various listings (e.g. hearing a Shofar, Torah reading, sitting in a Sukkah, offering sacrifices, hearing Megillat Esther, etc.) but then Chazal – our teachers of blessed memory—engage in thoughtful and often caring discourse about what such exclusion means and so often, initially excluded groups are brought back into the fold of the practice under discussion. So often there is honest and caring concern in these discussions of 1400 years and more ago regarding our various groupings that make up who we are collectively. Would it not be wonderful, not to mention, well within the parameters of honest Halachic discourse, to do the same today?

As more than a few Orthodox Rabbis and scholars have suggested, yes, there is an act that is forbidden. That does not lead to complete exclusion of 10 – 13% of our population, not does it even speak to the individuals who were born outside of the presumed binary sexuality or gender spectrum. In fact, Mishnah Bikkurim, chapter 4 specifically addresses how we as a community must acknowledge and facilitate the performing of מצוות - Mitzvot (obligated actions) of our hermaphrodites and androgynous community members, and let’s time that text at about 1800+ years ago. Then there are Midrashim, other texts that cite everyone is obligated to do various things, and so forth. OUR ROLE AS COMMUNITY is to include all of our members so that these obligations can be fulfilled, NOT TO EXCLUDE members of our community due to other prejudices and politics. This is NOT the Halachic way.

As one Rabbi explained to me in a very well articulated way, his shul follows the “Sephardic way.” All are welcome and included to the maximum level allowed by Halacha. For this Orthodox Rabbi, whom I interviewed for an ESHEL survey dedicated to this topic, of course, gay men would be given Aliyot, of course, they could doven (pray)from the Amud, of course people should sit on the side of the Mechitzah (divider between men and women) that reflects their identified gender, and of course no one is asking any questions – any more than we would ask about Shabbat observance, honest business dealings, or a myriad of other issues. This is what we are asking – no more and no less – just accept and embrace our children and our other family members, our friends and our colleagues.

We are taught that the Mitzvot are given to us so that we may LIVE by them and not die because of them. If every member of our Orthodox Jewish community (and any other faith communities for that matter) would follow this single dictate, we will successfully move in the right direction in our observance of Halacha, both collectively and individually. Let us do for our LGBTQ community members what we have already come to learn we are obligated to do for ALL community members, including women and those with various differences! Then we will properly take our place as a Light to the Nations ( לגוים אור ) and NOT before!

So many Orthodox Rabbinic families have LGBTQ members and others have spoken out beautifully about this issue. For one example, read the following:

http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-news-and-politics/197148/adina-bar-shalom

If you want to hear more about ESHEL, the Welcoming Shuls Project or have a Day of Study in your community, contact me at shulisrose@aol.com

When Did We Lose our Sense of Reason?

I live in the city that goes by the moniker of “City of Brotherly Love and Sisterly Affection.” I live in a country that is touted as being “One Nation under God.” I am fiercely committed to Israel, which daily tries to figure out how to simultaneously be a Jewish State and a democracy, validating and embracing all of its citizens in as inclusive a manner as possible. My family and I are part of the world of LGBTQ community members generally and in the Jewish world specifically as well. Clearly, acceptance and inclusion are at the heart of this community, as it needs to be and should be.

Yet, in Israel I have to watch the antics of the Hilltop Youth and other extremists and radicalists who do not believe in dialoguing and negotiating and in listening to the other, not following more Jewish dictates than I can count; but would rather destroy and destruct in the name of whatever they claim is their right. In the United States I watch a battle that pits citizens against citizens and threatens to compromise the ability of the Supreme Court to act on behalf of the citizenry in whom it is invested. And then there is the Creating Change fiasco, where Israeli organizations that work for LGBTQ inclusion were maligned, protested against, thrown out of programming and the resulting bad feelings all around continue to be palpable. I myself have been part of LGBTQ groupings as an ally for decades and there have definitely been instances where as an Orthodox Jew who is a long term ally (before anyone even used the term) and now a parent of my wonderful children, I was the subject of assumptions, prejudice and even, hatred. These moments and incidents are so sad and disheartening. At present, I am working for inclusion of LGBTQ Jews in the Orthodox community but another element of this work is to work towards acceptance of LGBTQ Jews who are Orthodox in the general Jewish and general LGBTQ community.

I am greatly concerned. There are so many battles that have been hard fought, so many alliances that need to be protected and amplified, and in the middle of this, there is too much contention and a lack of willingness to compromise and work cooperatively. When and how did this happen and why is this dynamic so pervasive in different aspects of our reality? When did radicalism and extremism become the preferred way to be regardless of what one believes, whether one is a conservative or liberal, Orthodox Jew or Secular Humanist? This is simply NOT what we are taught in our constitution, in our Holy Writ, or by the example of our past generations. Too many of us are just shaking our heads trying to figure out what has gone so terribly wrong in the past twenty to thirty years. Too many times, there are incidents such as the Creating Change situation (Here is one of several articles on this https://electronicintifada.net/blogs/ali-abunimah/protest-shuts-down-israel-lobby-group-chicago-lgbtq-conference ) or the angry outbursts we have seen increasingly throughout our world that are disruptive of the efforts of those of us who work so hard to build bridges and to join hands for shared causes.

We all know the dynamic of the left moving further to the left and the right moving further to the right, but what about those of us in the reasonable middle who do believe in talking, negotiating, and working with each other to make our world a better place? How do we insure that what we have held so dear for so long is not destroyed? Thinking of the many cooperative efforts between Israelis and Palestinians where there is meaningful dialogue and caring conversations; the interfaith efforts that bring all people of faith to a place where we reconfirm that there is so much more that unites us than anything that divides us; the relationships that have developed between children and grandchildren of victims and perpetrators of horrible and destructive chapters of history such as the Holocaust, I often have great reason for hope. Then I try to listen to Presidential debates. Really? When did we forget how to speak with each other?

Justice Antonin Scalia died less than a week ago. So many stories have come out about friendships and respect across political, ideological and many other lines and the high regard in which he was held and showed toward others. I remember the wonderful friendships past Presidents, Senators, and Congressmen speak of nostalgically regarding each other, including recent memories shared by Senator George Mitchell. Words like honest, respectful, caring and intelligent are often used by this generation of leaders when they speak of their peers. What words will we hear as retrospectives from what we are witnessing today?

In our lives today where too many people have forgotten the value of dialogue, that none of us knows everything and has so much to learn from each other and that respect and regard is one of the most powerful things that make us uniquely human, I suspect we will continue to be subjected to name calling and immaturity on the part of Presidential hopefuls, groups that work so hard to make our world a better place being thrown out of spaces in which they belong and sadly, a loss of the sense of human dignity and reason we are all enjoined to share with each other as part of our world community. That makes me sad!

The Continuing Quandary of Identity: What I Learned in Puerto Rico

My husband, Ken and I just returned from a wonderful restful vacation in Puerto Rico. In almost twenty-two years of marriage, this was our first actual extended vacation not connected to work obligations, not inclusive of our amazing family, or Israel. This was just the two of us, no agenda, no one else to think about when making plans, really just to be relaxing and restful – away from responsibilities, work, the many concerns that keep us busy and happy in our lives.

That being said, I never get a vacation from me -- my thoughts, my big questions, and my analysis of the world! As my mom always said, you can’t run away from you because you take you with you! So true!

So given that my work and my life professionally as well as the way I am wired to think is always so wrapped up with identity and how that complex configuration of all that we are frames our lives contextually, why should this be any different! There we were for eight days in beautiful Puerto Rico with its vibrant colors, amazing nature, warm temperatures (though for my part, you can have the humidity – I am not a fan!), restful pace and of course… the Puerto Ricans. The people and their relationship to their entity of which they are part, their cherished religious roots and identity, developed art forms, and everything else were truly fascinating to me. So what is Puerto Rico and how do its citizens (?) relate to it and to the United States? This, I found is complicated, filled with conflicts and compromises and once again instructive for all of us in terms of our own identities with their inherent complications and questions, some of which just do not get resolved.

We learned that there is a governor of Puerto Rico that basically stands alone with a large infrastructure in Puerto Rico, connected to the United States in some sort of way, but not really so much. There are three political parties – those who want for Puerto Rico to become the 51st state of the United States, those who wish for things to stay the same – namely unresolved about what it means to be a “territory,” and those who want Puerto Rico to claim its independence as a separate country or republic. Puerto Ricans vote in primary elections for the President of the United States but NOT in the general elections. Puerto Ricans do not pay federal taxes but do get hit with heavy taxes on what they import, which includes just about everything as manufacturing is not part of the Puerto Rican landscape generally. The history of Puerto Rico is fascinating, with many hands and countries in the mix. The three flags that grace El Morro, the historical lookout point at the tip of Old San Juan give credence to this mix, with the Puerto Rican flag, the one representing the United States and the one from the Spanish military of so long ago. There are many beautiful parks and protected lands under Federal (United States) supervision and control. Many people work for the United States government and as many as one third of the Puerto Ricans work somehow for their own republican government. When you ask a Puerto Rican where they are form, they simply reply, “I am from here.” You do not need a passport to travel from the United States to Puerto Rico or vice versa, though I was told that is about to change and that eventually, US citizens will need passports for all travel. So are they citizens of the United States or of Puerto Rico as a separate entity (territory or republic) or both? While this has NOT been resolved, there is a comfortable compromise in which mostly people accept the ambiguity of their existence in this respect and go about their daily lives. What an interesting lesson to be learned from this!

Ironically (to me at least) we were told that the year that this uncomfortable compromise was struck was 1948. My mind turned to other as-yet-unresolved issues of identity and territory that date back to that year: India and Pakistan and, of course, Israel and other areas around it (a la trans-Jordan understanding). To be sure people in Puerto Rico have their frustrations and questions and sense of lack of fairness. That being said, we were also told that generally this plays out in a relatively peaceful manner, in spite of the fact that people hold very strong feelings about what should be and is not yet the case. So to what is this attributed? Is it the pride of being part of Puerto Rico connected with its beauty, its pace of life, and its history as well as culture towards which there is much allegiance?

During many conversations, people just basically shrugged and smiled. There are problems to be sure with the educational system and the government is presently on the brink of financial ruin, again according to what we were told. Nonetheless, that Puerto Rican pride of all that it is came through loud and clear. I, for one, was quite impressed by it as well as the people who showed it

So in my mind of course, I wander to Israel – with its shared pivotal year of 1948 defining its present reality. Yes, there are so many unresolved issues. Yes, there are longstanding conflicts still operative. And needless to say, there are identity issues that are dizzying. That being said, there are so many wonderful efforts of which one can feel so proud while so many people continue to work together and forge paths of cooperation while living with the ambiguity indicative of their own context. And of course, the landscape, the history and all that is part of Israel is a great source of pride.

What is the point here? I love the statement “Know before whom you stand” which often appears in prominent places in many synagogues and shuls. We all stand before God with our various identity issues and challenges brought about as a result of those issues. The question is how do we do it -- with grace and pride; or with anger and contention? I saw a great deal of the former in Puerto Rico, I see so much of it in Israel (though sadly too many people totally miss it) and it is what I look for wherever I am. We all stand before God as God’s created beings; the trick is to remember to respect each other as such, no matter what challenges threaten that goal!

Operation Peace Flight, Roots, Dancing in Gaza, Palestinian/Israeli Circus of the Galilee, …. And so much more

Warning: This blog entry comes with “work” for you if you are really ready to learn so much about great initiatives in Israel that are constructive and involved hundreds of thousands of people and do not get enough press.

There are so many wonderful programs and shared projects in Israel that bring together Jews and Arabs, Israelis and Palestinians, people of all faiths – Christian, Jewish and Moslem – and all of these efforts are based on the notion that we share so much more than whatever divides us.

Recently a really good friend sent me the following piece, which I highly recommend. (Thank you MB!)

http://www.timesofisrael.com/maverick-educator-seeks-to-change-israeli-arab-world-from-within/

While this first piece is about education within the Arab sector to address a cultural dynamic within this particular society, it bodes well for addressing internal issues while showing that we can all find a moderate way to live well and bring out the best in all of us – men and women.

Once we figure that out, maybe, just maybe, we can all come together and widen our circles of friends, people who care and work together to build a better world.

Note this effort to address a known problem, that of Jewish extremists, known as Tag Machir (meaning “price tag” and the group of people who have taken on their own agenda of destroying Arab property, families, and individuals, who by the way, have also been created by God).

Tag Meir (meaning “light tag” in Hebrew) is a grass-roots organization founded in 2011 which works against racism in Israel. Tag Meir lead a solidarity trip to the West Bank Palestinian village of Douma Their chairman Gadi Gvaryahu said it was vital that Jews come to show respect to the family who was recently attacked. "It was important for us to come look in their eyes and say, 'This is the worst thing a person from our nation could do,'" Gvaryahu said. "To say that we're sorry, that we're shocked. It's not a mistake to come and meet people and ask forgiveness." Read more HERE.

Years ago, decades really, I was in the home of a Palestinian Moslem Muchtar (chief of his village) who said, “We are at war with ourselves. We have to figure that out before we can truly work on how to live peacefully with others.” I always thought that was one of the most astute and singularly wise statements I have ever heard and it most certainly applies to the Jewish population of Israel as well. Clearly we are struggling as our own Hilltop Youth and other extremist groups foil the honest and faith-based intentions and initiatives of so many who are trying to work together to build a better Israel (and Palestine) and ultimately a better world.

That being said, look at these many efforts that are so wonderful (and mind you, this is a tiny sampling)! I have shared some of them before, and there are new ones. Maybe as we begin this new year of 2016 it’s a good time to remind ourselves of the good in our world and in Israel specifically.

Dancing in Gaza brings together Israelis and Palestinians in learning ball room dancing. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/24/dancing-in-jaffa_n_5682927.html

Operation Peace Flight was organized by Barry Schiff as a joint flight between Israel and Jordan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3THMy7Ad_ck

Israeli Football League is a completely amateur league in which Israelis, Arabs, and people of all faiths participate. http://www.ifl.co.il/

Shorashim, a program co-founded by a Palestinian and a Jewish leader in the Gush bring together people from both communities to share food, discussion, stories and just to get to know each other better. http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/bridges/three.html

Friends of the Earth of the Middle East, also known as EdoPeace Middle East brings together people of the region across national and community lines to work for a better environment, truly practicing the notion that we need to work together to make a better world and sustain it as well. http://www.foeme.org/www/?module=home

MEJDI fosters understanding and cooperation between people in the regions through dual-narrative tours. https://interculturalinnovation.org/center-for-world-religions-diplomacy-and-conflict-resolution-mejdi/

Yad b’Yad Schools is now a system of six schools throughout Israel that brings together Arab and Israeli families, Jews, Christians and Moslems and includes families across the spectrum who want their children and the next generation to be part of a peaceful world by learning how to live in and build one. https://www.handinhandk12.org/

Makom BeGalil is a Israeli-Palestinian youth circus that builds relationships through the trust needed to successfully engage in and perform circus arts. http://eng.makom-bagalil.org.il/galileecircus/

Parent Circle Family Forum is a group of Palestinian and Israeli parents who come together to talk and share their stories of children and family members lost to violence. Their motto is “It won’t stop Until We Talk.” How true. http://www.theparentscircle.com/

This is only a tiny sampling of the many, many efforts and organizations that are presently active. For a yet small, but more expansive listing, go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arab-Israeli_peace_projects

These hundreds of programs and cooperative community efforts such as those in Haifa, Jerusalem, Be’er Sheva and elsewhere as well as the work that began so long ago in places that Ulpan Akiba and Givat Haviva are testimony to the constantly growing numbers of people and organizations that are supporting and enabling peaceful co-existence while we are affronted by the front pages of our newspapers and the top stories of our news reports that would have us believe otherwise. Whether involved in business, medical care, learning narratives, performing, singing, dancing, athletic teams, camps, schools and so much else, PEACEFUL CO-EXISTENCE is happening successfully and Israel is becoming a better place because of it. May all of these wonderful efforts continue to grow and be successful!

So what’s one more New Year among friends?

Appropriately enough, I guess, I am learning Masechet Rosh HaShanah in my daily Gemara learning. In the Jewish calendar there are four recognized new years, occurring in the months of Nisan, Elul, Tishrei and Shevat. In the discussions that appear in the Talmud it is suggested that there may be as much as six new years – for a variety of reasons including the official calendar of kings, for the fruits of the trees, for accounting of all that we have and for judgment for all that we are. Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur – clearly the most well known of the new years in the Jewish calendar is what is focused on in this aptly named section of Talmud, called after Rosh HaShanah, the beginning of the year of human accounting.

The Rabbis discuss how often we are called to account for what we do by God, our Creator. Various options are again presented (you know the joke, two Rabbis, three opinions… well, we see its origins in the Gemara!) with no less than the notion presented that actually we are called to account for our actions every minute of every day. It is known that Jewish communities come to God asking for forgiveness for our missteps on Yom Kippur, the Day of Judgment; but we would do well to remember that actually in the daily prayer that we say three times each day – the Amidah, we constantly ask God to forgive us for such slights we have committed in the various daily dealings of our lives. I actually feel so comforted that God is always listening to and attentive to our deeds and I guess that is a huge part of what it means to be a person of faith.

A Rabbi in our community shared that automatically it occurred to this community leader to wish people who were observing Christmas a Happy Erev Christmas! I love it… Jewish mindset and accepting and cherishing of others wrapped up in one heartfelt greeting. Another Rabbi indicated in the shul calendar that we have two Federal Holidays this week. How true! We as Americans are embraced by (or caught, depending on one’s predisposition) the joyful time of another faith community and culture that is so much a part of the country that accepts us all.

So what is my ritual at this time? I start practicing writing 2016 – I actually am so good at it this year, I mistakenly used 2016 on documents I have signed when it is still 2015. Oops! But more importantly, what will be my greeting to everyone I meet this week? Of course, it will be Happy New Year! Why not? I know that not all in our faith community of observant Jews agree with this. But I think it is indeed something to celebrate – that we live in this world as free people of faith, enjoying more and more inclusiveness on so many levels and the other fruits of democracy and the free-thinking world. Of course, we must also fully acknowledge and be accountable for the fact that this is clearly not the case for all citizens of the world. So here comes our prayers – to make us more caring, more embracing, and closer to the ideal people of faith we are all enjoined to be, whatever Higher Being we hold to be ours.

So what would the Rabbis in the pages of my Gemara learning think about that? One of the distinctions that is often made is between kings and the kingship of the Jewish nation and those of the nations of the world. So, let’s consider that for a moment. As our calendar turns from 2015 to 2016 this coming Thursday night, let us pray for ALL nations and people of faith of our world that this year will bring more understanding, less pain and conflict and more acceptance of the need for all of us to live together. Is that worthy of yet another New Year? I believe it is… so from my own mindset of Jewish values and thinking, I wish you all a heartfelt HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!