I just returned from Mars, so… Okay let’s try this again – how do we talk with each other when we disagree?

I just returned from a conference that was for academics who are invested in Multi-Faith Dialogue and Learning sponsored by the Hickey Center of Nazareth College under the able and gracious leadership of Dr. Muhammad Shafiq. We gathered from the United States, Canada, Indonesia, Pakistan, Israel/Palestine, Germany, Bangladesh, and other places as well. We are Muslims, Christians – including various strands of Catholics and Protestants, Jews, Hindus, and people of other faiths. We value our religious teachings, our texts and the foundational values of the religious scriptures we hold so dear. The topic of our discussions and learning this year was Religions and The (De)Legitimization of Violence.

It is always such a pleasure, relief and reason for hope in our fractured world when I can spend this type of dedicated time with people across lines of national, religious, ethnic and other types of identity where we can celebrate what we share and honor and respect where we differ. We do it so well and are often frustrated that this is not reflected in our world at large. You will not find any mention of this amazing group on the six o’clock news nor will you hear about their scholarship or share what they learn in the general press, because this group is focused on healing our world, not breaking its back further – and lets be honest, the media is not so interested! It is from this understanding of how different and special that this experience is that the title of this blog comes – one of my colleagues remarked “I feel like I am on Mars here.”

Last year at this conference, one of the speakers remarked that if we do not feel a bit uncomfortable at times, then we are not doing what we are supposed to do. Clearly there was some vexing in trying to understand those texts we all have in our scriptures that focus on survival of the group that adheres to it and statements regarding those that disagree. That being said, we all agreed, that NONE OF OUR SCRIPTURES validates violence or war or even disregard for the other just because we feel like it, or disapprove, or don’t like the way someone else believes.

We found several themes that were repeated regarding why these discussions are often thwarted, avoided or worse in our world and here are the main ideas that came from these interactions:

1. Too often there is the problem of using texts out of context. It is much easier to choose a phrase that validates one’s point of view than to take the time to study and learn its context and truly put the effort into grasping the fullness of its meaning and to the best of our ability, grapple with its actual intention.

2. There are many shades of gray in these discussions; every discussion involved the type of parsing and intentional interactions with the texts of the Scriptures of various groups that again, take time and patience as well as the understanding that this is not a matter of black or white but the many different ways we relate to the God to whom we hold ourselves accountable.

3. When we take the time to listen to each other deeply and ask questions of clarification instead of shouting down the other person who believes differently than we do with demeaning and dismissive language, we find that we often have the same challenges with our understanding of what God wants from us as well as the need to maintain the humility we as human beings with limitations must hold on to in trying to reach that level of comprehension. 4. We all come back to the point that we are all children of God, that The Creator God could have made us all the same but chose not to do so. We also agreed that we do not always understand God’s ways but try to discern God’s message by acting kindly and with care in our lives. This is foundational to all of us as people of faith.

In sharing and reaffirming these findings, we all agree that it is unjustified fear and insecurity as well as hubris and unchecked egos that create many of the problems that are identified in our world as religious differences and an inability to live together with other people of faith who may not believe just as we do. We cannot blame that on religion and certainly not on God, or whatever name we call The Holy One! By extending kindness to others, by putting our best selves out there and by teaching all around us to do the same, we can accomplish so much, without compromising our own belief systems. We as academic learners and teachers all agreed that doing so is as important as any text we can learn and distill for others, though our texts do indeed ask us to do just this! So here is my challenge and my question to each one of us – What are YOUR texts that you want to use to teach the essence of who you/we are as people of faith who believe in God?