What would our Rabbis from long ago think of how our society works today?

Last week I completed learning Tractate Avodah Zarah (for this time around, for those of us who understand how study of Gemara works). What just absolutely encouraged and fascinated me and caught my eye repeatedly is how the text and the teachers who are represented in it know that Jews will live amongst people who are not Jews and will have business dealings with them and daily contact. They will see each other on their days of holy and meaningful observance, they will be in the market with them and there will be ongoing interactions. There are many rules and dictates that are to govern those interactions, considering differences in worship, schedule of the week, nature of business conducted, matters of eating together, and so on. In other words, we do not learn that people who are different than us are horrible or harmful or otherwise supposed to be avoided or maligned. Rather, we interact with those around us with respect and regard, honoring our own standards and acknowledging that they have their own modes of practice and behavior as well.

What a critical and valuable lesson for us to take into serious consideration today. Sunday, I had the honor of seeing the work of a wonderful group of people with whom I have been involved come to fruition as we conducted an Interfaith program which is part of a year-long project of learning how to speak with someone different than yourself as well as, and more importantly, how to listen to and validate that person. We acknowledge, as did the Rabbis referenced in the discussions above, that we do live in an integrated community where we are all juggling the maintaining of our core identity with the acceptance and validation of others, in the hope that we will receive the same, and more importantly, because this is what the foundational principles upon which our texts are based teach us to do.

This is to me the most appropriate approach we are to take, especially for those of us who hold ourselves accountable to The One Who Created Us to inhabit and protect and guard this world, its resources and the many people who are part of our human family collective. Yet, we continue to be bombarded by the reporting and impact of incidents that do not honor this foundational truth of our existence and purpose for being here – to honor God and the many different peoples and resources God created. Coming together to learn about one another, share stories and interact in appropriate ways throughout our lives is constructive. It is healing. It allows us to accomplish many wonderful things. It is the way that I and many others think that God intended for this world and the lives lived in it.

I know many people who have stopped watching the news or reading newspapers. Why? Because, too much is subjectively sifted, histrionics have taken over, and we have forgotten how or just don’t want to listen any more. Too many would rather just shout out those who disagree with them, living in the myth of their own determined and exclusive truth, and in so doing close themselves off from the many wonderful people who are all around us, from whom we can learn and with whom we can have serious meaningful interactions or just take a walk and enjoy each other’s company. WE ARE TIRED!

I get up every morning and I see the URGENT messages that invade my inbox about the tragedy from the perspective of the left or the emergency and dangerous situation from the right. What I find dangerous and tragic is the complete break between those in our society who cannot come together for civil conversations. That is the name of the project in which Sunday’s program was a part – Civil Conversations. It is not a new phenomenon – I have participated in many iterations of this intentional bringing together of people who are not all the same for dialogue, to share some good cookies and to laugh a bit, cry a bit and hug each other in friendship and a feeling of belonging with each other through the years. What is sad to me is that for too many, WE HAVE FORGOTTEN again how to do this in too many corridors in our world.

The people who came together Sunday either know how to connect with another human being, whether you agree or disagree, in kindness and in empathic concern; or they were willing to learn some skill sets to widen their own worlds. The question we always ask is how to we get everyone who really needs to be at the table to come there and join us? Here is a surprise – they probably will not come. BUT, if those of us at the table can take our skill sets and practice kind words, careful listening and validation of the other in our daily lives, in our business dealings, while walking around our neighborhood and in every aspect of our lives, we will all be spreading random acts of kindness (remember that phrase?!) and words of caring to others.

Then we will not be forgetting the lessons of our past, but remembering that the reality of living together with others was accommodated and that there are even standards of how we do so meaningfully and intentionally…. And then perhaps we can focus more on the human beings we are supposed to be instead of shouting out and losing our connection to each other, while our identities and practices remain intact. I think the Rabbis of the Talmud would approve.