Watch Our Boys because THEY ARE ALL OUR BOYS

I am always looking for Israeli television series and movies to watch because I love the depth, the character study and the rawness of it all, devoid of a lot of the fancy tricks too often marring what should be wonderful and/or poignant stories in too much of our American television media. It also feeds into my ongoing connection to and love, as well as frustrations (and that is okay too), regarding Israel, so much a part of my life and that of our family and friends. So, I hesitated with this one, and I am watching it, not because my wonderful son-in-law (first cousin of Joseph Cedar, one of the series’ creators and producers) told me to or not because it was simply a series telling a horrible and difficult story (many of them are just too hard to watch, because I am so over-sensitized to violence, abuse, hatred, etc.) but because after doing my own research, I agreed with my son-in-law that this series deserves our sincere and dedicated attention.

Our Boys retells the horrific events of the Summer of 2014 in Israel-Palestine of the kidnapping and murders of three Israeli boys and then the kidnap and murder of a Palestinian boy, about which there were many narratives, but ultimately was identified as a revenge killing. We are all too aware that this region is fraught with so much history, claims, frustration, enmity, unresolved issues and so on. This story, which was brought to light by Israelis and Arabs cooperating to tell a difficult chapter of what has recently been part of this totality of so much, truly asks, no demands, that we look deeply inside our most inner conscience and beliefs to figure out what we do and why we do so. This is NOT a matter of one side being all right and one side being all wrong, but rather extremists, and even worse those who blindly follow them, who are fighting and becoming identified with ongoing battles while innocent lives are lost as collateral damage, which just depresses me to no end, while not addressing the real problems that continue to plague all.

In a world that seems increasingly immune to the harms of bullying, hurtful words, and ultimately the resulting escalation into physical harm and loss of life without any consideration for each other as part of our family of humankind, even sidestepping the foundational beliefs of our religious traditions to which many claim they adhere faithfully, I worry deeply for our present as well as our future. I am fascinated and heartened by a group in Israel, The Parents’ Circle, in which Palestinian and Israeli family members who are bereaved as a result of loss of life due to the enmity that often marks the region, come together to share their losses, to connect as people and hopefully to get a message out that this has to end, because there is only painful and irreparable loss in this battle, no victories. In the film, Our Boys, this is so evident. These four promising lives are ended and snuffed out due to a loss of a sense of humanity. As the old saying goes, if one is so foolish as to practice “an eye for an eye” literally, we will end up with a world of no sight. Perhaps, this is indeed what has happened to all of us on too many levels.

Where Do We Go Now? - a 2011 Lebanese film about Christian and Muslim members in a village and their war with each other also makes this point; in this instance, it is Christian and Muslims who are decimating each other’s communities and families without compassion and understanding of the basic and most important humanity we all are meant to share. While that was fiction but based on a profound truth (and indeed includes some humorous elements), Our Boys is relating real events, including actual documentary footage and interspersing story-telling, to give us the balance of how these horrific events led to an even larger conflict with the impact on individual lives, when too many lose their sense of the value of those lives. When this happens, we have lost everything – the lives snuffed out and the humanity of those who remain. This is what I mourn when I look around me.

This past week was Tisha B’Av and the end of the three weeks of mourning in the Jewish calendar where we consider both lost community institutions such as our Holy Temple, and more important the loss of humanity when causeless and senseless hatred causes the loss of lives. Today, as I write this, is Tu B’Av, a day of joy and happiness in the Jewish calendar, replete with stories of love and kindness (think of it as the Jewish version of a sort of Valentine’s Day). Yet, it is so hard to allow myself to be enveloped by this spirit of light and love when as an American as well as a Jew who is intimately connected to Israel, I feel the pain of too many shootings and battles reflecting too much hatred that ends with too much loss of life. How do we stop hurting and crying and walk away from the reality where too many of those alive have lost their humanity, and in so doing, cause the loss of lives of those who may have been able to contribute much to that humanity, insuring that they will no longer have the opportunity to do so?

Our Boys is entitled simply Boys in Arabic and The Boys in Hebrew, with its writers and creators explaining that we are to see these young lives as being all of our boys – our children – our future. Lives lost as collateral damage because of too much hatred and too little sensitivity to this wonderful gift of life and what we can accomplish with it. This film causes all of us to consider how we must find another way to negotiate our differences and figure out how to live with each other. Even in the making of the film, the bringing together of Israelis and Palestinians in the directors’ chairs, amongst the producers, and in bringing together the actors who recreate the painful events, there is a powerful lesson. If our actors, writers, producers, artists, parents who have all suffered loss and so many others can cross lines of faith, identify and history to work with each other for a shared purpose to enrich our lives, why can’t the rest of our communities of faith and belonging come together to build, to teach, to share pain, and to figure out how to live together and learn from each other, instead of engaging in mutual destruction?

May the memories of Mohammed Abu Khdeir, Eyal Yifrach, Gilad Shaar, and Naftali Fraenkel be for a blessing, and more important a reminder of how quickly promising and G-d created lives are lost due to causeless hatred. Wishes for a Shabbat/Sabbath/Day of Rest and Consideration, of peace, love, and thought and healing to all!