HOW LOVELY IT IS WHEN WE CAN ALL COME TOGETHER

There is a profoundly meaningful as well as hopeful statement that is uttered by Jews when they enter prayer community in our synagogues. It goes as follows “How goodly are your tents Jacob, how lovely your dwelling places Israel.” It is based upon the blessing uttered by one who came to curse and malign the Jewish nation as we are told in the book of Numbers/BaMidbar. Yet when he (Balaam) saw how peacefully and openly the community lived, he was moved to bless instead of curse.

In this time of everything BUT such peaceful co-existence in too many instances (unfortunately), sharing and caring and above all COMPASSION for all, it is often hard to hold onto this image. Yet there are moments in time… and this past Sunday was precisely one of these. I am still floating.

Along with an amazing group of colleagues with whom I was honored to create a steering committee, including an Imam, Catholic nun and other intentional people of faith (THANK YOU Aziz, Sister Cathy, Megan and Sa’id), we brought together a gathering of over 100 people for a day of study and sharing about Giving and Forgiving. This conference was originally scheduled for this past March, but like so many such initiatives in our present COVID-19 reality, it had to be first cancelled, then rescheduled. Finally, it was set for this past Sunday once it was clear we were going to have to use a Zoom format instead of the hospitality of the Catholic college where it was planned to be held.

A collection of scholars, religious leaders and others shared important teachings from Christianity. Catholicism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Sikhism, and Secular Humanism, among others. We also heard from civic and governmental leaders as well as philanthropists. These amazing people work regionally as well as nationally and internationality. (Due to the silver lining of presenting on Zoom, we could do that!)

What was so palpable and impressive was that the many different paths we have all taken in our life journeys have all been based on the same set of foundational beliefs of humility, the idea that hubris divides and hurts, we should all have compassion for our fellow human beings, see and try to alleviate the suffering of those who are vulnerable and so much else. We were all collectively blown away by the fellowship, shared values and amazing level of conversations as well as texts that repeatedly teach us these important formative concepts and beliefs, AND that we can honor and respect differences WHILE we celebrate what we share.

The proceedings of this four plus hour conference can be found here; and I highly recommend that you check it out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpeEa_d2pLs&feature=youtu.be

So much of my life is dedicated to building and expanding these important bridges of understanding to heal and rebuild, instead of hurt and destroy. This coming week is the Torah portion of Noach in the Jewish community. We have one story where an individual (Noach) is cited as being “a righteous person in/for his time” – he does what he is told to do, no more and no less. Then, he too goes astray later in the Torah reading. I cannot help but noting and thinking that this has to be somewhat precipitated by his not invested himself in becoming part of the collective, to concern himself with those around him, and therefore acting as one agent, not accountable to others.

At the end of these chapters of reading we have the narrative of the Tower of Babel, where there was cooperation alright – but to build something so representative of hubris that it would be eternal, supplanting G-d. That is not the way either. We need these relationships to be balanced – between us and G-d (or the Force/Source in which we believe) and between each other – in order to work in the symbiotic way intended.

Go through this video. If you cannot listen to the entire program just choose bits and pieces or listen to units of it at different times. You will hear respect for each other, love for all of humanity, profound lessons of caring and compassion for others, and important instances of people not just talking the talk, but walking the walk -- regardless of one’s way to get there and the faith community with which one does (or does not) associate. This is truly representative of the best of who we are.

My husband, Ken, always says that whatever is happening, we must remember that ultimately there are more people who want the correct things for the correct reasons – caring for others, sharing and caring with our resources and remembering that EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US is created BeTzelem Elokim, in the image of G-d. It is gatherings such as this one that do reinforce that feeling in my heart and soul.

This is why I am very concerned about our democracy

In 1972 I was a student at George Washington University. That was the year of a presidential election. Richard Nixon won the election. Our student population was very concerned. One night at the very Republican F Street club, there was a celebration. Bob Hope was the headliner. He came out front and performed for a largely democratic student population and hor d’oeuvres were passed around. There were jokes, assurances that we need not worry, that our politics may be different but we all wanted the same democratic protections. We felt better.

Then I was worried about George W. Bush because of his demeanor and political positions, but he actually showed, as all Republican Presidents during my life thus far, respect for the law of this land and the fundamentals of democracy. I think back to Ronald Reagan who showed compassion and concern for all of us as Americans. Again, I did not agree with all of his politics but understood that he was really trying to do what was right in terms of his belief system and that of those who supported him.

In terms of full disclosure, as I believe strongly in the separation of church and state, rights for all people regardless of gender, sexuality, color, nationality or ethnicity, and have been willing to pay more taxes for support systems for those who need it, I have been a life-long democrat. HOWEVER, there have been instances when I voted for a Republican candidate if I felt they were the most qualified and best candidate, because I had faith that each of these people did believe in the nature and characteristics of our special democracy. That is until now, and this is why I am scared.

Consider that research has recently focused on countries that supposedly or actually use democratic elections to end democracy. In the New York Times, Amanda Taub observed as follows in April, 2017.

The recent referendum in Turkey, in which President Recep Tayyip Erdogan claimed a narrow majority of votes to expand his presidential authority, is the latest example of a puzzling phenomenon: Democratically elected leaders who triumph in elections even as they move toward autocracy by undermining checks and balances and consolidating power.

Today, the most common way for a democracy to collapse is through the actions of an elected incumbent, not a coup or revolution. Hugo Chávez, elected to four terms as president of Venezuela, used his time in office to dismantle the institutions of Venezuelan democracy and expand his own authority…

This phenomenon, which experts call “authoritarianization,”highlights a deep vulnerability built into the structure of democracy itself. Once in power, unscrupulous leaders can sometimes manipulate the political environment to their own benefit, making it more likely that they will be victorious in future contests. By winning those elections, they gain the stamp of democratic legitimacy — even for actions that ultimately undermine democratic norms.

Manipulating and winning elections has become a kind of exploit in the rules of political legitimacy — a way for would-be autocrats to hack the system.

Source https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/18/world/europe/how-autocrats-can-triumph-in-democratic-countries.html

Similar dynamics have taken place in Russia, many South African countries, Eastern Asia, and throughout the world. The most concerning dynamic that is now being examined is how what appears to be democratic process is being manipulated to end democracy and turn countries into a quasi- or direct dictatorships. This occurs when candidates do not show respect for the law of the land and claim they will use whatever means possible to serve their own purposes. What follows are examples of such statements made by these candidates and leaders in different countries:

“….my commitment is to Hungary not having significant minorities with different cultural characteristics and backgrounds among its citizens.” Stated by Hungary’s Prime Minister Viktor Orbán

“As for the proposal to lift restrictions for any person, any citizen, including the incumbent president, to allow running in future elections ... this option is possible,” Stated by Vladimir Putin, in support of bypassing previous elements of the constitution and extending his rule until 2036 possibly.

"The person who wrote this story will pay a heavy price for it; I won't let him go unpunished." Stated by Turkey’s President Recep Tayyip Erdogan. Erdogan is seeking a sentence of life imprisonment for the journalist, Can Dundar.

The Prisoners Are Also the Guards: Everyone is required to join a "loyalty"-enforcing "mass organization," such as the "Kim Il Sung Socialist Youth League." Because North Korean society is designed to be so fiercely competitive, and because that competition doesn't mean doing a better job so much as sniffing out "ideological impurity" both at work and at home, you've got to be willing to turn against your neighbor just to survive. Any North Korean who wants a good chance at feeding their family must join the state's efforts "maintain ideological discipline" and "provide another surveillance mechanism for state security." About one out of every 25 married women, for example, are recruited into the inminban "neighborhood units" that are expected to openly spy on their friends and family and to sniff out enemies, whether they exist or not; failure to produce makes you suspect. Everyone is an informer and an enforcer, doing Kim Jong Un's work for him.

Source: https://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/08/defying-history-how-kim-jong-un-could-hold-onto-power-for-decades/260744/?gclid=CjwKCAjw8MD7BRArEiwAGZsrBQjqb_G8yFj8lc9QBpO38lWnkYQnAH6aCdbvPtYE0S5mZ58hSLv5qRoCVK0QAvD_BwE While this is not a direct qute ut a narrative, it has been fact checked and is accurate.

Make the lie big. Make it simple. Keep saying it, and eventually people will believe it. Stated by Adolf Hitler.

There is no state with a democracy except Libya on the whole planet. Stated by Muammar Gaddafi

I could go on and on. Threatening the protection of the free press, ignoring the oppression of various groups while claiming rights for the privileged, statements that we do not want people in our country who are “different than us” – whoever the “us” is, threatening to not abide by elections or just rendering them non-consequential, calling one’s ruled entity the best or the only true democracy and other such comments go against the grain of everything these United States of America stand for. This is what scares me and it should instill fear in all of us – women; people of different faith communities including Muslims and Jews, both groups having experienced greater degrees of persecution and oppression in recent years; people of color and different ethnicities and racial groupings; immigrants and people from different national origins; our own native or First Americans, LGBTQ individuals, different socio-economic groupings, and so on. Do you have friends, family, people you love who re or fit into any of these categories? Do you truly understand what happens when a democracy slips into autocratic government? Do you realize how often this has happened? Do you yourself as a child or grandchild or great-grandchild of victims of Nazi Germany, the Stalinist regime, the immigrants who have escaped lands of oppression and persecution understand what is at stake in our democracy at present?

There have been presidential elections in the past where I was not thrilled with either candidate but I voted and if the other candidate won, I at least knew that the parameters of our constitutional democracy would protect me. Are we that comfortable at this point? If nothing else, we need to vote for the candidate who respects the law, who cares about EVERY American, the one who knows that we all share some responsibility to help those who do not have as much privilege and that we must continue to agree to disagree while abiding by the fundamental constitutional elements that make our country the democracy it is and MUST continue to be.

How We Live and Hopes and Expectations From our Leaders

I remember a story my mom told me many times years ago about a teacher she had when she was a child in Hebrew School. Her teacher made it very clear that Jews are to carefully follow all of the Mitzvot – commanded actions from G-d, and if they do not do so, there would be dire consequences. Keeping Kosher, observing Shabbat, honoring parents, and other obligatory actions were required at all times or else…. Then it happened! My mom, in her early years, mortally afraid of this particular rather severe teacher and that lightening would come and personally strike her if she did not heed Mrs. Strict and Authoritative Teacher’s word, saw this woman eating non-Kosher food on a Shabbat afternoon. Now I want to make it clear that the fact of her actual personal observances was not the problem. BUT everything my mom had learned in her class flew out of the window, so to speak, and that may have been one of her existential crises in her earlier years. I know that, in her honor, and the lesson learned from this anecdote, that when I have been in positions to influence or model behaviors for students or a community, I have always been as honest as I possible could and asked others to do the same. Better, I thought, to model different genuine ways of identifying as a person of faith and religion, for example, than have teachers, in positions to influence, falsely claim to be something they were not.

In a lot of my work, whether around my teaching involvements on critical issues in our lives, advocating for women’s participation and rights in religious settings, advising and supporting LGBTQ members of the Orthodox Jewish community, in my Multi-Faith work, teaching about racial and social injustice, Environmental Sustainability, etc., I am always horrified by how many stories I come across (way too much) where those who are in positions of potential influence abuse those positions and mislead at least and ruin at worst the lives entrusted to them. A Rabbi who wields such power over followers abusing children, a Priest who is trusted hurting those in his charge, a sports coach taking advantage of those in his care, political leaders who do not themselves follow the rules that govern the country or state entrusted to their care, and so on. I remember when I was very young, one of the children in our extended family circle could be a bit of a rascal. His mom would remark how he would try to maintain eye contact with her while he was doing something he was not supposed to RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER – a childish notion that he could get away with something by directing his parent’s attention elsewhere. If he did not look at and see what was wrong, neither, he supposed, would she. That was a child’s perspective; he grew up to become quite a fine and honorable man. But what about those who have clearly not done so?

As a human being, Jew, American, mom, family member, friend and within the context of all of my professional values, I have always believed that what we say and what we do have an impact on all those around us. The words that come out of our mouths mean nothing if not consistent with and supported by our actions. I live this way, I teach this way, I hold myself to this standard and take very seriously the responsibility that I have as one who potentially influences others and do not want anyone to suffer from any potential disconnects between my words and actions. This is the way I live and this is what I would hope that others in positions of influence, far more wide-reaching than my own as leaders in various contexts, would do as well. We are taught in our Jewish texts that we walk with G-d by modeling proper behaviors that are set before us by The Creator of All to replicate.

For so many years, we would try to teach our children and the successive generations of young people to do just this – to model proper behaviors, hopefully observed in those in whom they should place their trust. I remember my parents wanting me to see certain models of behavior amongst leaders, Rabbis, teachers, etc. Then we had our many young people who preferred to choose sports figures, actors and actresses as role models – rich, famous and with more material resources than they knew what to do and not always those who do such wonderful things for others… clearly there are both options--- and we tell them to choose their role models more carefully.

We want our children to have respect for authority. We want them to follow laws that are operative in our society. We want them to treat all others with the respect and honor that we are all accorded. Racism, prejudice, lack of social justice, not treating others who are different than us appropriately, being selfish with resources, and simply not caring about anyone except oneself are those behaviors we avoid and teach our children how to do so by our example and those who lead with the same code of behavior.

So how have we gotten to this point where human decency and the most basic levels of acceptance of others are now no longer givens? How is it that we cannot just agree to disagree and speak with each other in honorable and caring voices, sharing our points of view and not shouting out the other? How do we explain to our children that once again, depending on what neighborhood you are in, what political leanings you have, what the color of your skin is, what religious symbols you wear, you must be very careful to not expose yourself as who and what you are in order to remain safe and unharmed. For those of us who thought those battles may have receded at least a bit, unfortunately we are ALL TOO AWARE that these problems are clearly front and center in our lives in a way that is much too painful.

Anti-Semitism is on the rise, Muslims are afraid to share who they are, blacks have to be careful how they respond to what may be abusive and undeserved accusations or diatribes, people of privilege act disparagingly towards those who have not had such opportunity, Native Americans aren’t even recognized for their part in this country’s history, immigrants are maligned and endangered on so many levels and on the list goes… even though we ALL come from these backgrounds! AND ALL OF THIS IS OKAY, EVEN PREFERRED BY TOO MANY OF OUR FELLOW AMERICANS.

My husband and I were recently having a conversation about sports teams recently (a subject at which you know I excel …. LOL!) and we were discussing how names of teams such as the Washington Redskins were changed. He asked me how I felt about this. My answer was changing a name or taking down a statue IS NOT SOLVING THE PROBLEM of what is going on at this present point. Imagine, just imagine if people could proudly say who they are and use the identifying terms of their choice, wear their garb, and be accepted for who they are. Terms are pejorative because of the meaning attached. What if Redskins could be a nomenclature of pride in an alternative universe where we talk about the different Native American names that reflect the nature and context of their history just as referring to Blacks is NOT a bad thing, though clearly other assigned titles to this grouping are NOT respectful? What if we could speak freely about who we are and the characteristics we proudly hold as part of our heritage? What if we could have intelligent conversations around this symbol or that statue and the lessons learned from that person or situation – both those that are part of our past and to be remembered for their slight and any pride that may be found as well? But it appears to me that sadly, this is not the case.

As too many of our human brothers and sisters and those who lead them have forgotten or lost what it means to be truly HUMAN by being HUMANE, unfortunately it feels like with some of these conversations about symbols or names, we are fighting about rearranging the furniture while the Titanic is sinking…. to use a metaphor.

We need to BEGIN AGAIN….. can we please remember that we will NOT all agree? Can we remember that 100% of the people will NOT be 100% happy 100% of the time? Can we remember that the gift and foundational essence of democracy is that we will NOT all agree? And finally, can we remember to accept all of this with intelligence and honor and respect for what we share as well as the differences that are a given part of our collective? And then, maybe, just maybe, we can work TOGETHER and UNIFY on the issues that really matter – pandemics and their impact, racial and social injustice that are ripping apart the fabric of our American society, inequity of opportunity and resources, rampant hatred and prejudice, concerns about the environment that is being destroyed, and so on…

I remember as a much younger person and through the years watching both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions and participating in debates about different perspectives of what it means to be the United States of America. It gave me a sense of pride that we could be so civil and people who spoke and led showed how we can disagree respectfully, state our positions and come together as a country. Sadly, oh so sadly, I do not feel like this any longer. This year, we COULD NOT have our children watch both conventions without being very careful – I did so as in the past, and to say it was painful is quite the understatement. I do NOT want my students, the people I love and cherish, friends and family, to learn from what was heard, to model what was shouted, to tell lies that are clearly counter-indicated by facts and documents….. these are not the lessons I want to impart and for my daughter’s children and their peers to replicate. So now, we teach without the example of too many of these leaders, and maybe we should focus more on some of those pop culture folks who are better role models.

I and many of those around me are profoundly upset in our present situation. We who respect and honor those who have served this country, we who try to work for social and racial justice, we who treasure the many different voices of faith that remind us to be the best we can be, and we who want to live by the values that we have been taught and hope and pray that our leaders will do the same…. As we are taught, we must each intentionally and carefully choose for ourselves our teachers and leaders and acquire colleagues, hopefully worthy of following. May we each do our part to continue to work to heal our fractured world and speak out and up when necessary without outshouting each other!

I LOVE lemonade so when there are lemons coming our way, guess what….

This summer began with questions, puzzled looks, disappointed faces, tears, and so forth given that summer camps were closed, overnight camp experiences cancelled and parents are working from home, kids are addicted to their screens even more so given that this is how they were going to school and in general, what WERE WE GOING TO DO? For adults, we were upset that plans had to be cancelled – we were supposed to be in Rome for an international conference in June and there was a possibility I and my daughter and her family would be in Israel for July. Obviously none of this happened.

One of the things that struck me in the beginning of this Covid 19 Odyssey was a lovely piece some clever person created that showed a parent and their child in the year 2030. The parent asked the child who was in his later teenage years what he remembered from 2020. He could not remember at first. Then the parent began … “I had to work from home, you guys went to school from home, we were all in self-isolation, parks were closed, no entertainment spots to go to, we could not get out of the house, etc. etc. It was just so frustrating.” Then the child thinks and says, “Oh right, now I remember, that was the BEST year of my childhood. We had dinner together every night, dad and I played ball in the yard, we played board games and laughed as a family, enjoyed our home, and it was just great. BEST YEAR EVER!”

So, for my summer of 2020, I continued to work. Always, meetings, classes I teach, programs I run, etal. were on the screen, and at the same time I took the moment and made lemonade… that is, we hatched up this idea of Machaneh (Camp) Savta for two nine year olds and a six year old and a three year old as well, when she could detach from her mommy and daddy’s arm or leg for a while. We spent a lot of time in the pool, used imagination in playing with a toy village, read and completed summer school packets, the six year old went to a virtual camp for a few hours in the morning resulting in several house scavenger hunts, we all dovened (prayed) and learned the weekly Torah portion together, completed art projects, learned sewing skills and made skirts, learned about some of the issues swirling around us in our world on an age appropriate level, cooked dinners, just hung out, played games, took walks, etc.

It was really quite lovely, if somewhat complicated at time keeping all of the balls in the air at once. I know these wonderful members of the newest generation of our family will tell stories about our experiences and also about our unplanned experiences, like the ceiling collapsing in their bedroom due to a huge mistake made by an air conditioning service person, a flooding of my downstairs office and crafts room due to faulty covering of one of our window wells, and the lovely power outage that left us in the dark telling ghost stories. But through it all, we laughed, were busy and happy and in the end, it really was a lovely summer experience in every way.

We are the fortunate ones! We could do all of this and come up with a wonderful and satisfying Plan B for our kids. I hope that for all of us who are able to do so, this will be our approach. This time does absolutely present some different and wonderful opportunities, if we are paying attention. You know that saying -- “Life happens while you are making plans.”

So what else will I take from this time? I make sure to phone friends regularly as much as possible to stay in touch. I’ve even used the moment to reconnect with college roommates and my best friend from childhood thanks to my very busy ZoomRoom. My wonderful husband Ken has taken up reading books, which I enjoy as well so we do more of that. We are appreciative of the comfort and resources we have to make this time meaningful. It is a slower pace generally and our world has gotten a bit smaller, but we are grateful for so much and I am especially thankful that we have all had the good sense to use the opportunity of this moment instead of mourning what we can’t do. Oh and right, for my husband and children and all who care – GO PHILLIES with your cardboard fans, FLYERS, and SIXERS with your onscreen fans! Be well all, stay safe, and make this time as special as possible. Now it’s time for that cool glass of lemonade!

Can we get a grip on Intersectionality?

In linguistics, we learn that definitions are often contextual. That is to say a term can be misappropriated or specifically designated to mean something other than originally intended given certain context and conditions. So, for example, here is a term that has been giving me headaches, recently” INTERSECTIONALITY!

A dictionary definition (Seventh Collegiate Dictionary) is:

the interconnected nature of social categorizations such as race, class, and gender as they apply to a given individual or group, regarded as creating overlapping and interdependent systems of discrimination or disadvantage.

This term has historically been used to indicate inclusivity, that is to say to recognize my whole self, as I am all of me, not just one thing. All of these different aspects of who I am intersect to form my whole identity – my gender, sexuality, race, ethnicity, religion, etc. When I am at a disadvantage or somehow being discriminated against, it may very well be because of my race, religion, gender, etc. that all impact upon and intersect with each other. For example, it is known that black transgender women are at a significantly higher risk for being subjected to extreme violence than virtually any other group in the United States. When did we. begin to use this term to express “all of me?”

According to the Columbia Journalism Review, “Intersectionality” was coined in 1989 by Kimberlé Crenshaw, a civil rights activist and legal scholar. In a paper for the University of Chicago Legal Forum, Crenshaw wrote that traditional feminist ideas and antiracist policies exclude black women because they face overlapping discrimination unique to them.

The term was intended to be one of affirmation, so that we see ALL of each other, and not just focus on one aspect of an individual, understanding the many reasons for discrimination, and hopefully how we can counteract this. We all have many different identity points, facets of our lives and do not want to be reduced to a caricature of any one aspect of who we are. Further, when different reasons for discrimination compound each other, there are members of our community who need our advocacy and concern even more,

So, what has happened in our present world of contention where too many causes and issues are too often conflated so that instead of the intended meaning of this term where we are to see all of the many aspects of what makes us an individual or group and be cognizant of any disadvantage that accrues due to that total picture, too many among us are reducing the many variegated aspects of who and what we are to simplistic and erroneous minimal categories. Here all victims are victims and all oppressors are oppressors summarily without looking at the nuanced reality of different groups and their stories and challenges. Israel is NOT an absolute oppressive annihilator (though there are policies that may not be well-informed on many levels), all immigrants are not suspect (any more than every group has its suspect members), all people of color are not lazy (we all have those too!), all Jews are not rich, all Muslims are not terrorists and so on…. We are all people of many identities – I for example, am a mom, wife, woman, observant Jew, supporter of the value of all lives and social justice, an academic, a creative thinker, and so much more. Do NOT reduce me to a bleeding heart liberal or call me names because I support Israel and DO NOT tell me that I cannot love Israel (though disagree vehemently with policies and practices of its government and some of its own identity groups) and feel that we must 100% support black lives, Muslim people of faith, help immigrants, and so on. I live by the foundational Jewish belief that we must respect every human being for G-d is at the core of each and every one.

When I see and value and accept you as a person of faith, gender identity, nationality, racial grouping, and all of the many other facets of who you are as a complete human being, THAT IS INTERSECTIONALITY. When one says you cannot support Black Lives Matter (even with troubling statements in its position statements with which I vehemently disagree) and love Israel and be a person of privilege (due to my racial identity, but not my gender nor my religious grouping) and otherwise reduce us to the A or NOT-A binary options, THIS IS NOT INTERSECTIONALITY.

Our identities are complex and nuanced and multi-faceted, just like each of the elements of those identities. Our tenth commandment teaches not to covet your neighbor’s identity or belongings, acknowledging that we are all many different things. That is what makes us interesting. Instead of looking at labels, let us work on creating affinity groups in a meaningful way. I was learning with my daughter’s two nine-year-old and six-year-old daughters this morning about Tisha B’Av, the saddest and most mournful day in the Jewish calendar, that will be on Thursday. We were talking about the destruction of the Jewish Temple due to Sinat Hinam, causeless hatred, which I think is the result of the MISUSE of the terms INTERSECTIONALITY in our world today and how we have to build our community with good people with constructive and caring values, REGARDLESS of the various identity points that may “mark” us as part of this “good” group or that “not good” group. They got it!

Can we please all take on this lesson? I see and care but will never discriminate against you because of the religious garb you wear; what your gender is – binary or not, what is the color of your skin; the language that is your mother tongue…. I SEE YOU and I understand that these ARE IMPORTANT PARTS OF YOU. What I care deeply about is that we do not conflate these identities inappropriately and instead use our shared values of caring, sharing, forgiving and giving, and humility and faith in the greater good and so much else to build consortiums and communities that are healing and accepting. COME ONE COME ALL, AND BRING ALL OF YOU to the party! Then hopefully my headaches will go away.

DeSean Jackson, Public School Principals, Orthodox Jewish Rabbis and Political Figures

So, I was just inundated with reactions to statements made by DeSean Jackson last week, including a friend and colleague who asked me to write about this (Thank you IG). First of all, in terms of full disclosure, I had no idea who this person who caused such an uproar is and had to be educated as to his being a team member of the Eagles (football team for Philadelphia, for those of you as outside of the sports awareness loop as I generally am, much to the chagrin of my family and too many friends!) and his importance to them as a great wide receiver (whatever that is!). So, this is what I have figured out…. This Eagles wide receiver who is supposed to be really great and very valuable to the team, and therefore probably admired by and a potential role model to many made comments that were clearly anti-Semitic (as well as incorrectly attributed) causing a great stir and angst among many.

As one who believes that we best learn when putting isolated incidents in context, let us concider the time-honored words of Tom Lehrer, in his song, National Brotherhood Week.

Oh, the white folks Hate the black folks And the black folks Hate the white folks To hate all but the right folks Is an old established rule

But during National Brotherhood Week National Brotherhood Week Lena Horne and Sheriff Clark are dancing cheek to cheek, it's Fun to eulogize the People you despise As long you don't let them in your school…

Oh the Protestants hate the Catholics And the Catholics hate the Protestants And the Hindus hate the Muslims And everybody hates the Jews, but during

National Brotherhood Week National Brotherhood Week, it's National Everyone-Smile-At -One-Another-hood Week, be Nice to people who are Inferior to you It's only for a week so have no fear Be grateful that it doesn't last all year

Source: https://genius.com/Tom-lehrer-national-brotherhood-week-lyrics

Then of course there is the writing of German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemöller, on whose tombstone, one iteration of the following sentiment appears:

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out— Because I was not a Jew. Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

Going further, there are too many various versions of this sentiment, including the very dark and chilling poem by Maurice Ogden entitled The Hangman which you are free to look at here:

https://www.edhelper.com/poetry/The_Hangman_by_Maurice_Ogden.htm

We get it! People hate people who do not agree with them; do not think like them, do not live like them, do not look like them, and simply are deemed, by whatever arbitrary criteria, as not worthy of their approval. This hatred may be intentional, inherited, representative of social constructs, conscious or subconscious. Unfortunately and generally, the permission to actively exercise this hatred is just clearly ingrained in our society. So, there is nothing we can do about it, right? Wrong! WE CAN and DO make a difference.

Two stories that happened to our son, Brian prove this. We are a Jewish Day School family and our three older daughters went completely though these schools. This was clearly our intention for our youngest, our son, but the school he went to was not, to be clear and concise, a safe or validating space for him and the other school we wanted to consider did not want to take him on as a student. So, we had our first experience with the Public School system; in our area, specifically and thankfully the Cheltenham Township Public Schools and wonderful Dr. Pamula Hart, conscientious Mrs. Irene Parker, fabulous teachers and many opportunities throughout his education. The first incident was in elementary school when a group of boys took Brian’s Kipah on the playground during recess, which he wore all of the time along with Tzitzit, to school, and began tossing it and playing “Keep Away.” Dr. Hart would not have it! She spent hours and hours talking to the boys who did this, the by-standers who watched, Brian, the parents of all involved and then brought everyone together in conversation for apologies, to learn more about each other and to understand that we need to work and play and learn together with respect. The lesson was well learned by all. We had no more incidents until ….

In grade seven, Brian was sitting in class and the girl behind him started drawing a swastika on his neck. She was immediately removed from class, I was called out of a faculty meeting I was running and told about the situation. I ascertained that Brian was fine and then asked about the girl. They told me this meant an immediate expulsion as Cheltenham is a No Place for Hate School System. I then asked them to back up – I had one question – is this girl brand new to the school system? The principal answered that she was and how did I know to ask? My response was that there was no way a student who had been there for the previous year, during which one third of the year was a study of the Holocaust and all that went wrong as well as lessons learned would do that. I could not believe that students educated for years in this school system, which valued midot (standards of behavior) as well as any other aspect of the educational system, would commit such an infraction. I indicated that she needed education not expulsion. The faculty then worked with me to come up with a two-week course to “catch her up” to the rest of the community regarding this important topic and she would serve an in-school suspension while she was working through the material. At the end of her study, she wrote a beautiful apology to Brian and they became good friends. This was the brilliance of Dr. Hart and Mrs. Parker and the faculty of Cheltenham Public Schools -- to educate, process and carefully watch for and oversee change – they were successful! We were thrilled!

I hear it and I see it … this lack of respect, care, knowledge of the other and the fear it generates. That is precisely why I spend so much time working across faith lines, trying to negotiate relationships between those who may not have knowledge of each other. I absolutely love and cherish my friends and colleagues who are Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Hindu, and across other religious spectrums and within the continuums of these communities. We speak respectfully, we ask questions, we genuinely care for each other and ALL OF US are doing this in concert with our respective faith’s foundational beliefs providing direction and energy. I often state that I have far more in common with these individuals than with those in my own faith community who forget that a most critical part of being religiously observant is to live with humility, not hubris; to remember that no one person has the complete picture; to consider how your story impacts on others and theirs on you; and that ultimately, we need each other in important and continuing ways. These relationships are healing, validating and meaningful and the work we all do together is so important and MAKES HUGE DIFFERENCES!

For those who prefer to play the “who said this” game, it’s so easy to get angry and to feel justified in one’s own reactions… The fact of the matter is that THERE ARE MEMBERS OF ALL OF OUR GROUPS THAT ACT WITH SUCH LACK OF CONCERN WITH OTHERS. I have often heard people, for example, in more religiously pitched communities claim that their way of life is the best and ensures proper behavior. Yet, I can give you a too long list of Orthodox Rabbinic authorities who DO NOT ACT according to the standards of behavior DEMANDED by our system of life (and to be sure, there are many, many WONDERFUL Orthodox Rabbis who do!). My point is that when we hear about Priests, Rabbis, people in religious authority and people in important positions of political leadership whose actions and words are followed by many and should be standing as role models act inappropriately, I get far more upset than when this is the case with, from my perspective, a random member of one sports team.

But, I know all too well that many will look at DeSean Jackson and others like him as their role models before considering their national or religious leaders and here is where he and others like him have to learn that with the privilege of their position comes responsibility. Education, such as that which our son and his school community received in his public school education and so many receive in wonderful educational institutions – both private and public; the example that is provided by responsible and intelligent leaders in our community who understand that with THEIR position of privilege comes a platform with great responsibility – this is what we should be looking at, publicizing and paying attention to. If we take those who misuse and abuse their platforms off of them (hint to social media here!) and give that space to those who are sharing meaningful and caring and helpful messages, maybe we will not have the problem of DeSean Jackson, his words and those who have not benefitted from positive role models who follow him and inflame our already fractured world further!

The Peasants are revolting!

They certainly are! Okay, here is a trivia question for anyone reading this from the Milford Mill High School Graduation classes of 1970 and 1971 in Baltimore Maryland. Do you remember that line? It was from the class of 1971’s Farewell Assembly as our friends, one year older, were graduating and leaving us in charge of the school! It was a joke that garnered appropriate laughter. However, in our contemporary reality, the humor is lost. Everyone is revolting and everyone is finding each other revolting, unfortunately. Forget tolerance, we have lost a sense of common human decency in too many instances. Civil rebellion has been an important aspect of our history on many levels. We have seen instances of when such reaction held those in power who abused others in check and we have held onto this as a right as civilians and human beings and members of governed entities.

In my work with members of other faith communities, with learners of all ages and religious and ethnic identities, in my ongoing communications with many wonderful Orthodox Jewish Rabbis who are working to insure that their communities are inclusive, and just in conversations with close and beloved people in my life with whom I may differ significantly in terms of politics or be different in level of religious observance, there is mutual and shared respect and true love for each other. We learn from each other, share our ideas and maintain our individual identity and integrity while insuring we do not compromise that of the other. This is a skill set that many of us have been taught, to have civil conversations and caring interactions, and yet, too often people are unable to do so. How sad.

I recently received an email from somone with whom I have sporadic content, when I wished them health and safety and expressed my hopes for healing of our fractured world, which is generally my message as many of you know. This is the response I received:

The civil unrest is very troubling. We need to look into this very deeply To determine our destiny.

My first reaction was to say yes, I agree that we need to look at how people cannot talk to each other or listen to each other and this indeed does compromise the viability of our destiny. But then, I realized this was not the context of the statement. As monuments are being taken down, and so many symbols of who we are collectively are being questioned in terms of their intentions and agenda, people are clearly drawing their lines in the sand and screaming, yelling and kicking to maintain them. WE ARE IN THIS MESS TOGETHER BUT ARE FIGHTING EACH OTHER AS ENEMIES! How did this happen?

I have been reading Yuval Noah Hariri’s amazing book Sapiens – A Brief History of Humankind, in which he speaks about how we have lost our ways as humans while screaming about our religious identities, political alliances, ethnic identities, racial affiliations – and maligning anyone not sharing them. The most recent concept of intersectionality where ALL VICTIMS identify with ALL OTHER VICTIMS they identify as such and then vilify the rest of us is a poignant and sad example of this dynamic. As Hariri discusses how we need each other more than ever given the many overwhelming threats to our continued existence globally, how are we to accept and cherish our differences and consider the notion that we may even learn something significant from each other, widening our own parameters of understanding of our vast human family?

There is a great deal of Gemara/Talmudic discussion about speech and blasphemy, posing the query as to whether or not such use of words is a “ma’aseh,” i.e. a concrete deed that is completed, or not? As words can and do definitely lead to death and horrible consequences, it is clear that speech is indeed a facilitative action, a concrete deed, with very real consequences. How many of us have heard of someone who died by suicide due to not being able to withstand verbal bullying any longer? I feel like this is clearly the situation we are in.

We ALL need to continue to speak and act on behalf of causes in which we believe. This freedom of speech is important and a most foundational element of who we are as thinking, intentional beings -- we may respectfully revolt but this is not revolting nor should it be seen as such. That being said, we also have to remember a basic rule of communications theory – when I speak I must be cognizant and aware of what you hear; otherwise my message will not get through. I DO CARE AND CRY for the injustices in our world at present against Blacks, Jews, Muslims, Women, LGBTQ persons, children without advocates, immigrants and all others who are not accorded the full panoply of human rights to which we are all entitled as being created in the image of G-d. Many who disagree say I am a bleeding heart liberal or being “lenient” in my approach to law; but I am going with several Orthodox Jewish Rabbis for whom I have deep respect who say this is not being “Meikel” or lenient but rather observing strictly the most important and fundamental principles upon which all Jewish law is based. As Hariri states in his study, this belief is shared in the history of our humanity by many thought systems and religious structures. It is individuals who have forgotten this and those of us who have not have the responsibility to remind others that we are to remember that each person is important and special, has an expectation of basic human rights, and when one person is not accorded such, we are ALL compromised.

At this time of global climatic compromise, too many instances of enmity, lack of acceptance of others, and so much else that has taken us many steps backwards in our shared journey, let us commit ourselves to accepting each other and listening, I mean truly listening when people are at risk…even if and especially when we do not agree... Because a system that does not protect one group of its citizens and population will ultimately abuse all of them, when that purpose is served. We in the Jewish community say: All of Israel is responsible for each other. In terms of all of us as the children of Adam and Eve, let us consider that All of Humanity is responsible for each other, peasants, or otherwise!