Another Round of Lessons from the Talmud about Interaction and Relations with Others

I am presently studying Masechet Avodah Zarah. One might think given the name of the Tractate, it’s about all of the awful things that people who worship idols do. But that is absolutely not the subject as I have been studying this text (I am presently past the half way point). Quite the opposite! Much of the discussion is dedicated to how we interact with others respectfully and with honor while maintaining our own identity. The degree of interaction that is assumed and accommodated as well as structured is really quite remarkable and speaks to the point that inclusion and interaction is the desired way to go, not excessive exclusion and separation. As I listen to the vitriolic speech and watch the horrible way people are acting towards each other in our world today, it is clear to me that there is a clear delineation between what one is to do to protect and insure their identity and the need we have to be a respectful member of our larger world.

The discussions amongst the Rabbis in this Tractate are truly instructive with regard to not separating ourselves too much and not assuming the worst in other people, but rather practice the dictum of giving the other the benefit of the doubt, maintaining the core of one’s own identity and practice, and remember that all of us are here with a purpose and hopefully, a code of ethics. It is too easy to walk away from those who are different than we are, but this does not build society. Maintaining the balance of respect for the other, confidence in one self, and the conviction that we are all here to teach each other something may require work, but this is work that has rich rewards embedded in it on so many levels.

Frances Kissling is president of the Center for Health, Ethics and Social Policy. She was the president of Catholics for Choice from 1982 until 2007. In a conversation she had some time ago with Krista Tippett of “On Being,” she explains that we would all do well to have a bit of doubt about what we know to be certainly true within ourselves, while thinking about what we admire in the other. By engaging in this exercise of questioning ourselves and valuing others, we can truly build important bridges, with no need for walls that divide us, often due to unfounded fears.

In Avodah Zarah, there are discussions about what foods one can eat that are prepared by those who are not Jews and therefore not accountable to or observant of the dietary laws that charactize religious Jewish life, Kashrut. There are deliberations about when one can do business with those who are part of other peoples, yes including those engaging in idol worship. In all of these negotiations, there are clear lines of the importance of maintaining one’s identity and sanctity while not going overboard in separating oneself from those around us. There is an understanding that much is to be gained by interaction, and that it is to be done carefully and within certain established parameters. But, and this is what is most important, those parameters are precisely what allow us to interact with those around us.

Complex discussions of the involvement of idol worshippers in any aspect of preparation of food (known as Bishul Ackom) clearly show what is allowed and what is not, and more important, why. For example, there is a desire to maintain a bit of a distance in some instances due to worship practices of the other people that are not the same or not acceptable within a Jewish context. Fair enough. Other instances are given of boundaries to be set so that intermarriages do not happen. Also a fair concern.

Reasonable and appropriate concerns are valuable and needed. Interactions with our neighbors who are different than us in their faith communities, political beliefs, values and life styles are also valuable and needed. As I often say, we can clearly celebrate where we are similar to others, and we must also have respect and regard for where we differ. When we understand and have an appreciation for the complexity and intersection of all of these concerns, we will be able to be constructive members of society. When people are so sure of themselves, there is no room for doubt; and so convinced that the other has nothing to offer us, this is where we lose hope in our present situation and cannot see a vision for our future. That is NOT the message of the important Jewish texts that are so foundational to who we are and how we live.