An Open Letter to Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, please join our circle of trauma survivors

Your words of recent as a result of your experience and that of so many more on January 6, 2021have been particularly poignant and searing. In following the developing story of our present Congress and Senate, I am excited, or at least hopeful, when I see more diversity and hear more voices in our lives, as I do regarding our faith communities, and the many institutions that connect us all. I, as our children all empathize with anyone oppressed, as we consistently fight for social justice, work towards understanding, participate in bringing people together to hear each other’s stories and learn our narratives, so that we can truly SEE and therefore care intentionally about each other. This is part of the imprint of my background as the child and part of subsequent generations of Russian immigrants who had to escape persecution and start a brand new life here in the United States. To be sure, there is trauma in our collective background as well, both from that background and the fact that my mom was the victim of a violent crime in her young years. From this pain, I have learned the critical importance of building important bridges of understanding instead of putting up walls. Hearing and SEEING each other and our truths is fundamental to who I am.

Within the context of my professional activities, I engage and interact with regional groups of Multi-Faith sharing and an international group of academic scholars who are people of faith. We are Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, and part of so many other faith communities as well. We know that we can celebrate what we share while showing respect and have regard for where we differ. We often find ourselves addressing the notion that victims and survivors of trauma in one group have a really hard time seeing and addressing that there are others who have experienced trauma as well and that we would do best to join in our circles of survivors and “thrivers” to work together --- in building circles of understanding. These collaborations are more necessary today than ever, it seems.

I work with and educate about such groups in many different venues. For example, there is a wonderful collective called Parents Circle-Families Forum (PCFF), which is a group of Palestinian and Israeli parents, ranging from the not so observant Muslims, Christians and Jews to those who are quite devout who meet regularly to support each other and share their hearts in trying to figure out how we can all TRULY SEE EACH OTHER and negotiate a place where all can meet, respecting our differences while supporting each other through losses. They, as I, wonder why we can’t do this to AVOID the loss of life instead of commiserate after the fact of such unimaginable loss and horrific trauma. I and members of my family are often in Israel, and I love being there with those who live in communities of co-existence, those learning Arabic and Hebrew in a program promoting understanding, families who are part of the Yad B’Yad bi-lingual school system, athletes playing in leagues including all faith communities and national identities, attending university together, and so on. This is the reality in Israel and many from Palestinian areas are included as well. While this country, like any other, is far from perfect, there are not just isolated but many peaceful co-existence initiatives to be proud of and model.

In my work with so many individuals and leaders of faith communities, those of us who are particularly religiously identified such as myself, as an Orthodox Jew, are of singular interest. We are too often the only ones from our own religiously observant communities in the room, but we believe in our presence there. I have found such joy in sharing these journeys with so many people I have come to love as friends and colleagues, as President of our large Multi-Faith Council – where I have brought people together from all faiths to stand in solidarity with those suffering at the hands of extremists that would like to destroy all of us, or in times of joy, to share elements of our respective faith and belief systems with each other, note how some of our traditional foods are so similar, learning our ethnic dances, sharing the texts and foundational beliefs of our respective lives, and so forth. My husband and I have taught the strength of our convictions and religion alongside our strong conviction that every person is created in the image of God and is to be honored as such. This has always been our focus.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of people in our religious Jewish world do not think particularly well of you nor of Ilhan Omar, even though as I stated, I love to see diversity in our government. This makes me sad, but I understand how it happens, unfortunately. There are many who will claim that the yelling and words of the “extreme left” are as bad and dangerous as the “extreme right.” I think we can all agree that given the events that have transpired recently, clearly this is just not so. That being said, I would ask that you and your colleagues consider your words and remember that they will be taken out of context and misused or abused by those who wish to do harm while justifying their own violent and inexcusable actions. Further, please remember that all of us – all faiths, all loyalties, all nationalities need to stand together in strength, with respect and regard for each other and not let the extreme fringes of our respective groups (and we all have them) pull us to positions that exclude others in ways we ourselves do not want to be excluded; and shout hurtful words at others in the way we do not want to have others do to us.

We MUST build bridges of understanding and compassion and care, so that we all can work together to overcome the destructive forces that do indeed try to divide and ultimately obliterate us. This cannot happen. Our respective faiths teach us this. Our various codes of honor and laws instruct us so. Our shared membership in the human family demands it. Go forth in strength, with conviction and a desire to learn more about those with whom you may differ but can build meaningful and fulfilling alliances. In this way, let us all turn trauma into the blessing of a shared coalition of healing.