The Way It Should and Can Be …As Imperfect As It Is

Ken and I returned from Israel a few weeks ago. We are there as often as possible and due to COVID, this has been the longest time not there in many, many years – 2 2/3 years. We were traveling throughout the country for a few weeks – Ashdod, Zichron Yaakov, Tzfat, Tiveria, Tel Aviv, Beerot Yitzchak, Ginot Shomron, Ma’ale Adumim and Yerushalayim, including the Old City. In all that time, we saw Jews of every religious appearance on the spectrum, Christians and Catholics, Muslims, Armenians, Arabs, Israelies, etc. and this was EVERYWHERE – at the Mamilla Mall, on the way to the Kotel, in the shuk, on the beach in Ashdod, in the many cities in which we spent time, in the museums that we went to – as we were interested in archeological work as a theme for this trip. There was PEACE and CALM, conversations amongst people obviously of different faith and cultural groupings --- in the interactions between everyone we saw, joy, sharing of spaces with respect AND everyone was holding onto their identity – as indicated in their dress, their language and their affect. This is the way it should be, the way it IS in most of Israel and unfortunately, the world is just not aware… and that hurts my heart.

Then I came home…. to the name calling, intolerance, “alternative facts,” and other harmful dynamics that have become a most normative part of daily life here in America. A candidate for governor of the state of Pennsylvania calling out his opponent for attending what he called a fancy privileged private prep school… which is a Jewish Day School at which the majority of students receive financial aid and is attended for reasons more akin to those that send families to, let’s say, Catholic schools as opposed to the fancy privileged prep schools. The entire Modern Orthodox community of which I am a part is trying to square how Yeshiva University states that it accepts and welcomes its LGBT students and then states that they cannot have a safe space for a club to gather, ultimately halting the good work of all clubs as a response to the uproar. Children should not see our television screens not because of violent shows or cartoons, but because of political advertisements that clearly cross the line of truth, appropriate messaging and so much else. And the list goes on….

I think I would rather be back in Israel. This is certainly not to say everything is perfect in Israel. Far from it. But so is the nature of the human being—we have free choice to accept or inflame each other; to work towards living together with respect, regard and humility or claim we are right and if one does not agree with us, its simple – they are wrong and deserve to be attacked because they are wrong. I am personally working to counteract this hatred and lack of understanding every day. When I am surrounded by my colleagues in the Multi-faith work we do together, I am heartened. When I watch those who are struggling to be included in their respective, because of gender diversity, sexuality, learning differences, physical or mental limitations, neurodiversity, or so many other reasons, I think of the missed opportunities of so much that we can and should be learning from these incredible souls. There is also the sadness that people are not considering that there are many ways to be.. and that ultimately, all of these differences are part of the design of humanity, which I believe, is intended by The Creator G-d.

This is what I observe daily – there is a profound difference between refusing to accept the other and struggling to figure out how we can live together in a way that maintains the integrity, well-being and safety of all. I see too much of the former in the United States at this point and more than is credited or acknowledged in too many public forums in Israel. There is an ongoing attempt to try to be and do better, though not always hitting the mark in this small country of so many different groupings. THE MAJORITY of the people that are in Israel are involved in various efforts one way or another to figure out how to live together. Israel is attempting to maintain its identity as both a democracy and a Jewish homeland, not an easy feat for so many reasons of which we are all aware. I feel this dynamic every time I am there and am hopeful, because the effort is ongoing and so very visible to anyone paying attention.

Then I come back to the United States and worry about this flailing democracy as it is now identified. How will our citizenry truly commit itself to and learn how to be a both/and culture instead of the either/or dynamic that presently exists and is tearing apart so much of what we have come to depend on in these United States of America. As one who is so grateful for the opportunity provided to the generation of immigrants in my own family by this country, I am hurt about how too much is running counter to this notion of providing such opportunity to people today. Personally, I am already exhausted. Maybe it’s time to go back to Israel and be part of a country that is trying so hard to reconcile so much of different histories, narratives, people’s perspectives and realities. I feel like the United States could learn a lot from the imperfect results but the ongoing efforts in Israel.