My New Project in The Big, Wide World Of Interfaith Dialogue and Understanding

As you all know, I have always treasured sharing different points of views and approaches with my fellow friends in faith, across the Jewish spectrum, the monotheistic spectrum and through all faith systems of the human family of which we are all part. I have always firmly believed that we miss opportunities far too often to learn with, from and about each other by holding onto preconceived notions that lead to fear and ultimately to hatred and enmity instead of looking at how we can come together in strength and conviction, holding onto and representing well our own beliefs while embracing others who are doing the same. As one of my treasured colleagues in this work, Sheikh Aziz Nathoo often repeats, we come together to converse not to convert. And, I will humbly add, by conversing, we learn by our own actions to appreciate and treasure what we share while respecting and showing regard for our differences.

In the Jewish cycle of Torah readings, we are in the book of Bereshit/Genesis. We are reading about too many stories of family dysfunction and conflict. This year in my own Parsha (weekly Torah reading) teaching, I am focusing on missed opportunities. For example, while Jacob/Yaakov is characterized as the studious obedient student who resides inside with his mother Rebecca/Rivkah, Esau is outside being wild and living on the land. His father Isaac/Yitzchak is drawn to him, perhaps due to some shortcomings of his own in that aspect of life. We see Yaakov working the land and developing great riches because of his husbandry skills, which one could legitimately ask, from where did he pick them up? By watching his brother, perchance?

Balancing our lives and understanding of each other and caring for all forms a large part of the foundational thinking represented in a large percentage of Jewish law and practices. The same can be said for Christianity and Catholicism as well as Islam and other communities of faith. YET, this is not the focus of the media, too many teachers and their teaching, and as a result, we are all suffering from too many MISSED OPPORTUNITIES for bettering ourselves and learning new skill sets, without compromising one iota of our belief system and religious lives.

I am truly blessed to be surrounded by people of different faith communities who hold this same concept that the sum total of who all of we are together is greater than the arithmetric total of the parts. Together, we discuss, share resources, program and enrich each other by interacting in honest and intentional ways, including having some of the harder conversations, which are softened by good will and care for each other. During these years of much too much fracture in our world, my Multi-Faith work has been the salve that has kept my heart whole and my soul intact. For this I am truly grateful.

I now invite all of you to share this journey by going to http://interfaithlibrary.com and see what my dear friend and colleague, Imam Mekye Abdus Salaam and I have been up to for the past weeks. Imam Mekye has served faithfully as the architect for something truly special, and I have been honored to partner with him to help build and realize his plans along with another dear friend in my work of building bridges of understanding, Sheikh Aziz Nathoo. Along with other Christians, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, and adherents of multiple other faiths, we are all trying to convey that we can indeed celebrate what we have in common while showing respect and regard for where there are differences. We ask questions, we do not assume or attack. We listen, we do not shout each other down. And in the end, we as all of God’s children (both those of us who believe in a Supreme Being and those who may not) appreciate and develop a true sense of community with each other while learning so much more about ourselves.

Please note that this is part of an official roll out of The Interfaith Library and I invite all of you to join us on this journey. Please note that we are continuing to work on this venture and refine it. Please be sure to read the “Camp Rules” on the Home Page before “choosing your journey” and we hope that we all can continue to learn more about each other while confirming who we each are within our own faith journeys. Happy Travels or Nesiah Tova - נסיעה טובה!

Our Pervasive and Threatening Identity Crisis

I often deal with identity issues in many avenues of my professional life. I am finding an increased exhaustion and frustration among a growing number of our young people and rising adults in terms of feeling pummeled by negative messaging, conflicting accounts of important matters fueled by political biases, exclusivity that does not include all, insensitivity to important social justice and human rights issues that are important to them, and so on. I am constantly reminded in my Multi-Faith work that religious/faith communities are all feeling that their respective rising adults are slipping away from them and feeling that religious teachings and community are rendering themselves irrelevant as the issues important to our 20- and 30-somethings are not adequately addressed in their eyes.

This correlates with what I am finding to be the case in my work with LGBTQ+ individuals, addressing Jewish identity in our 20- and 30- somethings, and in general through the articulation of my colleagues in the religious/academic leadership world. Our younger adults are feeling that their religious traditions are NOT responding to what is critical in their lives. This is so sad to me as I know that in my Jewish world, the focus on the one who is disadvantaged, the immigrant, the stranger, the one without family, the one without economic stability and security and all other disadvantaged individuals are to be cared for and tended to as part of our communal responsibility. I love that the very notion of TZEDAKAH is that G-d distributes resources so that we partner with G-d to insure that they are shared equally.

In the Jewish calendar we are beginning the year of 5782, and this is a year of Shmita – during which the land must rest, we free those from debts that are owed, and social justice and concern for the land are to occupy our minds as we consider our many blessings and the gratitude we are to have for them – in short, this is an opportunity to REBOOT. My husband and I just spent Rosh HaShana at Isabella Friedman Retreat Center where all of this is fundamental to the philosophy of this incredible and special space. It was and always is a wonderful experience as the Adamah cohort – an intentional group of environmentally conscious 20- somethings spend the Chag with those of us davening and participating in meaningful Tefillah(prayer and reflection). Meditation, consciousness of the land, Tefillah, the beauty of nature, healthy and delicious farm grown food, and a spirit of community of diversity come together in a way that too many of us seldom find. I think it is in this context that we can shepherd and protect our children’s and the next generation’s meaningful and multi-faceted Jewish identity.

In our very fractured political environment, we MUST be collectively mindful of too many people that are suffering from not being included, from all of the inequities that are part of our world – social, racial, economic, regional, political, etc. – and use this Shmita year to think carefully and consider our own intentional use of the land, our intentional interactions with each other, our intentional concern for those less fortunate than we are. In the year of Shmita, in which there are so many acts of social and economic justice indicated, how do we bring these very real problems in our world and our Jewish sensibilities together in a way that will allow us to share a platform of concern with our 20- and 30-somethings who ARE our Rising Leadership? This is the way we will begin to heal the rift that is widening precipitously in our reality.

A 30-something Jewish community professional writes as follows regarding identity issues and the impact on the challenge to them by Anti-Semitic rhetoric and tropes:

I live in a progressive, often queer, often multi-racial, Jewish community where we are dealing with such intense political and social unrest and have become deeply committed to the vision of a progressive, multi-racial democracy in the United States, our home, where we live. In this reality, my read on the tension between progressive Jewish engagement and perspectives on Israel is that a lot of younger progressive Jews feel much more committed to making our diasporic American context better and more just. This is our home…on top of that many of those people would say that one strategy to fight antisemitism is to be aligned with other fighting for the same multi-racial U.S. democracy that Jews need in order to survive and thrive.

We learn in Pirke Avot that It is not upon you individually to solve all of the problems but you may not desist from doing your part.

We are in the midst of the Ten Days of Repentance/Aseret Yimai Teshuvah. How will we do better this year? What will we individually and collectively do to insure and facilitate the continued identity of our leaders of tomorrow? Let us remember to engage in conversation with each other, show that we care about more than ourselves and can agree to disagree. Let us remember that our younger community’s concerns are our concerns as our future is in their hands. My prayer is that we go into this Shmita year, not bemoaning what is often perceived as the loss of identity among our younger Jews but claiming the identity and issues that they have taken on – social justice, proper and measured use of the land, acceptance of all who come in our gates, not judging others, and so on – all fundamental Jewish teachings that unite us as a people and formulate the basis of the identity that claims us all.

Are We Two Separate Countries or ….

I love Israel. I love that there are so many places where Arabs and Jews, Israelis and Muslims, Christians, Druze, Bedouins, and so many others play together, live together, work together, make music and beautiful art and drama together, cook and share meals together, learn more about each other, and solve challenges together. Sadly, these wonderful initiatives and organizations do not get enough publicity to offset the anger, the enmity, the extreme positions, and the bad behaviors that are often associated with Israel by those who are her detractors. Then of course on the other side of the attitudinal spectrum, the supposed purists who do not want to be tainted by the “other” do not acknowledge these wonderful programs and the many, many people who are part of these shared experiences that truly reflect the best of who we need to be and can be.

I am thinking of this always and particularly after our recent Tisha B’Av observance, it feels so present for me as an image to hold onto in these times in which so much destruction, discord, and extremist positions threaten what so many have painstakingly built and created. As the saying goes, be careful what you wish for – that dystopian horror as reflected in the Israeli mini-series “Autonomies” illustrates what I have longed believed – that destruction from within is far more horrific and difficult to come back from than destruction from outside of an entity, a nation, a people. People who subscribe to either of these extremes do NOT represent Israel to me nor the Judaism that is my soul and heritage.

In the same vein, I love the United States of America. I love that there are opportunities for people who have not had similar chances elsewhere. I love that SO MANY OF US WHO ARE IMMIGRANTS OR THE CHILDREN OF IMMIGRANTS who took serious chances in changing and uprooting their lives and their families have the lives we have. I know I am filled with gratitude beyond words for the life I am able to live and my children and grandchildren are the beneficiaries because of those who took that chance and this country that allowed them their do-overs. I am grateful that I and my daughters and so many women have opportunities to truly soar, accomplish so much and heal so many. ( I have to say GO WNBA here, in deference to my daughters, the sports fanatics). I love that I can have wonderful relationships with colleagues, friends and neighbors from so many different racial, ethnic, national, religious, and other groupings.

In the meantime, I am painfully aware of those who are not in favor of these interactions and want the same “pure” and narrow groupings they self-identify as preferred. This pains me when human beings who benefit from so much in this country would withhold the very resources that bolstered them from others. I hurt profoundly when people reacting to those who exclude others do the same in their own extreme positions. This country was built by and depends on the cooperation of all – not self-identified narrow groups in a silo. We are all in the boat together, and no one can dig a hole under their seat without peril to all, nor can one throw everyone off the boat and do everything on their own to make sure it will stay its course. Those on the extremes do not represent me nor the America my grandparents put their faith in and my parents and their generation helped to defend and make better.

The Israel I love and to which I am so connected, as well as the America to which I am so grateful, are ongoing experiences of compromise and understanding the other. In my Israel and America, 100% of the people will never be 100% happy 100% of the time, but will realize that what I personally may give up will be for the betterment of the collective and I in turn will benefit from the compromise of someone else. Arabs/Palestinians and Israelis share more than what divides them on so many levels; all of us who have been the beneficiaries of the American hope and dream should have gratitude, not succumb to hubris. The Israel and America I love are collectives of ideas, people, customs, different perspectives, and so much else. By engaging with each other, we each learn and become so much more enriched. EACH IS AN ENTITY --- not separate silos. However, there are those who want the exact opposite…. And these days I feel like there are two separate collectives in the USA – those who are part of the collection and coalition of ideas and perspectives and those who want all of us in the first group OUT! Similarly, that dystopian drama that is Israeli shows Israel as two separate entities – one for the “purist” religious grouping (self identifies as superior) and the second entity for all who accept each other. Here THE WALL separates people within the Jewish community due to the exclusion of one of the groupings of all who do not live according to their standards.

In a world where people are so against vaccinations and then have to use resources by those who are living by the rules to heal from their illnesses due to COVID and where many Israeli Haredim (though not all fervently religious individuals) benefit from “the others” of whom they disapprove but keep them safe and pay the way for them to not pull their weight in contributing to the country that provides for them, let us consider what would happen if these two “country entities” were really allowed to separate – the destruction, the lack of resources for one half, the danger to all. WE NEED EACH OTHER and this is one of the powerful lessons of Tisha B’Av – that the only way we can continue is to realize that we all have to work together in a united manner, not separate into exclusive entities, ignoring, at least, and maligning, at worst, the other.

An Assignment: Thoughts on Learning about Identity and its Universality

Like so many others, I LOVE Shtisel. So why has it found a place in so many of our lives? I think it’s because of the universality of the appeal of these flawed, conflicted, confused, very human characters who flip out, love, question, and experience every other aspect of life with which we can relate, regardless of religion, ethnicity, sexuality, gender, race, family line and every other identifying marker of who we are and what our identity is. I just love stories like this!

When choosing my recreational reading pursuits, I look for the same – stories of identity, including all of the inherent conflicts, imperfections, aspirations and everything else that comes with being human. Having just recently completed Snow by Orhan Pamuk, telling the story of an exiled Turkish poet, one notes the universality of the identity journey. The Namesake, traces Gogol’s story as the son of immigrants from India in his American life and the conflicts that tear at him from the past and the present, often working at crossroads with each other. I found the same in so many memoirs from various cultural groupings, ranging from Arabic to Native American, from Eastern European to African writers. For all of these important authors who are witnessing history while recounting their individuated journey, they are sharing with us their personal stories while we shake our heads and remark, “that’s just like my life.”

I remember years ago there was a critique from Chinese writers that Fiddler on the Roof was actually their story (that someone else apparently co-opted) about generational transformation and the difficulties of maintaining one’s traditions while navigating the challenges and realities of the present world. Then there were Jewish women who were perplexed by The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, and specifically incensed that it is women who play Mah Jong, not men!

So here is a thought in our very fractured world where too often people cannot even see each other anymore, and to my dismay, I believe too many have stopped caring that this is even a concern.

Let’s all accept the assignment to read identity stories, especially from those cultures we supposedly do not understand and/or think so foreign and far removed from our own lives. When we come to the realization that what parents want for their children is generally universal, and that generational conflicts exist in all of our cultures, that inequities of social justice plague way too many of us, that our foods actually reflect cultural influences from various sources, and that we are all sharing this world, maybe then…. We will realize that there are so many aspects of life we can and should be working together to resolve. Then perhaps we will see each other as partners on our collective journey instead of the enemy in a race that no one seems to be winning.

Times for Restorative Thinking About Each Other and Ourselves

This past week was Parshat Acherei Mot-Kedoshim in the rhythm and cycle of Torah readings in the Jewish community. Sandwiched between chapters focused on the irreverent and immoral practices of two other peoples, the Jewish nation are told “You shall be sanctified and special because I the Lord your God am Sanctified (Kadosh).” This particular Chapter 19 of Leviticus/VaYikra is, we are told the middle of the Torah, the Five Books of Moses. The phrase “And you shall show love towards the other similar to yourself” is in the middle of this chapter, surrounded by injunctions such as to not place a stumbling block before the blind (that he cannot see), not to curse the deaf (who cannot hear your words), not to pervert justice, not to stand idly by while your friend or neighbor is so hurt, not to hold a grudge, to pay your workers on time and so many other dictates, including to “not hate your brother in your heart,” in the same spirit as loving the other as yourself. These actions are not easy, in fact they are the 24/7 stuff of which our daily lives are composed.

It is much more difficult to live by these all-pervasive laws and principles then specifics about what we eat, how we observe the Shabbat day and so forth. We are taught by Hillel that this love towards the other is a(THE)large foundational principle of all else found in Torah. It is this love, this concern, this empathy that I see compromised in our world too often today.

In a Shiyur I give weekly to a wonderful group of third through fifth grade day schools students, we are presently learning Beresheet (Genesis), Chapter 14 with all of the commentaries about the war between the kings of five different nations on one side and four national entities on the other side. It is a power struggle gone haywire. The kids know well that the kings are not behaving properly. In a second shiyur I give weekly to an amazing group of first and second grade day school students, we study the Weekly Portion – Parshat HaShavuah. There we were learning about this coming week’s reading, Parshat Emor. We were talking about the many restrictions on the Kohanim – the Priests who were the leaders invested with the preservation and facilitation of the religious praxis of the Jewish nation. We were discussing why so many restrictions were placed on the Kohanim in their personal lives. Within that discussion, we compared it to instances where there are not restrictions and leaders lapse into the well-known adage “power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” This finding was also noted in the power struggle being studied by our older group. In the younger group, one of the students remarked, “just like presidents today.” Touche!

This morning, I was listening to Morning Joe and a discussion about President Biden. They were discussing how transformative he might be or not be able to be. I got the feeling they were searching for the right word and the word RESTORATIVE popped into my head. That is what I think he is trying to do – be restorative, reminding us of corrupt practices and how they hurt others as well as the bad actors displaying them – reminding us to care about others, to not exact revenge, to not place stumbling blocks, curse and demean others, ignore the suffering of those around us. I do subscribe to the idea that is taught by so many of all faiths that if one suffers, all suffer. You cannot dig a hole under your seat in the boat and be upset that others are complaining – after all, your hole is not under their seats, right?

We all need to go back to the basics because the boiling point of hostility, hatred, ignoring the rights of others and so much else that are hallmarks of civilized people has been reached and is wreaking havoc in our lives. We must all consider that this boat we are all on is in danger and so too are we. We must understand that the message of Chapter 19 of Leviticus/VaYikra is that sanctity and the status of Kedusha is not a given, but must be earned through our positive and restorative actions. That is the only way we will achieve this aspirational status. Our leaders need to act to restore our sense of humanity for all human beings and groups, and we need to join them in doing so. Otherwise, we will continue this descent into the world of those who practice corrupt ways to the detriment of all. Our lives matter and depend on this! Do your part, please.

The Lesson of Dr. Albert Bourla

One of the lovely aspects of the rhythm of my life now is getting up early in the morning and watching Morning Joe on MSNBC before I begin my work day. What I love about this show is the breath and breadth of the perspectives of the folks they speak with. There are amazing people doing amazing things. There are lessons for all of us to share. There is a concern for all people and views. It is here as well as in many of the news media I select as my favorites that the desire is expressed to heal all of us -- to maintain the integrity of the Republican party, there is a focus on what the ISSUES are and the need to cut through the screaming and chatter. The values of balance, listening to each other, working from the proper motivations and so much else is here. It does not matter if one is from one or the other political party, liberal or Conservative, or whatever you are … come and join the discussion that is inclusive and reasonable.

I personally find this mix comforting and affirming when I walk out into the world and get slammed from the right for being too concerned about all of humanity and from the left for being, as one Rabbi called me some time ago, a hypocrite for being and living in an observant world. I have never personally had a problem with interfacing my degree of observance with my concern for all of G-d’s created beings – we are instructed to do exactly that and so much of Jewish Law/Halacha actually is formulated with that goal. This focus pervades my teaching, my writing, my life, my family’s amazing involvements with the world and so much else. So, yes, I look for those integrated voices, not too extreme on the right or left, but JUST RIGHT. Thank you, Morning Joe. Thank you specifically for this morning and for so many others!

This morning, Joe, Mika and Willie introduced all of us (for those who did not know who this amazing man is) to Dr. Albert Bourla. Dr. Bourla is the Chief Executive Officer of Pfizer Pharmaceuticals. Dr. Bourla, interestingly enough a veterinarian by training and profession, talked about the process of coming up with the Pfizer vaccine, the amazing group who worked together to make what may have seemed impossible possible, the spirit of cooperation at Pfizer, the rejection of any government money so they would not have to be beholden to their agenda (the previous administration), and how his own story and motivation impacts on his life.

Dr. Bourla’s parents were Holocaust survivors. They were in a town where 96% of the residents died in the Holocaust. His parents were two of the relatively few people who survived. Then he explains how they did not just survive but they thrived. They taught him and all in their lives not to be revengeful, not to hate, and not to be angry; but rather, to work to heal the pain in our world. They taught him to love all of G-d’s children and to do whatever he could to make life better for them.

In his role at Pfizer, from the beginning, the goal was to make a vaccine that would help everyone who is part of the world community. He explained how they did not just make the vaccine for Israel, for the United States, his home country of Greece, and for other select countries, but also for Germany, Poland and all countries that could benefit – indeed the entire world. This child of survivors, persecuted and hated for who they were did not live to hurt others, but to heal the world. Dr. Bourla explained that this is the foundation of all that he is and does and hopes that his parents are proud of him for carrying their lessons. He explained that he engaged in this important work to honor them and their teachings.

Just like our President, Joe Biden, explains that he is a President for ALL Americans, including those who do not like or agree with him, Dr. Bourla is concerned for all human beings – ALL OF G-D’S CREATED BEINGS. This is what we should all carry with us – are my actions and my initiatives and investments good for all people or selfishly for the few I like? The former position heals and builds, the latter one hurts and destroys.

I am sure that Dr. Bourla’s parents are proud of him from their seat in Heaven. I suspect that many of us doing work to heal and bolster the masses have parents and grandparents who are joining them as they watch from above and are collectively proud of all those who are dedicated to truly making this world a healthier and better one. May we continue to join hands and work collectively to heal our very fractured world.

An Open Letter to Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, please join our circle of trauma survivors

Your words of recent as a result of your experience and that of so many more on January 6, 2021have been particularly poignant and searing. In following the developing story of our present Congress and Senate, I am excited, or at least hopeful, when I see more diversity and hear more voices in our lives, as I do regarding our faith communities, and the many institutions that connect us all. I, as our children all empathize with anyone oppressed, as we consistently fight for social justice, work towards understanding, participate in bringing people together to hear each other’s stories and learn our narratives, so that we can truly SEE and therefore care intentionally about each other. This is part of the imprint of my background as the child and part of subsequent generations of Russian immigrants who had to escape persecution and start a brand new life here in the United States. To be sure, there is trauma in our collective background as well, both from that background and the fact that my mom was the victim of a violent crime in her young years. From this pain, I have learned the critical importance of building important bridges of understanding instead of putting up walls. Hearing and SEEING each other and our truths is fundamental to who I am.

Within the context of my professional activities, I engage and interact with regional groups of Multi-Faith sharing and an international group of academic scholars who are people of faith. We are Buddhist, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Catholic, Hindu, and part of so many other faith communities as well. We know that we can celebrate what we share while showing respect and have regard for where we differ. We often find ourselves addressing the notion that victims and survivors of trauma in one group have a really hard time seeing and addressing that there are others who have experienced trauma as well and that we would do best to join in our circles of survivors and “thrivers” to work together --- in building circles of understanding. These collaborations are more necessary today than ever, it seems.

I work with and educate about such groups in many different venues. For example, there is a wonderful collective called Parents Circle-Families Forum (PCFF), which is a group of Palestinian and Israeli parents, ranging from the not so observant Muslims, Christians and Jews to those who are quite devout who meet regularly to support each other and share their hearts in trying to figure out how we can all TRULY SEE EACH OTHER and negotiate a place where all can meet, respecting our differences while supporting each other through losses. They, as I, wonder why we can’t do this to AVOID the loss of life instead of commiserate after the fact of such unimaginable loss and horrific trauma. I and members of my family are often in Israel, and I love being there with those who live in communities of co-existence, those learning Arabic and Hebrew in a program promoting understanding, families who are part of the Yad B’Yad bi-lingual school system, athletes playing in leagues including all faith communities and national identities, attending university together, and so on. This is the reality in Israel and many from Palestinian areas are included as well. While this country, like any other, is far from perfect, there are not just isolated but many peaceful co-existence initiatives to be proud of and model.

In my work with so many individuals and leaders of faith communities, those of us who are particularly religiously identified such as myself, as an Orthodox Jew, are of singular interest. We are too often the only ones from our own religiously observant communities in the room, but we believe in our presence there. I have found such joy in sharing these journeys with so many people I have come to love as friends and colleagues, as President of our large Multi-Faith Council – where I have brought people together from all faiths to stand in solidarity with those suffering at the hands of extremists that would like to destroy all of us, or in times of joy, to share elements of our respective faith and belief systems with each other, note how some of our traditional foods are so similar, learning our ethnic dances, sharing the texts and foundational beliefs of our respective lives, and so forth. My husband and I have taught the strength of our convictions and religion alongside our strong conviction that every person is created in the image of God and is to be honored as such. This has always been our focus.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of people in our religious Jewish world do not think particularly well of you nor of Ilhan Omar, even though as I stated, I love to see diversity in our government. This makes me sad, but I understand how it happens, unfortunately. There are many who will claim that the yelling and words of the “extreme left” are as bad and dangerous as the “extreme right.” I think we can all agree that given the events that have transpired recently, clearly this is just not so. That being said, I would ask that you and your colleagues consider your words and remember that they will be taken out of context and misused or abused by those who wish to do harm while justifying their own violent and inexcusable actions. Further, please remember that all of us – all faiths, all loyalties, all nationalities need to stand together in strength, with respect and regard for each other and not let the extreme fringes of our respective groups (and we all have them) pull us to positions that exclude others in ways we ourselves do not want to be excluded; and shout hurtful words at others in the way we do not want to have others do to us.

We MUST build bridges of understanding and compassion and care, so that we all can work together to overcome the destructive forces that do indeed try to divide and ultimately obliterate us. This cannot happen. Our respective faiths teach us this. Our various codes of honor and laws instruct us so. Our shared membership in the human family demands it. Go forth in strength, with conviction and a desire to learn more about those with whom you may differ but can build meaningful and fulfilling alliances. In this way, let us all turn trauma into the blessing of a shared coalition of healing.