In the beginning of the Maftir portion this past Shabbat, we read as follows:
HaShem said to Moshe and Aharon in the Land of Egypt, “This month shall be for you the beginning of the months; it shall be for you the first of the months of the year.” (Shemot 12: 1 – 2)
It was especially poignant this year to read this on Shabbat because it was in fact a Shabbat Rosh Hodesh, but not just any Shabbat Rosh Hodesh, but Shabbat Rosh Hodesh Nisan. So why should we care? After all, with all the Pesah preparations and planning, who has time for this additional Jewish observance? WHO HAS TIME, you ask? Why, WE DO, as free people!!!!!
This commandment to observe not just Rosh Hodesh, but specifically ROSH HODESH NISSAN, and this year as SHABBAT HAHODESH, is the first mitzvah given by G-d to the nation of Israel as a free people, a collective of free individuals tied together by nationhood, by the shared experience of leaving Egypt and slavery behind under the watchful eye and outstretched arm of G-d. AND IT IS QUITE IMPORTANT!
Consider this --- a few months ago, we celebrated and observed Chanukah. With that holiday, we cherish the spirit and fortitude we as Jews have had to fight for and value our freedom. Antiochus and the oppressive Greek/Syrian entity that dictated so much for the lives of its Jews so long ago forbade three practices specifically, Brit Milah for our baby boys, the observance and celebration of Shabbat and the marking of our months through Rosh Hodesh. Why these three? Without a Brit Milah, one’s very identity is questioned as he cannot bear the mark of being a Jew and living as G-d commanded. Without Shabbat, we cannot celebrate and refresh ourselves as community and as individuals – the very essence of our weeks and lives was removed. And Rosh Hodesh – by marking our new moons and keeping track of our days and cycles of time, we were living as people who had a sense of control. Take that away, have someone else mark and define your time, and you lose a basic right of existence and freedom.
We as Jews are always conscious of the marking of time. Our days begin with sundown and the transition continues until the coming out of stars. We pray according to daily markers of time. We mark our weekly Shabbatot and keep track of our holidays and celebrations through our luni (some say loony) solar calendar. THIS CANNOT BE DONE WITHOUT FREEDOM. Any survivor of the Holocaust or of the days before Soviet Jews were able to leave the land of their oppression will tell you this is so.
We know that one of the worst forms of torture and inhumane treatment of fellow human beings is to take away their sense of time. This is used in torture of prisoners, and is the source of so much depression and disorientation for those who live in regions where time may not be so easily marked by simple things we all take for granted – sun rise and sun down.
Marking our time for us is a gift – OUR GIFT as free people who left the slavery and the beatings and the determination of our schedules by our oppressors in Egypt so long ago. Let us appreciate this gift and use it well. May the new year of time, beginning with Rosh Hodesh Nissan be one in which we use our gift of time purposefully, appreciatively and without taking it for granted.
HODESH NISAN TOV!!!!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
An Interesting Lesson from the Academy Awards
So, we are not such “religious” movie-goers, that is to say, we rarely go. Last year, when the Academy Awards were on, we realized that we had no right to watch the Awards as we had not been to a single movie all year and didn’t even know what they were and who was in them. So, instead, while the show was airing, we elected to go watch The King’s Speech, about which he had heard so much. We returned home in time to see it win the best actor award and the best picture award among others. We loved the movie and its message, so were happy to see we chose well. This year, we improved a bit. Prior to the start of the show in which Oscar is the star, we had seen three movies, the third of which we caught at a 4:30 p.m. showing Sunday, a few hours before the start of the big Hollywood bash in which the awards are distributed. So, we spent Sunday afternoon watching and thinking about The Artist. Once again, we picked not a, but THE winner.
Soon after the announcement of this as the Best Movie of the Year, it occurred to me that the Academy chose films for two years in a row about trying to find one’s voice! I really think there is an important lesson here for all of us as human beings, as well as for the Jewish individual and collective soul. By the way, another excellent film we saw, The Help, fits into this thematic rubric as well.
With the concentration of text study that is just part of my life and the ongoing conversations about those texts between my students and myself, my friends and colleagues and myself and my family members and myself, I am fully aware of how much words and speech are an ongoing part of my life. This is even before we get to the technology formats that further enable the spreading of words (like what you are reading right now!), the bombardment of so many words and sounds and so forth.
One of the scenes in The Artist that just struck me as so poignant (which is I believe the intention of all involved with the film) was when the sounds of everything surrounding this silent film star turned into this deafening and painful cacophony of sound. During this sequence, I was thinking about how I always love to be one of the first to be in the Netilat Yadayim line at our Shabbat and Yom Tov meals, simply because I love (really, believe it or not) the permission to just be quiet for a while with no one expecting any words to come out of my mouth. I am left with my thoughts and I just smile. For me, who REFUSES to stand in line for food at a buffet, this is a line I will get in first if possible!
I DO feel the overwhelming sounds of words and am often struck by the degree to which people think (or not) before those words are sent out into the airwaves that then resound with sound for all of us. We in the United States are certainly experiencing this now, for example, with all of the misspoken comments and other problems going on in certain political posturing of candidates for President in the upcoming elections.
We are all aware of how VERBAL bullying has taken a more prominent place in our lists of concerns as being as dangerous, or even more so, than physical bullying. There are campaigns to get all of us to THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK, as the age old adage goes. There are days of intentional silence in various circles, and so on.
And now Hollywood comes to teach us that finding our voice in a thoughtful, intentional and deliberate way might not be so easy for a variety of reasons in many different situations. Black “help” in the South found their voice through the writing project of one of the more fringe members of the community, The Artist found his voice in his tap dancing feet, and King George VI finally was able to find his voice when it was so needed at a critical time in his country’s (and world) history.
Maybe if we all had more challenges that would require us to work harder to find our voice, we would value it more and use it appropriately to build, not to destroy; to improve, not to make things worse; and to validate and include all, not insult and exclude them. Otherwise, our voices screaming and fighting too often sounds to me like a cacophony of sounds that can be painful and harmful.
Soon after the announcement of this as the Best Movie of the Year, it occurred to me that the Academy chose films for two years in a row about trying to find one’s voice! I really think there is an important lesson here for all of us as human beings, as well as for the Jewish individual and collective soul. By the way, another excellent film we saw, The Help, fits into this thematic rubric as well.
With the concentration of text study that is just part of my life and the ongoing conversations about those texts between my students and myself, my friends and colleagues and myself and my family members and myself, I am fully aware of how much words and speech are an ongoing part of my life. This is even before we get to the technology formats that further enable the spreading of words (like what you are reading right now!), the bombardment of so many words and sounds and so forth.
One of the scenes in The Artist that just struck me as so poignant (which is I believe the intention of all involved with the film) was when the sounds of everything surrounding this silent film star turned into this deafening and painful cacophony of sound. During this sequence, I was thinking about how I always love to be one of the first to be in the Netilat Yadayim line at our Shabbat and Yom Tov meals, simply because I love (really, believe it or not) the permission to just be quiet for a while with no one expecting any words to come out of my mouth. I am left with my thoughts and I just smile. For me, who REFUSES to stand in line for food at a buffet, this is a line I will get in first if possible!
I DO feel the overwhelming sounds of words and am often struck by the degree to which people think (or not) before those words are sent out into the airwaves that then resound with sound for all of us. We in the United States are certainly experiencing this now, for example, with all of the misspoken comments and other problems going on in certain political posturing of candidates for President in the upcoming elections.
We are all aware of how VERBAL bullying has taken a more prominent place in our lists of concerns as being as dangerous, or even more so, than physical bullying. There are campaigns to get all of us to THINK BEFORE WE SPEAK, as the age old adage goes. There are days of intentional silence in various circles, and so on.
And now Hollywood comes to teach us that finding our voice in a thoughtful, intentional and deliberate way might not be so easy for a variety of reasons in many different situations. Black “help” in the South found their voice through the writing project of one of the more fringe members of the community, The Artist found his voice in his tap dancing feet, and King George VI finally was able to find his voice when it was so needed at a critical time in his country’s (and world) history.
Maybe if we all had more challenges that would require us to work harder to find our voice, we would value it more and use it appropriately to build, not to destroy; to improve, not to make things worse; and to validate and include all, not insult and exclude them. Otherwise, our voices screaming and fighting too often sounds to me like a cacophony of sounds that can be painful and harmful.
Friday, February 24, 2012
On Being Excluded for Working for Inclusion
I often say and have written here before about the notion that I truly and humbly believe that as an observant Shomer Mitzvot Jew, I have a MORAL IMPERATIVE to work for the safety and inclusion of all members of our Jewish family and our human family. I personally think we all do but as I always, explain I can only make “I statements,” so this is the principle I will use. This is why I vex over such things as whom I should help with my admittedly limited Tzedakah dollars (see previous post) and how we need to work tirelessly to build bridges that join all sectors of our community. This is also why I am often “not fully acceptable” in my own religious community, which is an entirely different topic.
This is why I sit on our area’s Interfaith Dialogue Steering Committee, am a member of our JFCS Task Force of Inclusion of GLBTQ Members of our community, make a point to participate in group experiences whether or not I may agree with that group’s agenda, teach my children and students to accept and value all human beings as much as possible, write and publish curricular pieces on these topics, work with conflict resolution and inter-group dialogue, visit places and work with groups across both my comfort and courage zone and try to encourage others to do the same.
So several weeks ago, I was at at one of my inclusion focused group meetings and we were discussing the various groups that we are concerned about and represent as a collective. When my turn came to share, I spoke on behalf of the GLBTQ members of the Orthodox and more ritualistically observant part of the Jewish spectrum and tried to explain how often the issues for this part of our Jewish community are different and specific to the need to reconcile the dictates of Halacha and the texts that inform how we live with what we know about how people function and what our medical experts have taught us about sexual and gender identity.
I must admit that I was caught a bit by surprise when another individual at the table immediately responded by speaking rather forcibly and ultimately in a quite loud voice (to the point of being embarrassing) about how I am a hypocrite for being part of my community and how this community and I are racist and extremist and bigoted…. And on went the reaction. While this clearly had an impact on me (I often feel like I am going into a type of internal shock in these situations), I practiced my own advice which is to stay calm and reasonable in such situations. I responded in a soft voice, trying to reason. Immediately it was clear I could not offer any response so I simply said “I guess we will have to agree to disagree.” At this point, the individual shouted “No you are wrong! There is no agreement for anything here!” I shrugged, for what else could I do. The kind person sitting next to me (whom I really did not know) wrote me a quick note, asking if I was okay! Other looks of concern could be seen around the table, which were greatly appreciated.
One other member of the group picked up on the statement claiming agreement and the bashing of all things Orthodox (with no attempts to clarify or specify) was off and running. The facilitator of the discussion basically suggested moving on and so we did.
A few of my students were at this meeting (I brought them) and I could see they were shaken. I explained to them that I heard a wonderful statement recently that goes like this: We must have even more compassion for those who do not have compassion. How applicable this is to so many different sides of the table, so to speak.
As I was processing this experience and the stinging feeling that it produces, I remember about twelve years ago when I was attending one of the first showings of “Trembling Before G-d,” the seminal and groundbreaking film about Homosexuality in the Orthodox Jewish community and world. It was at Beit Ahavah, the area’s GLBTQ synagogue. In the course of the discussion, a woman stood up in the back of the room and began to really attack all people and all things Orthodox. She took the position that she did not understand how anyone could be part of such a horrible group, and that GLBTQ Jews should just be that and disassociate themselves from anything Orthodox. She went on for a few moments at which point the President of the Congregation looked at me helplessly and somewhat embarrassed (I had come with my daughter and a good friend as I had known Steve Greenberg who was associated with the film) and I indicated that I would respond. I basically stood up and explained that there are always those who will not accept others, however to make blanket statements that “All X (in this case, Orthodox people) are Y (horrible and unaccepting)” does not really serve any purpose. I explained that she was using the same type of blanket statements to malign us that others would use against her identified social group of acceptance, and for which they need to be called to task. “We are here with you in solidarity, acceptance and understanding. Are you really stating that you want us to leave the room?” I sat down and mostly all of those present applauded.
So, here I sit. I still encourage my students, my children, my friends, anyone I can to be part of as many different groupings as they can. We MUST be inclusive. We are taught in the details and big ideas of Halacha to be inclusive. Thirty six times in our Torah we are taught to accept all those amongst us and to NOT OPPRESS OR HARM anyone as a stranger in the way that we were treated in our years in Egypt. I will not stop going out on the limb and joining groups in which I may be one of the few, if not the only one representing this bridging together of Jewish observance and social/human acceptance and appreciation. I still believe it is my moral imperative to do so. It is in this conviction I take comfort when I am excluded because of my admittedly inclusive agenda.
This is why I sit on our area’s Interfaith Dialogue Steering Committee, am a member of our JFCS Task Force of Inclusion of GLBTQ Members of our community, make a point to participate in group experiences whether or not I may agree with that group’s agenda, teach my children and students to accept and value all human beings as much as possible, write and publish curricular pieces on these topics, work with conflict resolution and inter-group dialogue, visit places and work with groups across both my comfort and courage zone and try to encourage others to do the same.
So several weeks ago, I was at at one of my inclusion focused group meetings and we were discussing the various groups that we are concerned about and represent as a collective. When my turn came to share, I spoke on behalf of the GLBTQ members of the Orthodox and more ritualistically observant part of the Jewish spectrum and tried to explain how often the issues for this part of our Jewish community are different and specific to the need to reconcile the dictates of Halacha and the texts that inform how we live with what we know about how people function and what our medical experts have taught us about sexual and gender identity.
I must admit that I was caught a bit by surprise when another individual at the table immediately responded by speaking rather forcibly and ultimately in a quite loud voice (to the point of being embarrassing) about how I am a hypocrite for being part of my community and how this community and I are racist and extremist and bigoted…. And on went the reaction. While this clearly had an impact on me (I often feel like I am going into a type of internal shock in these situations), I practiced my own advice which is to stay calm and reasonable in such situations. I responded in a soft voice, trying to reason. Immediately it was clear I could not offer any response so I simply said “I guess we will have to agree to disagree.” At this point, the individual shouted “No you are wrong! There is no agreement for anything here!” I shrugged, for what else could I do. The kind person sitting next to me (whom I really did not know) wrote me a quick note, asking if I was okay! Other looks of concern could be seen around the table, which were greatly appreciated.
One other member of the group picked up on the statement claiming agreement and the bashing of all things Orthodox (with no attempts to clarify or specify) was off and running. The facilitator of the discussion basically suggested moving on and so we did.
A few of my students were at this meeting (I brought them) and I could see they were shaken. I explained to them that I heard a wonderful statement recently that goes like this: We must have even more compassion for those who do not have compassion. How applicable this is to so many different sides of the table, so to speak.
As I was processing this experience and the stinging feeling that it produces, I remember about twelve years ago when I was attending one of the first showings of “Trembling Before G-d,” the seminal and groundbreaking film about Homosexuality in the Orthodox Jewish community and world. It was at Beit Ahavah, the area’s GLBTQ synagogue. In the course of the discussion, a woman stood up in the back of the room and began to really attack all people and all things Orthodox. She took the position that she did not understand how anyone could be part of such a horrible group, and that GLBTQ Jews should just be that and disassociate themselves from anything Orthodox. She went on for a few moments at which point the President of the Congregation looked at me helplessly and somewhat embarrassed (I had come with my daughter and a good friend as I had known Steve Greenberg who was associated with the film) and I indicated that I would respond. I basically stood up and explained that there are always those who will not accept others, however to make blanket statements that “All X (in this case, Orthodox people) are Y (horrible and unaccepting)” does not really serve any purpose. I explained that she was using the same type of blanket statements to malign us that others would use against her identified social group of acceptance, and for which they need to be called to task. “We are here with you in solidarity, acceptance and understanding. Are you really stating that you want us to leave the room?” I sat down and mostly all of those present applauded.
So, here I sit. I still encourage my students, my children, my friends, anyone I can to be part of as many different groupings as they can. We MUST be inclusive. We are taught in the details and big ideas of Halacha to be inclusive. Thirty six times in our Torah we are taught to accept all those amongst us and to NOT OPPRESS OR HARM anyone as a stranger in the way that we were treated in our years in Egypt. I will not stop going out on the limb and joining groups in which I may be one of the few, if not the only one representing this bridging together of Jewish observance and social/human acceptance and appreciation. I still believe it is my moral imperative to do so. It is in this conviction I take comfort when I am excluded because of my admittedly inclusive agenda.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Finding the Balance between Helping Others and Asking that All Take Responsibility for Ourselves
Consider the following information that appears in an article entitled “The New Poverty” that recently appeared in The Jerusalem Report (January 16, 2012 issue):
… 53 percent of Arab families live under the poverty line…. In the Arab sector … the men work but the women often do not.
These comments are offered in an article explaining poverty in Israel today and how there are specific challenges to all of Israel. These comments refer to one population within the Israeli structure and elsewhere in the article it is commented that this
…skews the figures because if we could only count the rest of the population, our poverty level would put us [in a more normative economic situation when looking at the rest of the world]
So, let’s pause for a moment. Think honestly about how you feel regarding this information. Do you feel comfortable having a discussion about how we can help these families and what we can do to change the circumstances of this population? Does that discussion relate to your politics, to the notion that we should extend a hand to those less fortunate, or a combination of these elements and other values you hold dear?
Please note that I will not propose any answers here, I am merely asking questions. Those questions are about who has both the responsibility and ability to support themselves and what those of us who are working and in a position to help others should be asked and required to do for those who choose not to accept such responsibility, should this be and when this is the case.
After you have thought about this a bit…. And ONLY THEN, continue….
In this same article the following information appears, also as part of what “skews the figures” of poverty in Israel:
Among the Haredi population, 55 percent of families live under the poverty line…In the Haredi sector, women tend to work while the men do not…
So, let’s pause once again. How do you honestly feel about this information? Do you want to help and change the circumstances of this population? What are the factors that contribute to your answer? Is your approach here the same as or different from that in the situation above? What accounts for these similarities or differences?
Consider that there is almost identical information about these two populations, which are described in the article as follows:
[The] single poverty figure of 20 percent [for Israel in general] does not reflect the true complexity of the issue of combating poverty in Israel… The population can be divided into [three separate economic entities of] the ultra-Orthodox Haredi sector, the Arab sector, and the ‘rest,’ mostly secular Jews.
Further, about the “’rest,’ mostly secular Jews,” it is written:
In general, in families in which two members of the family work, the poverty rate is only 3 percent…
So, in the end, how sympathetic are we to “Israel’s poverty problem?” How are we supposed to respond to each of the two groups indicated as well as to the problem in general?
In my own family, my husband and I have both always worked. We have raised our children to work and take responsibility for them selves in our world. Our 28 year old daughter and her husband both work, and are also raising the most adorable and beautiful 16 month old twin girls. We have provided for our children based upon our being a two professional family. Years ago, when we were living in another community that was heavily populated by a very strong Orthodox (and economically challenged) presence, we were TOLD, yes TOLD that we were responsible for educating the other community children whose parents could not provide for them (including many who followed the model indicated here amongst the Haredi population in Israel). I must say I had a hard time with that notion.
No one loves to learn and grow more than I do. That being said, it has been a joy to take responsibility for our children, their education and the quality of life for all members of our wonderful family. Why should I feel responsible for those who DO NOT TRY to do the same? I am certainly not suggesting that this is always the case and clearly there are cases where we should (and we do) care and share with our resources with which G-d has blessed us. That being said, at what point do people get to take a “pass” on meeting their economic responsibility for their own families? Further, what circumstances should inspire me to “care and share” graciously with others? When is it appropriate to help others and when is it more appropriate to facilitate a process by which others take responsibility for themselves? I often refer to the Talmudic dictum of “When you give someone a fish they have dinner for the evening; when you teach someone to fish, they have dinner for life.” Maimonides teaches that the highest form of Tzedakah is helping someone find work.
To be sure, there are cultures where not all members of the community work. That being said, we are all aware of alterations and decisions we have ourselves made to accommodate changing economics and various needs in our daily lives. If others are able to do so and choose not to do so, is this the direction in which I should direct my Tzedakah dollars? I am just not all that sure.
… 53 percent of Arab families live under the poverty line…. In the Arab sector … the men work but the women often do not.
These comments are offered in an article explaining poverty in Israel today and how there are specific challenges to all of Israel. These comments refer to one population within the Israeli structure and elsewhere in the article it is commented that this
…skews the figures because if we could only count the rest of the population, our poverty level would put us [in a more normative economic situation when looking at the rest of the world]
So, let’s pause for a moment. Think honestly about how you feel regarding this information. Do you feel comfortable having a discussion about how we can help these families and what we can do to change the circumstances of this population? Does that discussion relate to your politics, to the notion that we should extend a hand to those less fortunate, or a combination of these elements and other values you hold dear?
Please note that I will not propose any answers here, I am merely asking questions. Those questions are about who has both the responsibility and ability to support themselves and what those of us who are working and in a position to help others should be asked and required to do for those who choose not to accept such responsibility, should this be and when this is the case.
After you have thought about this a bit…. And ONLY THEN, continue….
In this same article the following information appears, also as part of what “skews the figures” of poverty in Israel:
Among the Haredi population, 55 percent of families live under the poverty line…In the Haredi sector, women tend to work while the men do not…
So, let’s pause once again. How do you honestly feel about this information? Do you want to help and change the circumstances of this population? What are the factors that contribute to your answer? Is your approach here the same as or different from that in the situation above? What accounts for these similarities or differences?
Consider that there is almost identical information about these two populations, which are described in the article as follows:
[The] single poverty figure of 20 percent [for Israel in general] does not reflect the true complexity of the issue of combating poverty in Israel… The population can be divided into [three separate economic entities of] the ultra-Orthodox Haredi sector, the Arab sector, and the ‘rest,’ mostly secular Jews.
Further, about the “’rest,’ mostly secular Jews,” it is written:
In general, in families in which two members of the family work, the poverty rate is only 3 percent…
So, in the end, how sympathetic are we to “Israel’s poverty problem?” How are we supposed to respond to each of the two groups indicated as well as to the problem in general?
In my own family, my husband and I have both always worked. We have raised our children to work and take responsibility for them selves in our world. Our 28 year old daughter and her husband both work, and are also raising the most adorable and beautiful 16 month old twin girls. We have provided for our children based upon our being a two professional family. Years ago, when we were living in another community that was heavily populated by a very strong Orthodox (and economically challenged) presence, we were TOLD, yes TOLD that we were responsible for educating the other community children whose parents could not provide for them (including many who followed the model indicated here amongst the Haredi population in Israel). I must say I had a hard time with that notion.
No one loves to learn and grow more than I do. That being said, it has been a joy to take responsibility for our children, their education and the quality of life for all members of our wonderful family. Why should I feel responsible for those who DO NOT TRY to do the same? I am certainly not suggesting that this is always the case and clearly there are cases where we should (and we do) care and share with our resources with which G-d has blessed us. That being said, at what point do people get to take a “pass” on meeting their economic responsibility for their own families? Further, what circumstances should inspire me to “care and share” graciously with others? When is it appropriate to help others and when is it more appropriate to facilitate a process by which others take responsibility for themselves? I often refer to the Talmudic dictum of “When you give someone a fish they have dinner for the evening; when you teach someone to fish, they have dinner for life.” Maimonides teaches that the highest form of Tzedakah is helping someone find work.
To be sure, there are cultures where not all members of the community work. That being said, we are all aware of alterations and decisions we have ourselves made to accommodate changing economics and various needs in our daily lives. If others are able to do so and choose not to do so, is this the direction in which I should direct my Tzedakah dollars? I am just not all that sure.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Okay, A Bit More about the Women Issues and what we are really about…
So, as a continuation of my last blog post, many of these protests that were going on (and still are) in Israel are related to women. Now, I will begin this part of the discussion with the disclaimer that I AM NOT SUGGESTING (nor should anyone) that we are dealing with a situation, which even at its worst, that is anything like the totalitarian religious republics in the region or other spaces and places in history where women were considered property or not rightful human beings with their own rights. Clearly, this is NOT the case in Israel.
For one thing, among many others, this discussion is taking place IN THE OPEN – in the press, on the streets (e.g. note the recent flash mob in Beit Shemesh), in shuls on Shabbat in Divrei Torah, and in so many open forums. To be sure, I have never thought that the addition of histrionics and overstatements that color the discussion add anything to the serious consideration of matters of concern. That being said, my standing question still obtains, namely, whose standards are we worried about maintaining, ours or those of other groups, other cultures, other systems of belief and behavior?
Many are asking and are justifiably concerned about the fact that the situation (that is OUR situation!) has devolved to the point where a self-identified Haredi (one who is trembling with piety) man SPITS at an 8 year old child (not that it matters, but who is herself a member of the religiously defined community), who is then rightfully traumatized by such an action. What will this child, who is herself ritualistically observant and identified as a member of the religious community by any number of identifying markers, now think as she is walking down the street and sees such individuals? Did our larger community do her and others in her generation a gross injustice by consistently and tacitly accepting a devolving situation where the screaming and the diatribes thrown at each other detract from the real issue, namely that:
בצלם אלקים נברא כל אדם
In other words, EVERY HUMAN BEING, MALE AND FEMALE, has been created in the IMAGE OF G-D. Further, we are taught in Bereshit Rabbah, amongst so many other texts, that when we act in such a way as to embarrass another human being, we diminish G-d’s presence in that person, but more importantly, in ourselves for acting in such a misinformed manner. Put simply, one who disrespects and shows disregard for another human being is showing the same disrespect and disregard for G-d, who is the CREATOR of all beings CREATED. Maimonides teaches this as well repeatedly in his Mishneh Torah. I could go on and on citing texts, but this is not really the point.
When this most basic teaching is among other things, familiar to those of us who have some modicum of common sense, one must ask what has gone so terribly wrong that the very women and children that are supposed to be protected and valued by our society are subjected to such abuse and misuse of our Torah laws and way of life.
When teaching the Book of Joshua, I love to ask my students “What went wrong with poor Achan?” Besides being a question with meter and sounding quite pithy, it is really one that concerns the deepest part of our identity – that as a group, invested in each other and supportive of those around us, we must be following the Torah dictum of “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” or
ואהבת לרעך כמוך
So, when we do discuss WHAT WENT WRONG WITH POOR ACHAN, we arrive at the point of community responsibility – the notion that we are supposed to look out for each other and be concerned about each other. How could Achan have hidden the proscribed goods WITHOUT knowledge of his neighbors and those around him? It is for this reason, we are taught in some of our commentaries, that the entirety of the people of Israel was punished by a crushing blow in their next battle.
And here we are today. Who is looking out for our eight year old girls walking to their school appropriately dressed? Who is looking out for the female soldier that is GUARDING AND PROTECTING US when she sits on a bus? Who is looking out for women who want to shop (but cannot because their skirts are not long enough) in the same grocery store they have always shopped in before new neighbors moved into the next community over? Who is looking out for girls that are respectfully observing community standards yet cannot walk through certain neighborhoods without getting attacked?
Further, what are the perpetrators learning if no one is stopping them? What favors are being done for them if there is validation of their actions with no consequences? WHAT WENT WRONG WITH POOR ACHAN? And finally, as an entirely different but not unconnected issue, let us consider where the Tzedakah dollars of those of us who are attacked by those who decide “we are not frum enough” are potentially NOT GOING TO GO ANY LONGER? Now who suffers? This is not helping the situation either.
In Shemot 22: 20 – 23, we read this chilling text that teaches we MUST treat the GER – the stranger properly, for we were strangers in the land of Egypt and we know how it felt. We then read, as this text continues, not to ignore the cry of the widow or the orphan or G-d will make OUR OWN women and children orphans. This text keeps running through my head as I consider these painful and profoundly disappointing events in our present day lives. And I do wonder …. Who IS protecting the children and women vulnerable to such actions within their own community?
No, we are not as bad as other people and groupingss that do not live up to their standards. That being said, we are in need of a major taking of account (a CHESHBON HANEFESH) in terms of our own standards, because we have too many ACHANS running around hurting those we are to protect and value and cherish amongst our own, even an eight year old child who just wants to ride the bus to school!
For one thing, among many others, this discussion is taking place IN THE OPEN – in the press, on the streets (e.g. note the recent flash mob in Beit Shemesh), in shuls on Shabbat in Divrei Torah, and in so many open forums. To be sure, I have never thought that the addition of histrionics and overstatements that color the discussion add anything to the serious consideration of matters of concern. That being said, my standing question still obtains, namely, whose standards are we worried about maintaining, ours or those of other groups, other cultures, other systems of belief and behavior?
Many are asking and are justifiably concerned about the fact that the situation (that is OUR situation!) has devolved to the point where a self-identified Haredi (one who is trembling with piety) man SPITS at an 8 year old child (not that it matters, but who is herself a member of the religiously defined community), who is then rightfully traumatized by such an action. What will this child, who is herself ritualistically observant and identified as a member of the religious community by any number of identifying markers, now think as she is walking down the street and sees such individuals? Did our larger community do her and others in her generation a gross injustice by consistently and tacitly accepting a devolving situation where the screaming and the diatribes thrown at each other detract from the real issue, namely that:
בצלם אלקים נברא כל אדם
In other words, EVERY HUMAN BEING, MALE AND FEMALE, has been created in the IMAGE OF G-D. Further, we are taught in Bereshit Rabbah, amongst so many other texts, that when we act in such a way as to embarrass another human being, we diminish G-d’s presence in that person, but more importantly, in ourselves for acting in such a misinformed manner. Put simply, one who disrespects and shows disregard for another human being is showing the same disrespect and disregard for G-d, who is the CREATOR of all beings CREATED. Maimonides teaches this as well repeatedly in his Mishneh Torah. I could go on and on citing texts, but this is not really the point.
When this most basic teaching is among other things, familiar to those of us who have some modicum of common sense, one must ask what has gone so terribly wrong that the very women and children that are supposed to be protected and valued by our society are subjected to such abuse and misuse of our Torah laws and way of life.
When teaching the Book of Joshua, I love to ask my students “What went wrong with poor Achan?” Besides being a question with meter and sounding quite pithy, it is really one that concerns the deepest part of our identity – that as a group, invested in each other and supportive of those around us, we must be following the Torah dictum of “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” or
ואהבת לרעך כמוך
So, when we do discuss WHAT WENT WRONG WITH POOR ACHAN, we arrive at the point of community responsibility – the notion that we are supposed to look out for each other and be concerned about each other. How could Achan have hidden the proscribed goods WITHOUT knowledge of his neighbors and those around him? It is for this reason, we are taught in some of our commentaries, that the entirety of the people of Israel was punished by a crushing blow in their next battle.
And here we are today. Who is looking out for our eight year old girls walking to their school appropriately dressed? Who is looking out for the female soldier that is GUARDING AND PROTECTING US when she sits on a bus? Who is looking out for women who want to shop (but cannot because their skirts are not long enough) in the same grocery store they have always shopped in before new neighbors moved into the next community over? Who is looking out for girls that are respectfully observing community standards yet cannot walk through certain neighborhoods without getting attacked?
Further, what are the perpetrators learning if no one is stopping them? What favors are being done for them if there is validation of their actions with no consequences? WHAT WENT WRONG WITH POOR ACHAN? And finally, as an entirely different but not unconnected issue, let us consider where the Tzedakah dollars of those of us who are attacked by those who decide “we are not frum enough” are potentially NOT GOING TO GO ANY LONGER? Now who suffers? This is not helping the situation either.
In Shemot 22: 20 – 23, we read this chilling text that teaches we MUST treat the GER – the stranger properly, for we were strangers in the land of Egypt and we know how it felt. We then read, as this text continues, not to ignore the cry of the widow or the orphan or G-d will make OUR OWN women and children orphans. This text keeps running through my head as I consider these painful and profoundly disappointing events in our present day lives. And I do wonder …. Who IS protecting the children and women vulnerable to such actions within their own community?
No, we are not as bad as other people and groupingss that do not live up to their standards. That being said, we are in need of a major taking of account (a CHESHBON HANEFESH) in terms of our own standards, because we have too many ACHANS running around hurting those we are to protect and value and cherish amongst our own, even an eight year old child who just wants to ride the bus to school!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Let’s Protest ….. Everything: The Israeli Way
Our family just returned from Israel and during the 10 or so days we were there, we found more protests per square mile regarding clearly relevant and important issues and protests that protested the protests than one would be able to imagine. This is the land of protests. We have come through tentifada, the protests regarding needing to better meet the needs of the disabled, protests against the referred - to Occupation (please don’t protest, I am just referencing the name), protests supporting the efforts of TZAHAL, protests regarding the religious control and presence in various communities, protests regarding the lack of religious control and presence in various communities, protests about the economic situation, and oh yes, there is that other issue… you know, the treatment of women.
Should they be visible or invisible? Should they be visible part of the time or all of the time? How long should their sleeves be? While one man spits at a child whose sleeves are not long enough (shame on him and any others like him!) another very Haredi community has now required that their women wear their skirts to the middle of their calves, and NOT full length in…. (yes, you guessed it) PROTEST of the Modern Orthodox and National Religious women who wear long skirts (for me, its just that I like that flowy, hippy style!). Then there are those in Ramat Beit Shemesh who protest any length of skirt and wear their Burkas, in protest! Does anyone else find this as absurd as I do?
Protests abound in support of women being visible on billboards, singing at celebratory events in the army and not having to be relegated to the back of the bus. Then there are other protests for the rights of the Haredi men who are now serving in the army (after many years of efforts that went into making that happen) who should not have to hear the voices of women. Further, now there is a new “potential wall” to protest – the one being discussed that would divide Beit Shemesh, an entirely other discussion.
It really is a wonder anyone has any time to do much of anything else in the course of a normal week here (whatever that might look like). PROTESTING can be a full time involvement in this tiny and VERY VOCAL country! So, I think this can be a good thing. Thank G-d, in this country people can protest and counter-protest and then protest against the counter-protesters and generally everyone gets their word, their street corners, their newspaper and media coverage and of course, this just fuels all of the protests even more. Israel definitely gets credit and praise for this – you know, its called Freedom of Speech!
That being said, I wonder if the core issues are getting lost in the overly plentiful protests as wonderful and important thoughts get lost in too many words. While the raising of voices is to be valued and appreciated, I am concerned that while some are yelling louder and louder for whatever they are protesting, others are getting headaches and just losing their way. What if we all join in one large protest in which we would ask all factions and groupings in Israeli society to treat each other with the respect and regard that they would hope to be treated? Are you listening, Hillel and Akiba? What if we protested protests and promoted dialogue and sitting down to deeply listen to the other and make their cause our concern? So much in our Jewish tradition really encourages us to do just that. I personally think it is the way to go, but I know…. This would definitely lead to another protest!
Should they be visible or invisible? Should they be visible part of the time or all of the time? How long should their sleeves be? While one man spits at a child whose sleeves are not long enough (shame on him and any others like him!) another very Haredi community has now required that their women wear their skirts to the middle of their calves, and NOT full length in…. (yes, you guessed it) PROTEST of the Modern Orthodox and National Religious women who wear long skirts (for me, its just that I like that flowy, hippy style!). Then there are those in Ramat Beit Shemesh who protest any length of skirt and wear their Burkas, in protest! Does anyone else find this as absurd as I do?
Protests abound in support of women being visible on billboards, singing at celebratory events in the army and not having to be relegated to the back of the bus. Then there are other protests for the rights of the Haredi men who are now serving in the army (after many years of efforts that went into making that happen) who should not have to hear the voices of women. Further, now there is a new “potential wall” to protest – the one being discussed that would divide Beit Shemesh, an entirely other discussion.
It really is a wonder anyone has any time to do much of anything else in the course of a normal week here (whatever that might look like). PROTESTING can be a full time involvement in this tiny and VERY VOCAL country! So, I think this can be a good thing. Thank G-d, in this country people can protest and counter-protest and then protest against the counter-protesters and generally everyone gets their word, their street corners, their newspaper and media coverage and of course, this just fuels all of the protests even more. Israel definitely gets credit and praise for this – you know, its called Freedom of Speech!
That being said, I wonder if the core issues are getting lost in the overly plentiful protests as wonderful and important thoughts get lost in too many words. While the raising of voices is to be valued and appreciated, I am concerned that while some are yelling louder and louder for whatever they are protesting, others are getting headaches and just losing their way. What if we all join in one large protest in which we would ask all factions and groupings in Israeli society to treat each other with the respect and regard that they would hope to be treated? Are you listening, Hillel and Akiba? What if we protested protests and promoted dialogue and sitting down to deeply listen to the other and make their cause our concern? So much in our Jewish tradition really encourages us to do just that. I personally think it is the way to go, but I know…. This would definitely lead to another protest!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
And now a teaching from a page of Yaakov’s life…
This past week’s Parsha opens as follows (Bereshit 28:10):
וַיֵּצֵ֥א יַֽעֲקֹ֖ב מִבְּאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע וַיֵּ֖לֶךְ חָרָֽנָה:
So, we begin with the words “And Yaakov went out from Be’er Sheva and went/came to Charan.” Rashi and others pose the question of why the first four words are needed. Why, that is, do we have to worry about where Yaakov came from at this point, as if we have been paying attention we know his location from the previous text? The only real information we really need is his next location, right? What is the significance of these words as we know that they cannot be extraneous, not according to the good teachings and voices of our classical commentaries?
So, we look at this as we consider Yaakov as a person. We are taught that Be’er Sheva was the place and history and heritage of Yaakov and that it will be in Charan and the environs where Yaakov will move on and become Yisrael, claiming a new and distinct destiny as the father of a nation, of which we are a part. We all understand this in terms of our own lives which are increasingly mobile and filled with so many chapters of different professional activities, relationships, locales of where we live and so on.
I often repeat the saying attributed to Madame Chiang Kei Sheik, who said something to the effect of the following: We are all the sum total of everywhere we have been, everyone we have known and everything we have done. I think that this lesson can be found in the inclusion of these four little words at the beginning of this particular Parsha.
We all have many chapters of our lives that go with us wherever we go as part of our baggage – the real baggage, not the clothes we wear, but the experiences and challenges that form our personality in the most fundamental way. While some of those experiences may indeed be painful, they are part of the reason we become who we become. To be sure, in the earlier chapters of Yaakov’s life there are some actions that could be seen as questionable at best and deplorable at worst. Yes, we know that G-d conveyed the relationship between her two sons to Rivkah and that destiny’s purpose was to be served as envisioned as G-d, but we learn, as Pirke Avot teaches, G-d knows all and the human being chooses. That is to say, that we believe in the gift from G-d to the human being of free choice and our ability to choose is in no way limited or mitigated by the notion that all is revealed and known to G-d. These two elements of our reality are simultaneously operative and not causative. Looking at some of these choices in Yaakov’s life and his later position of being the father of our people and named Israel as such, there are clearly incidents that reflect prices to be paid for misdeeds in his life. Some commentators and many people who learn the text of these stories cite that, for example, maybe Laban switching Rachel and Leah was deserved (payback?) for Yaakov “switching” who he was and taking advantage of Yitzchak’s impairment to procure the birthright.
We often ask the question, but wait, if G-d intended such and such to be so, and if one acts in a less than honorable way and G-d’s plan is realized, doesn’t this justify all actions? You know, this is “the end justifies the means argument” with which we are all so familiar. This, to be sure, is a difficult and complicated question – trust me, I spend hours, days, weeks, and months mulling this over with my high school students on a regular basis as well as in my own head.
That being said, maybe we do need to look at our motivations for doing what we do. What if we KNOW we are fulfilling some greater good yet forgiving ourselves simultaneously for the less-than-honorable means we use to do so? As we learn, G-d does know all, the omniscient being that G-d is. Further, maybe our wrong intentions come from some type of lack of maturity, thinking about our contemporary society and all the buzz about how the brain development in young adults is not complete until their mid twenties (and many question that) and yet decisions that are life changing and formative are made before this point.
So, Yaakov, foolish, flawed Yaakov came from Be’er Sheva to become the much more mature and respected Yisrael of Charan and later of an entire people and region. Yet, those experiences from his younger and formative years helped to make him such. May our experiences from our past, wherever we came from and whatever we did, do the same for us and may we remember the important lessons they bring us!
וַיֵּצֵ֥א יַֽעֲקֹ֖ב מִבְּאֵ֣ר שָׁ֑בַע וַיֵּ֖לֶךְ חָרָֽנָה:
So, we begin with the words “And Yaakov went out from Be’er Sheva and went/came to Charan.” Rashi and others pose the question of why the first four words are needed. Why, that is, do we have to worry about where Yaakov came from at this point, as if we have been paying attention we know his location from the previous text? The only real information we really need is his next location, right? What is the significance of these words as we know that they cannot be extraneous, not according to the good teachings and voices of our classical commentaries?
So, we look at this as we consider Yaakov as a person. We are taught that Be’er Sheva was the place and history and heritage of Yaakov and that it will be in Charan and the environs where Yaakov will move on and become Yisrael, claiming a new and distinct destiny as the father of a nation, of which we are a part. We all understand this in terms of our own lives which are increasingly mobile and filled with so many chapters of different professional activities, relationships, locales of where we live and so on.
I often repeat the saying attributed to Madame Chiang Kei Sheik, who said something to the effect of the following: We are all the sum total of everywhere we have been, everyone we have known and everything we have done. I think that this lesson can be found in the inclusion of these four little words at the beginning of this particular Parsha.
We all have many chapters of our lives that go with us wherever we go as part of our baggage – the real baggage, not the clothes we wear, but the experiences and challenges that form our personality in the most fundamental way. While some of those experiences may indeed be painful, they are part of the reason we become who we become. To be sure, in the earlier chapters of Yaakov’s life there are some actions that could be seen as questionable at best and deplorable at worst. Yes, we know that G-d conveyed the relationship between her two sons to Rivkah and that destiny’s purpose was to be served as envisioned as G-d, but we learn, as Pirke Avot teaches, G-d knows all and the human being chooses. That is to say, that we believe in the gift from G-d to the human being of free choice and our ability to choose is in no way limited or mitigated by the notion that all is revealed and known to G-d. These two elements of our reality are simultaneously operative and not causative. Looking at some of these choices in Yaakov’s life and his later position of being the father of our people and named Israel as such, there are clearly incidents that reflect prices to be paid for misdeeds in his life. Some commentators and many people who learn the text of these stories cite that, for example, maybe Laban switching Rachel and Leah was deserved (payback?) for Yaakov “switching” who he was and taking advantage of Yitzchak’s impairment to procure the birthright.
We often ask the question, but wait, if G-d intended such and such to be so, and if one acts in a less than honorable way and G-d’s plan is realized, doesn’t this justify all actions? You know, this is “the end justifies the means argument” with which we are all so familiar. This, to be sure, is a difficult and complicated question – trust me, I spend hours, days, weeks, and months mulling this over with my high school students on a regular basis as well as in my own head.
That being said, maybe we do need to look at our motivations for doing what we do. What if we KNOW we are fulfilling some greater good yet forgiving ourselves simultaneously for the less-than-honorable means we use to do so? As we learn, G-d does know all, the omniscient being that G-d is. Further, maybe our wrong intentions come from some type of lack of maturity, thinking about our contemporary society and all the buzz about how the brain development in young adults is not complete until their mid twenties (and many question that) and yet decisions that are life changing and formative are made before this point.
So, Yaakov, foolish, flawed Yaakov came from Be’er Sheva to become the much more mature and respected Yisrael of Charan and later of an entire people and region. Yet, those experiences from his younger and formative years helped to make him such. May our experiences from our past, wherever we came from and whatever we did, do the same for us and may we remember the important lessons they bring us!
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