Loving Israel!

I LOVE ISRAEL! Really, I do! I think that Israel is in many ways the most amazing place in the world. We ask things of Israel, and Israel asks things of itself that no other country in the world would accept as viable requests. Look at what is going on at present with its needs for reasonable defense, addressing the aftermath of the Carmel devastation, the many issues in its own economy, and then the Sudanese and others who want refuge there, the illegal immigrants who want rights there, and on the list goes.

I think often that Israel is the neighborhood to which everyone that no one else wants in their community comes. And Israel is expected to be hospitable, support all who need support and provide whatever is asked of Israel, both from its own citizens as well as anyone else who voices such expectations. As I state in one of my lectures in a Graduate Level course I am teaching at Gratz College in Philadelphia:

Many feel that too much is asked from a nation so young and so small. Yet, that is irrelevant both to its critics and many of its supporters. If the Jewish story of Exodus from slavery and oppression is so archetypal and it is, and the State of Israel is the homeland for the people who are the focus of this story, then how can we and how can Israel NOT respond to such cries for help that come from within as well as to its borders? Clearly, we are aware of this thinking, both from a social justice point of view in our world today and from our Biblical roots in which we are adjoined 36 times in the text of the Torah to “not oppress or ignore the cry of the stranger” precisely because we were “strangers in the land of Egypt” and know fully well how such treatment felt.

So, how can Israel survive? It does and it even thrives as well… It is really all quite amazing. Israel IS AMAZING! That is not to say that I agree with every single thing that happens in Israel. That is also not to say that Israel is above and beyond reproach. No human or human institution in the world is! Clearly there are problems and issues that make us step back and say, “What are you thinking? What are you doing?” No one claims “foul play” when we do this for our own countries in which those of us outside of Israel live and SO MUCH has been written on exactly this very right and privilege of free speech. BUT, somehow we are expected to have undying and unconditional love for all that Israel does and never consider that anything done in Israel is not 100% correct by too many people.

We were taught in this past Parsha (Shmini) and the previous Parshiot HaShavuah the various types and details of the different types of sacrifices that we were to bring to G-d so long ago. While all of the details and points of differentiation are indicated regarding all of the different types of offerings, it is indicated that the Shelemim – the well being sacrifices – are supposed to represent our togetherness – our coming together as one unit that is well, after or aside from different agendas and senses of purpose that are completed. I love that message and think that it is highly instructive for us today. Can’t we all come together and agree that the well being of Israel is critically important and dear to our hear – so much so that it unifies us?

My daughter is presently living in Beer Sheva and going to Medical School there. We have family and friends all over the place. We ourselves are constantly in Israel. We want all or the people we love and all others safe and sound. That is our agenda and we acknowledge that others have different agendas and desires and needs regarding Israel. We want all Israelis, and yes, Palestinians, Druze, Bedouins, Arabs, Christians and all others within its borders to be able to depend on a safe and consistent environment. This is not too much to ask. Yet, it is much harder to achieve.

And when we note that there are those who are not accorded the same rights in our beloved Israel, whether they are those who have been converted to Judaism by legitimate means and are not accepted under newer and more narrow dictates, we ask, WHAT IS WRONG ISRAEL? When we note that rules are changed daily for those not accorded full rights as citizens we want to know HOW CAN ISRAEL DO BETTER? When we look at the need for further cooperation between different factions at historical and religious sites such as the Kotel HaMaaravi, I JUST SHAKE MY HEAD AT WHAT GOES ON IN ISRAEL. When the many groups and peoples who are working cooperatively to live together are not given their rightful place at the table of discussing the future of Israel, I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN ISRAEL.

BUT, MOST IMPORTANT, I AM DISAPPOINTED, HURT AND ASKING THESE QUESTIONS PRECISELY BECAUSE I LOVE ISRAEL SO MUCH! And when you love one THAT much, you want them to be the best they can be!

Breaking my teeth on Parshat Pekudei

I often say that after all of the great stories and events of Sefer Bereshit and the first half of Shemot, once you hit Parshat Terumah, I am honestly not all that interested, as embarrassing as it may be for me to admit this. Except for, of course, the story of the Egel HaMasecha (you know, the Golden Calf) which is definitely provocative, interesting and provides many teaching opportunities, but… Really, how many times do I have to be reminded of the inventory of the furnishings, materials, amounts, colors, dividers, carrying rods, and the myriad of other details regarding the various elements of the Mishkan? Personally, I am much more interested in the people stuff and all the BIG LESSONS that come from so much drama, and clearly there is plenty of THAT throughout the Tanach. That being said, I never thought of this topic and these chapters as being part of that category.

So, you know how they say that in cartoons and animated cute little renditions of stories, the pictures are for the kids and the words are for the adults. One of my students in my fabulous Twelfth Grade Tanach class, which I just love, introduced all of us to a great set of tellings of the Parshat HaShavuah in this lovely little easy format… cute pictures, a few special effects, and well chosen and SIMPLE words. And thanks must be offered to the creator of these wonderful little video clips of G-dcast, Dov Weinstein. This particular Parsha video can be found at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpvnmeCOrGo

So what did I learn? After basically glossing over all of the details of the Mishkan and its contents for several weeks (remember, that the last two Parshiot of Shemot are basically a repetition of earlier listings of all of the contents and furnishings of this special place), a statement caught me in this Parsha video. It is explained in this G-dcast production that we have to look at these Parshiot as evidence of the great love story between G-d and us. So the example that Mr. Weinstein used that really spoke to me was when a bride and a groom set up their first home or a couple, their dream home, and carefully pick out the tiling, the bedroom furnishings, the kitchen backsplash, the appliances, just the right color of paint…. Well you get the idea. So, this couple is more than happy to show all they know (and maybe even some wayward strangers walking by) their dream home and all of its carefully and LOVINGLY chosen contents.

This is the way it is with the MISHKAN, the special dwelling that brings G-d and the B’nai Yisrael together in their special and lovingly put together space. It is the chupah – that first special dwelling shared by G-d and the people of Israel. So, of course we want to go over the details again and again – exactly what is there, where everything is placed, how the space looks and so forth. This I get. I love to walk through our home in a quiet moment and look at each of the rooms that we have so carefully furnished and decorated, especially since I was and remain the decorator. THIS IS WHAT I AM SUPPOSED to feel when I read Parshat Pekudei and most of the text of the second half of Sefer Shemot.

Ironically enough, this same Shabbat of Parshat Pekudei, I decided that I have had enough of Kabbalat Shabbat deprivation and carted my son Brian along to a lovely Conservative synagogue in our community. (This is definitely one of those times that I feel that coincidences are simply G-d’s way of staying anonymous!) While I do very occasionally go to this particular synagogue (and am warmly welcomed, for which I am so grateful and appreciative) from time to time on Friday nights, I really had a need for a beautiful Kabbalat Shabbat this Friday night and got what I had come for. In addition, this was the first opportunity I had to spend any amount of time in the redone main sanctuary of this particular synagogue (Kabbalat Shabbat is usually in a smaller and also beautiful chapel) and was COMPLETELY TAKEN by the beauty of the new Aron and just the magnificent ATTENTION TO DETAIL that was obviously given to this important and meaningful makeover not so long ago.

Parshat Pekudei came to life for me, you might say, during this Kabbalat Shabbat, and now when I read it and remember Mr. Weinstein’s words about why we give such attention to the details of the Mishkan (and later to the Beit HaMikdash) I will indeed have a new and heightened level of appreciation for its meaning as emblematic of the loving relationship we have with G-d and how we want the home we share with
G-d to be completely representative of that loving relationship in every detailed way!

Are You My Community?

I am fairly sure we all remember this cute children’s book called “Are You My Mother?” This lovely little story explains that there is this young being, which both my friend and my son recall as being a duck, who is searching for his mother. He takes a stroll and comes across many members of the animal community, always asking “Are you my mother?” and alas, they are not. Children love this story and of course, in the happy ending, the adorable duckling finds his mommy. Great ending!

So sometimes, I feel like this duck. Let me explain. I am on the hunt always for my Jewish community. Of course, the entirety of the Jewish community is mine, I get that. But really, where is MY community? Are you my community, I am always asking. Where are the ritualistically observant (not critical) Shomrei Mitzvot (nice but okay, if not completely) spiritually connected Jewish communities committed to their moral imperative to work for the betterment of the world (definitely a deal breaker for me)? I always say, I belong here a little there a little but nowhere completely. I actually wrote about this in an earlier blog posting as a fence sitter by conviction. But to be really honest about it, sitting on fences hurts after a while and can be quite tiring. I feel like I am fighting battles on all sides at all times. And I am still searching…. Are you my community?

My son came home from shul rather upset recently. Here is what happened to the best of my knowledge. He was talking about the recent rockets that exploded in Be’er Sheva where Talie (his sister, our daughter) lives. Fortunately, no one was injured, though property was and one home-owner, who is planning a wedding for a child, remarked that she is worried that there could be a strike there again as it is now known that the rocket that was sent from Aza hit a residential site. After this, Israel retaliated as Israel must. As a result, a Palestinian woman and her child were killed. We were sad at the loss of innocent life in this situation as we always are – as Jews and as members of the human family (and being so is NOT being disloyal to Israel but rather affirming the very ethical premises on which such difficult decisions are made!). My son was expressing this sadness at the loss of life (are we not taught that all people are made BeTzelem Elokim and that we as Jews who respect all life are not to celebrate at the loss of ANY life?!) and people listening or just hearing the conversation peripherally near the Kiddush table basically shut him down, telling him he did not know what he was talking about. When he came home and expressed how unhappy he was, I explained that I simply do not talk about such things in our community (except with a chosen few) – which already tells you something – as I know most of the members of our shul community do not share my feelings about such things and I do not want to get into shouting matches as I do not feel that any purpose is served by doing so. In fact, I feel that this would be “placing a stumbling block before those who cannot see,” so to speak.

There is a great reading called The “Moshiach’s Hat” in which The Moshiach comes to earth and continually asks, as am I, “Are you my community?” He goes to one shul where people are wearing one type of Kipah and he has another and they say “You do not belong here.” He then puts on one type of Hassidic garb, goes to a Hassidic community and is told, “That is not the right coat. You do not belong here.” And on and on it goes…. Until finally he decides to leave earth and that there is no community that can answer his question, “Are you my community?”

How sad! We are all part of B’nai Yisrael and are part of a world wide community of B’nai Adam. Today, the well being of ALL of our communities is being threatened by extremists and those who want world wide domination based on their prototype of belief and how people should live. Within this context, we as Jews are admired for our Talmudic tradition, for the Rabbinic discourse that accompanies our process of figuring out how to live, and for the humility that comes with not knowing all of the answers.

And yet…. We have our community members who claim to KNOW all the answers to those questions that we can only respond to with approaches, and differentiated ones at that. This is how we have raised our children and how we act as informed, learning and practicing Jews. So, now we ask, “Are you my community?” Still waiting for our happy ending!

Behaving Like We Should or Like We Have To….

Today, I will begin with a story. It’s one of my favorite educational anecdotes from my storehouse of wonderful experiences teaching and learning with my students. Years ago, I was working in an elementary school and we were talking about the laws of warfare as found in Sefer Devarim. One insightful eight year old raises his hand and explains in an exasperated voice, “I don’t understand, we already learned ‘do not take a life, do not murder, do not kill’ in our study of Torah. Shouldn’t the text say ‘In case of war see above and do not get involved’?” A most provocative thought to be sure! Within a moment another child raises his hand and states as follows, “You see, there are two sets of laws in our Torah, one tells us how to behave when everyone else does, and the other tells us how to behave if no one else does and what we HAVE to do in such situations.” I was certainly happy with this answer and decided I would continue to use it in my own future discussions of such difficult situations and give credit to my eight year old second grader in doing so.

So, here we are watching with bated breath what is going on in Egypt. We are all concerned on so many levels and I am thinking of my student from so long ago and his wise understanding of Jewish law and our sources. I am also reminded of the painful disengagement from Aza/Gaza several years ago during which I was in Israel. I remember well the screaming, the name calling, the horrible feelings, and the contention amongst Israelis. But, most important, I also remember the falling into each others’ arms after it was all finished, the crying, the apologies, the coming back together in the face of such a difficult situation and the fact that no one was killed in the process. It was horrible and painful and this is not to be minimized, but through it all, I wonder if people intuitively understood what my student of so long ago taught me – that there are circumstances that require behaviors that are not the ideal, but in the end we come back or at least try to come back to that ideal as much as humanly possible given the reality of the difficult situations that confront us.

In this past week’s Parsha of Eleh Mishpatim, we read among many laws and codes of behavior, about how we are to engage in humane treatment of our enemy. In Chapter 23, verses 4 – 5, we read about returning our enemy’s property and that we are OBLIGATED to do this, regardless of how we FEEL about this person. As explained in the collaborative commentary found in Etz Chayim (p. 471),

“The Torah commands us neither to love nor to hate our enemy. Generally, the Torah commands behavior, not feelings. Its goal is justice, which is attainable – as opposed to loving everyone, which is an emotion-based attitude that cannot be commanded. We are to avoid malicious acts and treat everyone decently.”

There are many jokes that run as follows: “You know you are in Israel when…..” with one of the endings being something to the effect that “you scream and yell and call each other horrible names and then embrace and apologize.” I have seen this happen many times. Remember, we cannot command emotions – not what we feel towards others, nor the frustration that we feel within ourselves. That being said, we have a standard of behaviors that we are to show towards ALL PEOPLE – our friends (whom we are told in VaYikra to love as ourselves) and our enemies, towards whom we are to act in a decent and honorable way, as our text in Shemot as indicated above teaches.

I really do think that while we do not always meet the standard, we are aware of the standard of behavior enjoined here and do our best, within the parameters of our human weakness and emotions.

Irshaad Manji, author of The Trouble with Islam, explains in her book that she is frustrated that Islam does not have a processing of Koran text in the same way that is found in Jewish tradition and she states that she believes that this is why so many extremists take it upon themselves to look at the raw text and interpret it for themselves, allowing themselves to engage in and instigate BEHAVIORS that may not actually be the intent of the original text. She bemoans the lack of a check and balance system for engaging in such a personalization of religious behavior that she feels is not the case (not to the same degree at least) in Judaism. I love that we sometimes learn such important lessons by the reflections and thoughts of others not in our loop. I think she is correct.

This is not to say that in the Jewish community we always meet the standard of measurement set for us. CLEARLY WE DO NOT! However, we are often enough aware of what it is and often return to strive for it, are often aware of when we miss the mark, and are conflicted by its requirements within the reality of the world which we confront and challenges us in turn.

If all peoples in our world could attain this level of conscious accountability, maybe we would be dealing with a different world. In watching what is going on in Egypt today, I am many others are so pained. The complicity of sending thugs to cause violence and further compromise an already problematic uprising, and then once the problem is so severely exacerbated, making a show of police involvement and protection; looters taking advantage of a horrible chaotic situation; people losing their lives and being critically wounded…. All of this is so hard to absorb. I think back to the disengagement from Aza; the peaceful transition, including many nighttime show humorous takes on the famous election troubled in this country by “faulty chads” and other examples of negotiating a difficult situation in which we agree to disagree and try to figure out how to live together.

Is there any hope for such processing in Egypt? What is the standard to which all hold themselves accountable? How do people in this impossibly horrible situation behave when no one else does?

Liz Gilbert Explains Halacha and its Place in our Lives (sort of)

I love this life and the many voices that we can bring together in the course of a day, a week, a month … really any period of time – large or small, if we are just willing to hear and consider and learn from all of the voices. So, today was a snow day and I was reading my new favorite book on life, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love. To be sure, there is a lot of wisdom in this book. I found two chapters about G-d and faith I really want to share with some of my classes and friends. This woman gets God, and I think she did before she even realized it! That is often the case with seekers.

As Ramchal (my favorite medieval philosopher and Jewish teacher) says in so many ways, “the beginning of coming to know and understand G-d is when we realize that we will not fully know and understand G-d”…. and this is fine. Then I read about this one experience of her guru’s guru’s community in trying to create a meaningful prayer experience and broke out laughing. For all of us who live our life in the lane of Halacha – Jewish law, prayer that is a pattern we repeat daily or any sense of ongoing order of activities or involvements, there is a poignant lesson here.

I quote from Gilbert’s book:

“The Indians around here tell a cautionary fable about a great saint who was always surrounded in his Ashram by loyal devotees. For hours a day, the saint and his followers would meditate on God. The only problem was that the saint had a young cat, an annoying creature, who used to walk through the temple meowing and purring and bothering everyone during meditation. So the saint, in all his practical wisdom, commanded that the cat be tied to a pole outside for a few hours a day, only during meditation, so as to not disturb anyone. This became a habit – tying the cat to the pole and then meditating on God – but as years passed, the habit hardened into religious ritual. Nobody could meditate unless the cat was tied to the pole first. Then one day the cat died. The saint’s followers were panic-stricken. It was a major religious crisis – how could they meditate now without a cat to tie to a pole? How would they reach God? In their minds, the cat had become the means.” (Quoted from Eat Pray Love, p. 205)

So, can you figure out why I broke out laughing?! Because this is true, I HAVE LIVED IT. We who wash before eating bread and say the appropriate blessing (Bracha) know the joke (or urban legend or did it really happen?) about the woman who is standing in line to do Netilat Yadayim (ritual hand washing) and notes that many of the people take their rings off and put them between their lips or on the counter next to them as they wash. When it is her turn, she asks the person standing behind her if she can borrow her rings in order to wash.

Sometimes, my children or students are perplexed when someone claims “You did that wrong.” Now, to be sure sometimes this might be the case, but then I would submit this approach is not the way to go in trying to suggest the correct way of completing some ritual. It is embarrassing and we have already ascertained on numerous occasions that we are not to embarrass someone because the core of every human being is G-d and by embarrassing another human being we are also causing pain to G-d. Gentle correction is definitely the way to go. BUT, this is not always the case and sometimes the “corrected way” pronounced is no different than tying the cat to the pole.

There are questions that have been asked about how we insure that our friends and family members do enact the ritual practices we have committed to ourselves the “correct way.” However, every Rabbi and teacher for whom I have respect teaches that we are not to embarrass another and that if this is the result of such correction, than we must seek another way. We must remember that our practices are to elevate our beings, our souls and our lives, not to denigrate another person. Our practices are to be meaningful and uplifting, not repetitive and “habit hardened into religious ritual” whether or not it is a “legitimate” practice. Especially if we insist on praying only when the cat is tied to the pole!

Shabbat Shira: In Memoriam

Each week, I begin my studies with my high school Jewish Studies classes with a dedication to inspire us in our work through the coming days. I have used this practice from time to time and decided to reinstitute it after the events of the past few weeks. In the personal and public lives of my family and friends, we have been deeply touched and affected by two passings these past two weeks. The first occurred on Wednesday, December 29, 2011. A wonderful young woman who had been part of our lives for many years along with her family died after suffering from chronic illness all her life. She and her wonderful parents have been an inspiration to all who have met them. Then on Sunday, January 9, 2011 our Jewish world lost Debbie Friedman.

There are many words I could use to explain how incredible Rina (z’l) and her wonderful parents, Ari and Stacy Goldberg are and our feelings of respect, regard and love for them, but I will defer to these thoughtful words crafted by my daughter Rachie, who long with Talie (her twin sister) had the privilege of learning with and from Rina on an ongoing basis some years ago:

Around seven years ago, we met Rina through The Friendship Circle, a wonderful organization that facilitates friendship between children who have special needs and volunteers from their local communities. From the start of this relationship, Rina's innate ability to relate to anyone and everyone was very clear. Together we practiced reading Hebrew, learned various Jewish prayers and discussed other topics relating to Judaism. We would sing songs, make up games and together develop a routine that we all approved of. Toward the end of our sessions together, we would also make sure to discuss other pressing topics like the Philadelphia Eagles and American Idol. Her offerings on all of these subjects, along with many others, revealed a multi-dimensional knowledge and commitment beyond her eight/nine years. We became friends, equals that all had something to share and the capacity to learn.

That same desire to share that she exhibited all those years ago has progressively grown to include her dedication to her Caring Bridge community, the fulfillment of her goal to create cool clothing that also accommodates medical equipment, her career as a movie-maker and the genuine worldview that a positive attitude, not a difficult circumstance, can be the defining factor in anyone’s life, regardless of the challenges to be faced. She was, is and will continue to be present in all that she has given and all that she has taught to those lucky enough to have been a part of her life.

One memory that will endure for us is when we used to study the prayer, anim z'mirot ("I shall sing sweet songs" - a song sung in synagogue on Saturday morning) together, there was one line that stuck out, that we would tell Rina reminded us of her....
In Hebrew: sheet hamon, sheerai na alecha, V'RINATI tikrav eilecha. In English: I humbly place before You (God) this noise, my songs, so that my JOY will draw near to You (God).

This line will forever bring to mind all the joy that she has brought to us and others. She was, is and always will be a vessel of God's vision for a friendly, passionate and positive world. We will continue to live out the lessons she taught us and sing her songs so that Rina will continue to bring us (and so many others) closer to that which is Divine, whatever that may be for each of us.

We wish all peace, love and comfort in this difficult time,
Rachie and Talie

One person among many who was so important to Rina was the well known Jewish composer/singer Debbie Friedman. Debbie too suffered from many complex health challenges through many years. We were professional colleagues, part of an amazing community of Jewish educators who came together year after year more than three decades at the best Summer Camp for Jewish Educators called the Conference for Alternatives in Jewish Education (CAJE). Year after year, Debbie introduced us and took us through the history of the development of this new genre of Jewish American Music, for which she was at the forefront. As this musical phenomenon has grown and matured, Debbie shepherded it through its development. For this we are all eternally grateful to her. I found it supremely ironic and sad that Rina and Debbie left this world within days of each other. I suspect that they are walking through Shamayim arm in arm singing, joking, smiling – not held back by the physical challenges and limitations of their earthly bodies.

MiSheberach….. May their names be for a blessing always on this week of Shabbat Shira -- during which we read of the songs and music of women in our Torah service. May we all continue to sing the songs Debbie taught us and carry in our heart the positive messages of surviving and thriving that Rina, in her fifteen years on this earth exemplified every day. Shabbat Shalom to all.

So, Dr. Epstein, what do YOU do when New Year’s Eve comes out on Shabbat?

As we are all reacclimating to the school schedule now that winter vacation has become part of our past, I walked into my first class this past Monday – January 3, 2011 – to my wonderful group of ninth grade scholars with whom I have the privilege of learning Gemara. I always wonder exactly how to begin the business of getting back into school mode in a meaningful way, acknowledging that we have all had these different experiences, some of which may be instructive to us in “the real lane of life” in which we all live. I came armed with so much to contribute and fully intended to have others in the group share new lessons and observations as well. Almost immediately, several students were upset about a religious family that had their son’s Bar Mitzvah this past weekend and their friends and families were invited. They thought this was “rather rude” and not accepting of the needs and observances of the other members of the community and wanted to know what I thought of such families, and of course, what did I do on New Year’s Eve? So, we committed educators love these educable moments and here it was! With absolutely no sense or feeling of guilt about “not covering the curriculum,” I launched into a discussion about the particular juxtaposition of our identities as Americans and Jews when Shabbat has the nerve of interfering with New Year’s Eve. For my family and myself, Shabbat is Shabbat, regardless of the calendar and we plan accordingly. I will say we were a bit creative this year, as we do usually have a New Year’s Eve Party and just had a New Year Day’s Eve Party. We of religiously observant stock are perfectly familiar and comfortable with two day Yom Tovim, so why not? Although some other groups of people in the restaurant we decided to go to for our celebration looked at us a bit oddly, when we counted down and yelled “Happy New Year.” It is probably appropriate to point out at this point that on the other end of the spectrum of our lives, there is no recognition of anything secular amongst many members of the more right-wing Orthodox communities. So back to Shabbat and New Year’s Eve -- Now, this problem, of course, does happen every six years or so, depending on when leap years occur. I believe there is actually a longer reprieve until the next one due to two leap years in this cycle, so I think we have eleven years to figure out what to do next time we have this clash of calendar elements as Jews living in a larger secular world.

The discussion continued as I acknowledged that there were upset members of the group who felt that they had been slighted by having to decide between their New Year’s celebrations and attending this Bar Mitzvah weekend. I proceeded to explain that we all need to understand and appreciate that people will decide which option to exercise dependent on a number of factors. Specifically, in this case, in the Orthodox/Halachic communities we usually schedule a Bar Mitzvah according to the birth of the child and what Parsha was connected to that week and the HEBREW date of the child’s birth, not the date on our generally used secular calendar. Therefore, the family of the Bar Mitzvah was not being “rude,” but rather observing their minhag or custom. It was then up to those invited to make whatever decisions were appropriate for them and to appreciate that their friends wanted to include them in their celebration.

Once the information piece of the puzzle was in place, the broader discussion of pluralism and what it means to us and the challenges it presents came on the table. Members of the group who are not religiously/ritualistically observant (I always insist on precision of terms) of Shabbat did not understand why the rest of us do not just “skip one Shabbat” and acknowledge our part of the larger culture, observing as well as celebrating New Year’s Eve. After all, it is such an important event. I asked what was so important and basically the answer was “just because.” Okay, I accept that!

It was particularly interesting to “watch the eyeballs” of all in the group as we continued to try to understand the complicated issue of acknowledging that it is precisely in a pluralistic community that such discussions occur and such sharing of different solutions and choices occupy the same space. I suggested that we all remember that we are blessed to know each other, learn with each other and have each other in our lives. Decisions and compromises such as those necessitated by this situation will occur in these special shared spaces. I remind all of my students and everyone with whom I work and live that when we all agree to share space; I can guarantee that “100% of the people will not be 100% happy 100% of the time!” Forty five minutes later as the bell rang to signal the conclusion of the class, we all wished each other a Happy New Year and I gently reminded all that it is important to have respect for the different positions that members of the group take and to “see” each other accurately – that is to say, I don’t think anyone considered the Bar Mitzvah family “rude” at this point (success!) but now were confused as to why those that are Shabbat observant cannot make this one quite infrequent exception. Hmmmm, something to consider for the next time this happens in our calendar… and we have longer to ponder it this time! Happy New Year to all!